Vulnerable point #1. They are afraid to be funny
A man is a vulnerable being to a much greater extent than a woman. Almost every man harbors a boy, a kind of Peter Pan, who is not averse to playing with life and women. Peter Pan pretended to be a very important person, although he loved to mock and set everyone up. But when they "played" with him, and he could not control the situation, Peter became furious. So any man, more than anything else, is afraid to seem ridiculous - because this means non-recognition of his viability.
Advice for women: Be careful with ridicule in a male address. In no case should they touch on his appearance, intimate opportunities, members of his family, his ability to earn money ... The list goes on.
Vulnerable point #2. They don't want to "dance to the tune"
If a beloved woman tries to act as a "commander", this is perceived as violence against the innermost essence of a man (he already has enough commanders) and can completely discourage him from communicating with such a woman further.
That is why, by the way, many men do not like to give flowers to those with whom they have already strengthened relationships. It seems to them that in this way a certain stereotype of behavior is imposed on them, they are "led on a leash", forced to fulfill all the expectations placed on them. This changeable and freedom-loving male nature does not tolerate.
Advice for women: Change stereotypes of behavior, say less "everyone does it", "it's supposed to", try to be unpredictable.
Vulnerable point #3. They hate talking about their health
Men rarely go to doctors, avoid treatment if possible, "pull to the last". The reason is simple - they are afraid of pain. In life, they do not have to endure as much as women. Some births are worth something! And therefore, a man is less ready for physical suffering and is simply lost in front of them.
And even more so, a man will not discuss his problems with a woman he likes! Pity, sympathy and other similar feelings, which are sometimes synonymous with love for the fair sex, are not inherent in male nature.
Advice for women: You can discuss the problems of men's health only with your husband, and even then only offer him positive ways out of the situation. If a man is just looking after you, it is better not to talk about his health.
Vulnerable point number 4. They don't tolerate showdowns.
Here lies the largest watershed between female and male nature - the fair sex loves to talk "for life"! Men prefer actions to words. They are generally not very capable of analyzing their feelings. They rely on instinct, impulse. Therefore, long conversations about "how you really feel about me" can cause irritation and even a break.
Advice for women: Wash the bones of men with girlfriends. And do not drag your man into a showdown.
Vulnerable point number 5. They get pissed off about being "pushed"
A man in love strives primarily for the result. For him, intimate relationships are the best proof of a woman's feelings. And so he perceives any flirting as an invitation to action.
If it turns out that it was just a game or a joke - do not expect mercy. Having received a refusal, he will try to “hang” all the “dogs” on you, accuse you of all possible shortcomings in order to convince himself that the loss was not great. True, the enthusiasm with which he is doing this will indicate just the opposite. You can still replay everything, but he will not forgive your second “dynamo”.
Advice for women: Try to play along with him, because it costs you nothing! He wants you to make excuses, prove your uniqueness and irresistibility.
Reading time: 2 min
Self-love is an overestimation of one's strengths, combined with a zealous attitude towards one's own personality and expressed by a strong sensitivity to opinions about oneself. Self-love is noted in each individual, however, it is expressed in varying degrees. Overly proud individuals are overly sensitive to criticism and are incredibly worried when they are denied something. Infringed pride can develop into a fully conscious or unconscious revenge.
Wounded pride
Each of the individuals is a person, represents something, has unique character traits and worldview. This is an absolute and indisputable fact. And yet human psychology includes some points that unite all people. These features include pride, which is one of the characteristics of human nature.
Is selfishness good or bad? Psychologists give such a meaning to self-esteem: the individual's defense of his social value, as well as relevance. In other words, pride determines such a character trait, thanks to which an individual becomes smarter, more attractive, grows above himself, maintains value in society.
Is self-love a good incentive to improve your life? Everyone will answer this question for himself. Some are inclined to believe that pride is good, others that it is an illusion of one's own superiority, leading to hyperbolization of one's own "I". One thing is clear that each individual has his own personal motivation and without respect, as well as self-love, intellectual, spiritual and physical growth. And negative statements, judgments, indications of shortcomings negatively affect the personality, hurting pride.
Each individual reacts to criticism differently: someone has a feeling of guilt, someone becomes aggressive, someone has low self-esteem, someone is very annoyed, but in any case, criticism does not go unnoticed and strikes at self-esteem .
Not everyone can adequately accept criticism due to their individual characteristics and character traits, but it is important to be able to correctly perceive constructive comments. If it so happened that an unreasonable offense was inflicted on a person, then psychologists advise accepting it as a fait accompli, drawing conclusions and moving on in life.
Man is very susceptible to social approval. When he is praised, he grows in his own eyes, when criