Orthodox faith - confessor. Does a person need a spiritual mentor? Human spirit guides

When severe trials fall, anxiety and unrest cover, people ask for help from God or from the sages in order to get advice, recommendations for solving their problems. And then there is a need to find a person who can guide you on the right path and help you understand yourself and your own troubles. It is such a person that a spiritual mentor often becomes, who helps to open up the soul, repent and make a decision to change your life.

Why is Spiritual Guidance Necessary?

Without a leader, a person cannot live a life of holiness. You can find a teacher in a church, where you need to come and pray to the Lord to send a confessor who will comfort, advise and direct thoughts in a charitable direction. The role of a spiritual mentor is great. He, communicating with his child, conveys what the spirit of God conveys to him, instills peace and harmony in the soul.

As a rule, a spiritual mentor is a person with great life and religious experience, and he is obedient to lead the religious life of other people. The confessor plays a huge role in the life of a layman and a clergyman, and he is necessary in order to listen to his advice, live piously and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. The history of the church has several options for mentorship. But the main ones are:

the service of the priest in the parish, where he is the spiritual healer of all parishioners;
eldership, it was it that became widespread in Russia.

Elders - healers of souls

Originating in Byzantium, it has firmly entered Russian culture and occupied one of the significant places. The elders took a vow of obedience and by their words and deeds were called to expose sins and console people who were entangled in their own doubts. With saving conversations and instructions, they healed the souls, brought peace and tranquility to them.

Russian eldership takes its origins from Reverend Paisios Velichkovsky and reaches its development thanks to the monks of the Optina Hermitage. Monasteries with their spiritual mentors have been the center of pilgrimage for the Orthodox people for a long time. Eldership had its own peculiarity, where strict asceticism alternated with active exits into the world. These outlets were expressed in contact with the people and in the service of the world as a spiritual helper, mentor and adviser.

Achieving simplicity through humility

Being engaged in the religious education of their students, the elders taught wisdom, contributed to moral growth and improvement. During the earthly life of their spiritual disciple, they coordinated and directed the deeds and actions of the child. The relationship between teacher and student was very strong, because it was built on trust and respectful relationship, obedience and love. Father Zakhary instructed to protect one's conscience and strive for simplicity, which can only be achieved through humility.

They came to the elders for advice when there were doubts and difficult situations arose. Consolations and help were expected from the confessor. The uniqueness of the eldership in Orthodoxy lay in the unshakable faith and spiritual strength of the elders and in the subtle work that they carried out in the soul of their disciple. Influencing the human psyche, they delicately and accurately guide a person on the path of gaining love for the Lord.

Finding a Mentor

It is a great grace for a believer to find a clergyman who will be responsible to the Almighty for his student, will pray for him, control the growth of spirituality, guide his actions and instruct him in worldly life, and also guide him on the path of virtue that leads to eternal life. .

For a believer, the way of solving problems is different from the way that unbelieving laymen choose. People who are far from religion, as a rule, try to solve their troubles that have arisen, relying on the help and advice of their acquaintances and, in the main, people who are far from religion. And often the problem is not resolved, but only worsened. This happens because all the complexities are concentrated within us, far from God. And as a result, under the accumulation of sins, there is a failure of spiritual harmony.

With the advent of unforeseen situations, a churched person should go to his confessor for advice. At the same time, the believer understands that when asking what to do, he is waiting for an answer to his question from the Lord. Seeing his humility, God through the priest gives the right advice and blesses. A Christian will never doubt that it is necessary to follow what the confessor says. He is sure that it is the Almighty who sends him his support. Only if you transfer your heart and soul into obedience to a confessor, God's grace will settle in a person.

The Church does not set limits and provides an opportunity for a good Christian to choose a confessor himself. How to find a spiritual mentor? It’s good if it is a clergyman from the temple, where you often come to pray. But everything is individual, and sometimes it is not easy to meet a confessor with whom a trusting and cordial relationship would be established.

The mentor's task

Spiritual mentorship seeks to improve the personality and the manifestation of the image of God in it, to educate the spiritual principle in a person. Orthodox Christian must read and follow instructions holy fathers. They say:

the spiritual thoughts of any Orthodox should be led by a priest, whose help must be addressed both in confession and in teaching;
try to communicate with the confessor throughout your life, revealing your sins and ungodly thoughts;
following the teachings of spiritual father you will certainly find the Kingdom of Heaven;
If you entrust your heart to a confessor, then God's grace will settle in your soul.

How to choose a spiritual father?

How to choose a spiritual mentor? You don't have to look for ways. There is no need to make special efforts when starting the search for a spiritual mentor. This will tell the heart. Understanding whether this is your person or not will come by itself if:

the advice of the priest has a beneficial effect and heals the soul;
you receive comfort and feel supported;
feel joy and peace when communicating with him;
feel and believe in the power of his prayer and mutual benevolence.

How to start searching for a spiritual father

In order for God to tell you how to find a spiritual mentor, you need to pray a lot and passionately. Starting the search, you need to take a closer look at the parish in which the priest conducts services. A good priest in the temple always has a benevolent atmosphere. It is worth talking with the parishioners, to find out their opinion about the pastor.

You should not go to distant lands, wondering where to find your spiritual mentor. He may be near and closer than you think. You don't have to tell anyone about your mentor when you meet him. Religious life is private, and there is no need to put it on public display.

Come often to the church you like. Open up to the priest at confession and pray for him, and then God will reveal his will through him. When communication with a clergyman takes place in confidence, then it is worth following the advice of the priest and, having received parting words, fulfill it. There is no need to come with one question or problem to many priests, hoping for a change in admonition.

There is no need to rush and call the first priest you meet your confessor. When visiting church, confess and ask the priest for advice about your pain. And then it is possible to meet a spiritual father close to you.

Communicating with parishioners, find out where to find your confessor, and which priest enjoys authority and respect from the flock.

You need to start reading with simple and understandable texts. Spiritual books will help you to correctly determine the goals and priorities in life.

Does a person need a spiritual mentor?

In any field of activity or in sports, a novice specialist, athlete or student always has a mentor. He helps to master the profession, shares experience, advice. The mentorship of a clergyman is aimed at achieving a student's strength of spirit, religious self-awareness and the fulfillment of divine commandments.

The relationship between a child and a confessor is not measured by the amount of time spent together. Sometimes a few sentences are enough to calm the soul and resolve issues. It is important to follow all the advice received from the confessor.

In worldly life, it is important for families following the laws of God to confess to one confessor. It happens that the resulting internal family problems can be decided together.

It is desirable for a churched person to keep a record of his sins and then confess them to the confessor as often as possible. It is believed that salvation is in a multitude of councils. Therefore, it is useful for the soul to seek answers to questions from several priests. But it is better to open thoughts and sinful thoughts only to your spiritual father.

Some believers do not know that, when going to the shepherd, they need to read the prayer: “Lord! Give me mercy and inspire the spiritual father to give me an answer according to your will. Entrusting yourself to a spiritual father is the best way to get on the path of correction. The devil will not be able to intervene where everything secret and sinful has been revealed to the confessor. It is important to obey your leader, because through him you obey God.

spiritual teacher

A confessor is like a teacher who reveals the true meaning of many things and the truth to his wards. A teacher, a spiritual mentor must expand the inner potential of the individual, influence him, make the spiritual world of the pupil consonant with his own.

Mentoring is also the confessor's prayers for sending him wisdom in teaching his students. This is his appeal to God in insoluble situations, a request for support from the Heavenly Intercessor in moments of doubt and helplessness. The spiritual father is responsible before Jesus Christ for the children entrusted to him.

Human spirit guides

On our way, we come across a lot of people who call and consider themselves spiritual mentors. Often they have their own teachings, schools, or they call themselves followers of famous spiritual figures. Such mentors have students, like-minded people and admirers who support their views and beliefs.

In addition, each person has his own invisible spiritual helpers. These include angels who protect and protect throughout life. If you manage to learn to understand them, then life will become much easier and simpler. Coming into the world together with the born baby, the angels leave it after death.

A believer who strives to follow God's commandments with a clear conscience and thoughts, before adversity. They only strengthen beliefs and perfect his soul. Going to his confessor, he realizes that he is asking for advice not from a person, but from the Lord, who through the priest gives the necessary advice and blesses. The parting words of the spiritual father, carried out strictly, will lead to help from God. For the purpose of man's existence on earth is to purify his heart and feel the closeness of God.

zemskova777 - 07.10.2014

Dear readers, continuing your favorite column, in which we give brief recommendations on spiritual life, today we will touch on a very important topic. How to find a spiritual father? How to build a relationship with a confessor? What to do if there is no confessor? These questions must have been asked by every church person. Of course, you need to thank the Lord if you have a spiritually experienced mentor who prays for you and especially cares about the salvation of your soul.

In professional sports, it is unlikely to achieve serious victories and win the Olympic Games if the athlete does not have a strong coach. So in the spiritual life, spiritual guidance is important. The tradition of spiritual spirituality has existed since the first centuries of Christianity. Confessors were either specially chosen by the hierarchy, or Christian life itself nominated them for a special service due to the fact that they were drawn to for advice, spiritual help, like some monks in our monasteries. In this article, we will try to answer frequently asked questions and hope that it will be useful to you.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE A Confessor:

The relationship between the confessor and the child should be built on mutual respect and Christian love. But it happens that some lay people replace the good veneration of the priest with some kind of fanaticism. It shouldn't be. A priest is not a heavenly angel, he is the same person, but providentially chosen by the Lord to serve God and people. The ideal for all of us and the main confessor for all is our Lord Jesus Christ.

Obedience , as Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh writes, it is, first of all, the desire to listen and hear not only with the mind, not only with the ear, but with the whole being, with an open heart. In spiritual life, as in family life, it happens that children, having not received proper education, grow up and cease to trust their parents, from whom they received life itself. They think they have enough knowledge to solve all the problems of life themselves. And, ignoring the experience of the closest people, they make irreparable mistakes. Doubts arise from unestablished faith and from ignorance human nature in her fallen state. Most often, the priest borrows the basis of his answer from the Holy Scriptures. That is, he does not say what he personally thinks or believes, but what God Himself spoke about it. Is the questioner ready to accept the Will of God? Unfortunately, most often we are looking for the fulfillment of our will.

What to do if you cannot fulfill the blessing of the confessor? There can be two situations here: when the confessor gives obedience that contradicts the commandments, this, of course, should not be performed. And if the blessing is for good, but the child does not listen, then here we are talking, rather, about pride and distrust of the confessor and the fact that through him the will of God is revealed. No one can take away a person’s free will, but it’s worth considering why you should look for a confessor at all if you don’t obey him or obey according to your mood.

Unquestioning and absolute obedience without spiritual reasoning is scary. It is tantamount to self-destruction. It transforms people into zombified individuals who have lost the Divine gift of personality and freedom. Obedience in Christianity is, first of all, listening to the gospel truths and following them in the freedom of the chosen path: "Faith by hearing, hearing by the preacher" the Apostle Paul teaches. "He who listens to you listens to me" Jesus Christ says.

Is it possible to go to other priests? No one can prohibit communication and confession with other priests. Especially if it is caused by a change of residence, travel and other objective reasons. But still, first of all, you need to confess to your confessor and maintain regular communication with him, primarily prayer, and also share important moments of your life. We can have many teachers and mentors, but only one priest can become a spiritual father.

How to pray for a spiritual father? First, in daily prayer rule, which we read in the morning and in the evening, there are prayers where we commemorate the confessor in the very first place. Secondly, there are separate prayers for the spiritual father (see below). Thirdly, every Christian has his own commemorative synodic, where the confessor's name should also be written down. Such a commemoration is read on church services and home (cell) prayers. Pious children serve in churches and monasteries notes about their spiritual mentors - masses, prayers, magpies. It will not be superfluous to ask other priests and laity for prayers for your confessor. The grace of faith and prayer brings different people together, strengthens them with a union of love.

What to do if there are doubts about the right choice of confessor. Yes, people make mistakes, and the spiritual life is no exception. But do not rush to conclusions. main reason When it is worth parting with a confessor, these are his “blessings” that contradict the Commandments of Christ, the suppression of freedom and a negative impact on the spiritual development of a person. Otherwise, most likely, unkind thoughts are temptations. And here only one thing can be advised: to intensify prayer and trust in the will of God. And in bad thoughts, suspicion, and on this basis, the desire to find a new confessor, you need to repent. Just as we have one parent forever, so ideally there should be one confessor.

Can one priest be the confessor of the whole family? Yes, this pious practice has existed in Russia for centuries. It's wonderful when the priest knows the family well. It will be easier for him to give advice, support and nourish people with whom he is well acquainted.

How often should you communicate with a spiritual father? Spiritual relationships cannot be measured by the amount of time a confessor devotes to his spiritual children if a strong alliance of mutual understanding has been established between the shepherd and the flock. Sometimes a few heartfelt words of a shepherd, reverently acceptable by spiritual children, are enough to make everything clear in the soul. Indeed, between their souls there is an atmosphere of trust and love, as in a family, when children know that their father is always with them. Even if at the moment he is not around, they do not have a feeling of loneliness, abandonment. You should try to keep in touch with the confessor, even if you are separated by long distances. There is a pious tradition to congratulate the confessor on the holidays, share difficulties and joys, write letters to each other, talk on the phone - in our age of modern technology, this has become easy.

About Confession. The task of the confessor is to help the penitent to open up his heart and soul, to awaken faith in the inexpressible love of God and the resurrecting power of repentance. And at the same time, to affirm the will of the penitent in a firm determination to leave a vicious way of life, not to commit lawlessness. How can a confessor give you the right advice if you don't confess to him? But Confession is not a time for idle talk. We need to protect our spiritual fathers, just as we protect our parents. It is necessary to prepare for Confession seriously - tune in, prayerfully warm your soul, first reconcile with everyone, maybe for someone it would be better to write everything down on paper. Repentance is the Sacrament of changing the mind, the rebirth of the soul, and not a formal account of many sins.

What should not be discussed with a confessor? There are such children who simply overcome their confessors on trifles, up to the question of the color of the wallpaper or the breed of the cat. This is absurd. Questions related to everyday life should not be put before the spiritual father. We need a confessor for spiritual guidance. The question of the rule of prayer, preparation for the Sacraments, advice in significant matters and serious situations, requests for prayers - in this we should always seek advice and help from the priest. Let's remember the gospel words: Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE A Confessor:

Today, finding a spiritual father is not an easy task. And it can not be treated formally. How often does it happen that a girl gets married so that she simply has a husband, or has a child so that he, too, simply has, not understanding the true meaning of family and childbearing. Nothing good from such stories usually develops in secular life, and even more so in spiritual life. Approximately 10 people out of 100 now have confessors. Perhaps not everyone needs a confessor so urgently.

What if there is no confessor? We live in an age information technologies who have served in many ways for the benefit of the Church. Could people who lived 100 years ago imagine that there would be Orthodox television, radio, newspapers, magazines, Internet portals, mobile applications? Watch the channels "Spas", "Union", "My Joy", be edified by the word of God on Orthodox websites. And then no one canceled spiritual books, which are presented in a great variety in icon shops and stores.

“Live according to conscience and the Gospel, listen to the Lord Christ and read the holy fathers”, - this is how the elder answered one young woman to her question: “How can I live without a confessor?” And, perhaps, this is the only correct advice for both those who have a confessor and those who do not.

Does everyone need a spiritual father? The question is very difficult. The fact is that in Orthodox ascetic literature, the theme of the need for a spiritual mentor and how carefully one should fulfill his blessings, perceiving them as the will of God, avoiding self-commitment, and regularly confessing one's sins and all thoughts to him is very often heard. However, this practice largely applies to monastics. Moreover, in ancient times, the elder and the novice often lived almost in the same cave and they had time both for regular joint prayer and for daily spiritual conversation. Self-denial and humility of one's will before the spiritual father is part of the ancient monastic practice. This is what is called obedience. If you do not have such an opportunity and desire, perhaps you do not need a confessor.

How to choose the right confessor?
- You need to trust your heart... By confessing and communicating with a priest, asking for his advice, you will soon understand if this is really your future confessor. If his advice has a positive effect on your spiritual life, you find comfort and support from him, you feel joy and peace from communicating with him, you see the power of his prayer and mutual disposition towards you, then you can ask the priest to become your confessor. But first you need to fervently pray to the Lord to send a spiritual father…
- Take a closer look at the parish where the priest serves. A good shepherd has peace and love, joy and an active good life in the parish.
- You can talk with the spiritual children of the priest, the parishioners of the temple.
- There is no need to strive to run across the seas and oceans in search of a spiritual father, often he is closer than you think. And it would be wrong to tell everyone and everything about your confessor, having found him. Still, our spiritual life is a very personal topic.
- There is also a simpler advice: go to a church whose parishioner you consider yourself to be, find a priest among those who serve in it, whom you trust, with whom you confess, and pray for him so that the Lord will reveal His will to you through him.
- On the advice of Archimandrite John Krestyankin: "Never rush to call the first priest you meet your spiritual father. Go to church, confess, take communion, ask the priests about the issues that concern you, and only then you will understand that out of many - one is closest to your soul, you will contact only to him."

ABOUT PRIESTHOOD:

Power knit and solve(Matt. 18:18), that is, to forgive people's sins, and more generally, the power of spiritual guidance and fatherhood was entrusted by the Lord Jesus Christ to His Apostles. From them, she passed on to all subsequent generations of bishops and pastors. And the task of spiritual leadership has always been entrusted to the pastors of the Church, although in some eras, for example, in the era of iconoclasm, when there were not enough pastors or when many pastors veered into heresy, ordinary monks took over spiritual leadership.

There have been many types of spiritual leadership in the history of the Church , but there are two main ones. The first type is the ministry of the parish priest, who is the spiritual leader of his parishioners. The second type is eldership, which became widespread in Byzantium and in Russia.

What is the difference between a confessor in the world and in a monastery? The parish priest is entrusted with the task of teaching people, helping them with advice, but he cannot and should not take the life of the parishioners under his full spiritual control. Another thing is the type of spiritual leadership that took shape in some monasteries, where there were monks experienced in the spiritual life, where novices and monks voluntarily entrusted themselves to obedience and complete spiritual submission to the elder. Here the relationship was already built on a different basis: the elder could not only give advice to his students, but also give orders, and they had to obey him implicitly. It is precisely such relationships that exist today on Mount Athos, where each of the monasteries is headed by an experienced leader in spiritual life.

PRAYER FOR THE SPIRITUAL FATHER

Save, O Lord, and have mercy on my spiritual father (rank and name), grant him spiritual salvation and bodily health, protect him with your holy angels. Multiply spiritual gifts in him, fill him with wisdom and love, send him a warm prayer. And for the sake of his holy prayers, grant forgiveness by my sin, correction of life, prosperity in virtues. Send him Your rich mercy. Remember, visit, strengthen it and keep it for many years for the sake of us sinners. Lord, You are immeasurably holy, immeasurably righteous, immeasurably merciful! Sanctify with Thy holiness my spiritual father (rank and name), justify him with Your righteousness and cover him with Your mercy. Lord, You have united us on earth, do not separate us in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Amen.

Confessor and SPIRITUAL FATHER: IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

– Is there a difference between the concepts of “confessor” and “spiritual father”? Some of the priests say that these are synonyms, and someone says that a confessor is any priest who conducts the Sacrament of Confession, and a spiritual father is the one who leads the spiritual life of a Christian. Why such a discrepancy?
- In short, this is due to the difference in the traditions of the confessor of the Russian Church and the Greek-speaking Churches. In the Orthodox East, not every priest has the right to confess believers; there are special priests-confessors experienced in spiritual life. The Trebnik (a book that contains the following of the Sacraments, including the Confession) has a special chapter "On what a confessor should be like." Naturally, it appeared from the Greek editions. It says what qualities a confessor should have, that no one can confess without special permission from the bishop (as in the Greek tradition). That is why, according to the Trebnik, the concepts of a confessing priest and confessor are the same.

In Russia, due to the fact that for each clergyman there were (and still are) a much larger number of parishioners who wanted to confess, a tradition was established to allow any priest to conduct the Sacrament of Confession. But only experienced priests, who in the Russian tradition are called confessors or spiritual fathers, can exercise spiritual guidance and give advice in spiritual life. Here these words are already synonyms.

QUOTATIONS OF THE SAINTS ABOUT PRIESTHOOD:

If someone sincerely and wholeheartedly seeks salvation, God will lead him to a true mentor ... Do not worry: he will always find his own.

Reverend Lev of Optina.

Do not pay attention to the one who is already advanced in years, but to the one who is adorned with spiritual knowledge, deeds and experience, so as not to receive harm instead of benefit.

Reverend Isaiah.

It is necessary to ascertain in advance in the righteousness, in the experience of the elder, and then already trust his word and unquestioningly accept his advice. The sign by which this can be recognized is the agreement of his word with the Word of God. If someone points out to you something that is in accordance with the commandments of our Lord, accept it with humility and try to keep it, so that the word of the apostle will be fulfilled in us: obey one another in the fear of God(Eph. 5:21). On the contrary, if someone points out to you something contrary to the Divine commandments, then say to the one who gives instruction: Is it fair before God to listen to you more than to God(Acts 4:19)?

Saint Anthony the Great.

Excellent is your desire to be in complete submission to an experienced mentor. But this feat is not given to our time. He is absent not only in the midst of the Christian world, sometimes even in monasteries. Mortification of the mind and will cannot be done by a person of the soul, even if he is kind and pious. This requires a spirit-bearing father. For advice, for leadership, it is not enough to be pious; one must have spiritual experience.

Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov).

Before looking for an experienced confessor, you must, as they say, rub your eyes, put in your heart the desire to be a good Christian, have a firm faith, be an obedient member of the Holy Church, fight your evil habits and then pray earnestly that the Lord will help you. find a spiritual father, and you will certainly find him...

Hieromartyr Arseny (Zhadanovsky).

One must cling to the Lord, believe and trust Him, not formally reading the Gospel and prayers, but one must turn to the living God. The Lord will send and give a spiritual father when you turn to the Lord.

Archimandrite John (Krestyankin).

Now the question of where and how to find a leader is solved by itself. Take the one whom God has sent and trust him, as Saint Ignatius the God-bearer teaches. Be afraid to remain without any guidance; seek it as the first good.

Saint Theophan the Recluse.

I do not consider myself anyone's spiritual father and I do not recognize anyone as my spiritual children; why? Because I see not only myself incapable of spiritual guidance, but in all my life I have not seen a single one capable of this, nor have I seen a single child capable of obedience and of life under the guidance of a spiritual father. Maybe that's why there are no fathers, because there are no capable children.

Hegumen Nikon (Vorobiev).

If you leave your spiritual father with despondency, with longing, with an even greater burden than you came to him, if he causes you suffering, and these sufferings drag you to the ground, and you do not receive relief, beware of such a father! This is the true sign of your true spiritual father who can guide you: if you leave him relieved, your soul is lifted above the ground, you feel new strength, peace, joy, light, love for everyone with a desire to work on yourself. , to serve Christ - know that this is your true spiritual father.

Holy Righteous Alexy Mechev.

Sometimes, speaking of a spiritual father, they use the expression spiritual father, but a person does not become a spiritual child of a priest just because he constantly confesses. Relationships of spiritual kinship arise when a person feels that his heart is open to the confessor, that God wants to save him through love, prayers and instructions of the confessor. Then the person turns to the confessor with a request to be his spiritual father. This is a very responsible step, because the change of the spiritual father is always a mental and spiritual trauma for both, is always not useful for the departing spiritual child, and is permissible only when there is no other way out. A spiritual father, like a father, must be alone for life, therefore, before asking for spiritual children, you need to pray to God for enlightenment, so that He either confirms the desire that has arisen in the heart, if it is true, or expels it from the heart, if it not from God.

Archpriest Konstantin Ostrovsky.

IN CUSTODY I would like to note that we must purely pray to God that He send us a spiritual leader. Cordially
we wish everyone to find a soul mate, congenial and experienced confessor. If you can't find such a mentor, don't worry. The main confessor for all of us is the Lord! And the best spiritual guidance for every day - this is the Gospel and the creations of the holy fathers. Also for everyone who needs advice and spiritual support, it will be useful Internet project "Father online"

Almost every person, having come to the Church, sooner or later tries to find a confessor who would lead him along the path of salvation. However, this task, as we see, is not easy, and our aspirations are not always justified, we do not find what we are looking for. In this article, we will try to give some tips that may help to facilitate the task.

Why is a spiritual leader needed?

Why does a person need a spiritual leader? In order to guide him along the spiritual path with his instructions. To achieve our main goal - salvation, the Kingdom of Heaven - we must learn to live according to the commandments, in accordance with the will of God. Very often we ourselves are not able to see and understand what it is in our life, what is more useful and necessary for us.

For this, a confessor is needed: to discern what will be more useful for us, and to guide us along this path. Of course, you can go through an unfamiliar path yourself, but you must agree that with an experienced guide it will be much easier and more accurate to do this.

Therefore, it would be correct to say that everyone needs a spiritual mentor. Even if it has not yet been found, but at least the desire to have such an adviser must be present. This is the first sign of sanity and a correct self-assessment of the strength of a believer. Saint Anthony of Optina wrote:

If anyone, relying on his own understanding, thinks that he does not need a leader, he will soon stray from the path of the right.

At the same time, of course, one should not forget that the leader only guides the person, shows the path, and it will take a lot of personal effort from him to go through this path. The confessor will not live for him. Nikon Optinsky spoke about the same:

The spiritual father, like a pillar, only points the way, but you have to go yourself. If the spiritual father will point, and his disciple himself will not move, then he will not go anywhere, but will rot at this pillar.

All responsibility for the acts performed always lies with the one who performs them, and not with the leader. It is also important to remember this because many, behind the desire to find a confessor, are only trying to hide and justify their cowardice.

What should be a mentor?

There are several general mandatory rules - characteristics for a confessor:

he must be a legally ordained priest, not in the ban;
one cannot take a schismatic or a heretic as a confessor;
all the views, advice and blessings of the shepherd should not contradict the Gospel, the commandments of God;
he must be a spiritually experienced, sober and sane person;
a prerequisite for a trusting relationship between the leader and his "ward" should be some kind of spiritual kinship;
it is desirable that you have established constant contact with the confessor;
it is important that such a person leads you to Christ, and does not bind you to himself;
a spiritual mentor, first of all, should be a wise adviser who will not suppress your personality, personal freedom of a person, and try to remake you “for himself”.

These are just some of the general requirements to be followed. The fact that, by his personal example, a confessor should embody the main Christ qualities, such as meekness and humility, is obvious. Therefore, if the priest himself, for example, asks to be your leader or, in response to your proposal, gladly agrees, this will be a sure sign that such a person has not yet matured spiritually, and it is better not to take him as a mentor.

A real confessor is always aware of the enormous responsibility for each of his "child" and therefore will not rush into spiritual "adoption". And in general, in order to find a confessor correctly, you should show great patience and caution, since a lot depends on this. John (Krestyankin) wrote in one of his letters:

Do not rush to call the first priest you meet a confessor. Go to church, confess, ask many questions about your concerns, and only when you realize that out of many, one is the most close to the soul yours, you will only refer to him.

"Good shepherd" or strict?

Often a misconception about the subject of our search prevents us from finding what we need. It is the same with spiritual guidance. Quite a popular phenomenon, especially for beginners, is the desire to find a strict and ruthless confessor who will not “lisp” with you and will not allow you to “sit on his head”. Here I will find such a shepherd, the neophyte believes, and life will immediately get better.

However, most often this position is caused by incorrect self-esteem and conceit. Severity is needed by those who can bear it, and it is perhaps better for a gentle person to have a gentler leader. Everyone should look for what is closer to him in temperament. Of course, John of the Ladder also said: Do not look for a flattering confessor. This means that you should not shy away from being too compassionate towards yourself.

It is most reasonable, in a word, to stick to the “golden mean”, so that both severity and a merciful attitude are harmoniously dosed. Let us recall how Theophan the Recluse taught that the spiritual life of a person should resemble a string: not too tight so as not to break, but not lowered in order to sound good.

Why is it not necessary to look for elders?

Another fashionable phenomenon in the Orthodox environment, which is difficult to get rid of, is the desire to find a confessor among the elders. Elders are special people who are endowed with special charisma, grace, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which give them the ability to heal human souls most skillfully.

It should be said that initially the tradition of confessorship came out precisely from the environment of elders. It assumed complete obedience to one's confessor, absolute cutting off one's own will. This kind of obedience is not available to us today, it can only take place in monasteries, and even then not in all. Moreover, there are almost no elders left today, and if they exist somewhere, they carefully hide from human glory.

Therefore, it is categorically not recommended to look for elders. There is a great danger that you will fall into a false or young old man (people who behave like elders, but they are not), and this, of course, can cause irreparable damage to your soul. It is best to keep the safe path, and in our case, any sober-minded, compassionate towards people parish priest much more suitable for the role of a spiritual mentor.

And family worldly people they advise to turn more specifically to family priests, and monks, respectively, to monastics. It is logical that the best advice can be given by the confessor who has some experience in this matter.

Major Mistakes in Relationships with a Spiritual Father

One of the most common mistakes in the relationship between a spiritual child and his teacher is excessive human affection that turns into addiction. Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) warned:

Guard against attachment to a mentor. Advice and obedience are pure and pleasing to God as long as they are not defiled by addiction. Addiction makes a loved one an idol, God turns away with anger from the sacrifices made to this idol.

In the relationship between the spiritual mentor and the “ward”, in general, any shepherd and flock, a reasonable distance should be maintained, there should not be any familiarity. Otherwise, it can have a detrimental effect both on these relationships themselves and on the soul of a person as a whole.

The life of a priest is a special temptation not only for strangers, but also for believers. Therefore, it is best not to try to find out in all its details. In addition, the “enemy of the human race” will certainly not fail to take advantage of this, showing everything in a distorted form and exaggerating.

There is also no need to try to "appropriate" the confessor to yourself, to bother him with unnecessary and unimportant questions. The shepherd is no one's "property", his time and attention equally belong to all the "hungry" spiritual advice and consolation.

Questions in which the confessor is not a judge

There is, in addition, a number of issues that the spiritual mentor categorically has no right to decide for you and even persistently advise. For example, he cannot indicate who you should marry or whom you should marry, whether you should go to a monastery, or decide other fateful issues related to family life and work.

It also makes no sense to turn to the pastor for advice on some purely everyday or economic, administrative issues. You need to look for help only in what the person is really competent in, in what he can give you advice. And there is no need to demand the impossible from anyone.

What to do if there is no spiritual leader?

Despite the abundance of open operating temples, finding a confessor today is not an easy task. And even if you are lucky enough to meet such an experienced and sensible priest, then, as a rule, there are too many people who want to “sign up” as his spiritual children, and not even physically he can give enough time and attention to everyone. Such priests turn out to be what is called “to be snapped up”.

What to do if you have not yet managed to find a spiritual leader? First, don't despair. You need to be satisfied with what you have at the moment, and thank God for everything. But you should not forget to ask for a mentor either. The time will come, and such a spiritual father will be found. In the meantime, it may well be replaced by reading: Holy Bible, teachings of the holy fathers. In any case, you will always need to check your life with them, even if you have a leader.

Archpriest Andrey Tkachev answers questions about clergy in an interesting way:

Take it, tell your friends!

Why is Spiritual Guidance Necessary?

the service of a priest in a parish, where he is the spiritual healer of all parishioners; eldership, it is this that has become widespread in Russia.

Elders - healers of souls

Originating in Byzantium, it has firmly entered Russian culture and occupied one of the most significant places. The elders took a vow of obedience and by their words and deeds were called to expose sins and console people who were entangled in their own doubts. With saving conversations and instructions, they healed the souls, brought peace and tranquility to them.

Russian eldership takes its origins from the Monk Paisius Velichkovsky and reaches its development thanks to the monks of the Optina Hermitage. Monasteries with their spiritual mentors have been the center of pilgrimage for the Orthodox people for a long time. Eldership had its own peculiarity, where strict asceticism alternated with active exits into the world. These outlets were expressed in contact with the people and in the service of the world as a spiritual helper, mentor and adviser.

Achieving simplicity through humility

Being engaged in the religious education of their students, the elders taught wisdom, contributed to moral growth and improvement. During the earthly life of their spiritual disciple, they coordinated and directed the deeds and actions of the child. The connection between the teacher and the student was very strong, because it was built on a trusting and respectful relationship, humility and love. Father Zakhary instructed to protect one's conscience and strive for simplicity, which can only be achieved through humility.

Finding a Mentor

The mentor's task

Spiritual mentorship seeks to improve the personality and the manifestation of the image of God in it, to educate the spiritual principle in a person. An Orthodox Christian should definitely read and be imbued with the instructions of the holy fathers. They say:

the spiritual thoughts of any Orthodox should be led by a priest, whose help must be addressed both in confession and in teaching; try to communicate with the confessor throughout your life, revealing your sins and ungodly thoughts; following the teachings of your spiritual father, you will certainly gain the Kingdom of Heaven; if you trust your heart to the confessor, then God's grace will settle in the soul.

How to choose a spiritual father?

the advice of the priest has a beneficial effect and heals the soul; you receive consolation and feel support; you experience joy and peace when communicating with him; you feel and believe in the power of his prayer and mutual goodwill.

How to start searching for a spiritual father

Communicating with parishioners, find out where to find your confessor, and which priest enjoys authority and respect from the flock.

You need to start reading religious literature from simple and understandable texts. Spiritual books will help you to correctly determine the goals and priorities in life.

Does a person need a spiritual mentor?

In worldly life, it is important for families following the laws of God to confess to one confessor. It happens that emerging internal family problems can be solved together.

spiritual teacher

Human spirit guides

A believer who strives to follow God's commandments with a clear conscience and thoughts does not lose heart before adversity. They only strengthen beliefs and perfect his soul. Going to his confessor, he realizes that he is asking for advice not from a person, but from the Lord, who through the priest gives the necessary advice and blesses. The parting words of the spiritual father, carried out strictly, will lead to help from God. For the purpose of man's existence on earth is to purify his heart and feel the closeness of God.

HOW TO FIND A SPIRITUAL FATHER? zemskova777 - 07.10.2014

The desire to have a spiritual mentor is great in every Christian. It is understandable: it is much easier and safer to go through life this way, it is easier to keep peace in the soul, it is more convenient to humble yourself and, therefore, be saved. But is it always?

The realities of our life require a careful and responsible attitude to this issue. Haste in choosing a confessor is too dangerous, and frivolous parting with free will is far from true humility.

Before calling someone your confessor, you should think carefully, because even a person dressed in a sacred dignity remains a person. And not every clergyman can cope with the burden of being a spiritual father.

Hegumen Peter (Meshcherinov):

What should be a confessor? In my opinion, there are two criteria:

1. A priest must perceive a person who comes to him as equal to him before God. This does not mean familiarity or familiarity, which means that a priest cannot have a relationship with a person “from above ...

Instruction

You should start looking for a mentor only if you are already firmly convinced that you need one. In order not to make a mistake in the choice, you must first pray. Then God himself will help you in your search and will surely lead you to the person who is most suitable for this role.

In order not to make a mistake with the choice, do not try to take the first priest you confess to as your confessor. Go to the temple, take a closer look at the priests, listen to what they say about each of them. And, of course, pay attention to who your heart lies to.

Priests in the Church can be conditionally divided into two categories: those who are quite strict in matters of church discipline (observance of all rites, services, fasts, prayers, etc.), and those who are a little softer and more flexible with their “children” . It is also necessary to take into account these parameters when choosing a spiritual father. If you are going to strictly follow all the traditions and customs, then you need to look for ...

The man who walked on water

One narrow-minded dervish from a religious-ascetic school was walking along the riverbank, meditating on moral and scholastic problems, for in the school to which he belonged, the Sufi teachings were applied in just such a spirit. The dervish mistook sentimental religion for the search for the ultimate truth.
Suddenly, a loud voice from the river interrupted his thoughts. He listened and heard the dervish call. This man is doing something useless, he told himself, because he doesn't pronounce the formula correctly. Instead of saying "ya ha", he says "a ya ha".
After thinking for a while, the dervish decided that, as a more attentive and diligent student, it was his duty to teach this unfortunate one, who, although deprived of the opportunity to receive correct instruction (from a permanent teacher), still seems to be trying with all his might to bring himself into harmony with power in these sounds.
So, he hired a boat and sailed to the island from which he heard ...

How to find a confessor

This section contains materials on how to find, how to choose a confessor.

How to find a confessor?

What are spiritual fathers

Archpriest Vyacheslav Tulupov
We are surrounded by various clerics. They differ from each other in character, experience and degree of spiritual perfection. Which one of them would you choose as your mentor? When looking for a mentor, follow the main rule ...

Who is a confessor? This is a person dressed in a sacred dignity, belonging to the white clergy (serves in an ordinary church) or a monastic (serves in a monastery, but can, by obedience, that is, the will of the bishop, serve in an ordinary church), leading us along the path of soul salvation.
That priest in the parish (which can be reached on foot) the temple, at which we often or even constantly confess, is not a confessor. He is a confessor.
The priest who accepts confession is a witness to the repentance of this person before Christ. As a servant of God, he pronounces a permissive prayer, and the Lord Himself decides, seeing the heart of a person, whether a person is resolved from this sin or not.
A person, growing spiritually at some point, begins to feel the need for an experienced spiritual leader - confessor.
How to find it?
Some say that you need to go to different churches, ask people questions, talk with the priests - which one you like, go to this one.
But more...

If someone sincerely and wholeheartedly seeks salvation, God will lead him to a true mentor ... Do not worry - he will always find his own.
Rev. Lev of Optina (1768-1841).

Do not pay attention to the one who is already advanced in years, but to the one who is adorned with spiritual knowledge, deeds and experience, so that instead of benefit, you will not receive harm to strengthen your passions.
Saint Isaiah († 370).

With great care and deliberation, try to find a husband who infallibly preceded you in your way of life, knew how to lead those marching to God well, was adorned with virtues, in his own deeds had evidence of his love for God, was versed in the Divine Scriptures, not ...

Famous confessors.

I want to warn you that finding a good confessor is not easy. However, you need to look for it. This can be done in several ways. The most reliable and fastest...

We start the search for a confessor with confession and prayer

Very often people, faced with life's problems, try to solve them, relying only on their own mind, life experience or on the advice of friends. A church person will go to confession to the priest, repent, undergo the rite of communion and kneel before the Lord in prayer. But it is even better if there is a spiritual mentor next to the person. However, to meet it, you need to go through a certain path of growth.

To begin with, let us recall the words of Christ himself about who should be our teacher: “The scribes and Pharisees sat on the seat of Moses; so whatever they tell you to observe, observe and do; do not do according to their deeds, for they speak and do not do: they bind burdens that are heavy and unbearable and lay them on the shoulders of people, but they themselves do not want to move them with a finger; also love the first place at dinner parties and the first seats in synagogues and greetings in popular assemblies, and for people to call them: teacher! teacher! And you don't...

– Father, tell me, why is spiritual guidance needed for a person who comes to the Church, and what should it consist of?

– Spiritual life needs to be learned, and this is perhaps the most important study in our world, without which our entire society is doomed. See what godlessness has brought us to, the refusal to live according to the commandments. It is no coincidence that in the middle of the century our world stood on the verge of death and a nuclear catastrophe, precisely in those years when they promised on TV that they would soon “show the last priest.” And now terrorism, satanic hatred, the degradation of our village - all this has single root ascending to the destruction of that continuity in spiritual experience, without which we cannot live normally. This not only pushes a person away from salvation in eternal life, but also destroys our momentary social life.

The task of spiritual teaching is precisely to restore and strengthen the tradition of transmitting, preserving and multiplying spiritual experience. The importance of this ministry speaks…

Priest Alexy Uminsky answers the question

– When a novice comes to church, sooner or later the question arises of choosing a confessor. Of course, in any church you can find a good priest, but how do you know that this particular priest is suitable for the role of your personal spiritual father? How does the relationship between a confessor and a spiritual child arise?

– It seems to me that one should not be afraid to choose the “wrong” confessor, because the choice occurs gradually, over the course of life. Especially, at first, people can change the parish depending on how convenient it is for them, and, in a sense, it is pleasant to pray in the temple. And this gives them the opportunity for spiritual advancement.

The confessor is determined not just by human sympathies, although this also affects, first of all, the choice of a person. After all, we are used to making choices based on our ideas about beauty, including spiritual beauty, education, and behavioral style. It is normal when a person approaches a priest with whom it is easier for him ...

Hegumen Peter (Meshcherinov): What should be the confessor? In my opinion, there are two criteria:

1. A priest must perceive a person who comes to him as equal to him before God. This does not mean familiarity or familiarity, but it means that a priest cannot have a “top-down” relationship with a person.

2. The priest must “see” this particular person, and give him advice, based, firstly, on the experience of his Christian life (which implies that this life is truly correct, and not the one that the priest himself considers correct ); and secondly, from the external and internal situation of a person, and not from some of his abstract ideas about Christianity and people, so as not to drive a person into some kind of general “scheme”.

In other words: love, respect for a person, and - not to think about myself that I (the priest) is “higher”, “more significant”, “I have the right” to teach categorically, or something of the same kind.

If you have found such happiness, close your eyes to others ...

Why do we need a confessor, what is his role?
—To be a Christian, to live according to the commandments of God today is very difficult without familiarizing with the experience of other people. And religious experience, first of all, is contained in the church tradition. And the bearers of this tradition are the clergy, whose most important function is shepherding. And I want to emphasize that priests can be different people: smart, stupid, educated, uneducated, but all of them must be aware of themselves as those who help people to join the essence of church tradition. The task of a priest as a confessor is to help a person learn to comprehend his life in a Christian way. After all, the majority of people, as a rule, do not have serious experience in understanding themselves, and even more so in evaluating themselves in terms of the canonical principles of morality. A confessor is called upon to help a person learn to express his thoughts and feelings, including at confession, to help a person learn to evaluate himself from the point of view of church tradition. Summarizing, let's say that...

Hello, father! In the past I led a very vicious life, drank a lot, was addicted to hard drugs, fornicated, fornicated, worked as a swindler (scammer), assisted in the murder of my child - these are just a small part of my exploits. The Lord enlightened me, I was very close, nose to nose, faced with the enemy of the human race, I almost died, and through this I came to faith. For the past three years I have been going to church, periodically (1-2 times a year) I break down, I start drinking, I drink for a month, sometimes two, then I get up, repent, I start to pray again, go to services, participate in the Sacraments. During the neophyte period, I thought everything, life changed forever, only forward to the Lord, and not a step back. Now I do not believe in my strength at all, I am confused. I understand that a spiritual mentor is needed, but where can I find one, and how can I ask a priest to become my confessor? I live in Korolyov, for the second year I go to the Holy Trinity Church, I really like your sermons, and I perfectly understand how busy you are, but maybe you can tell me ...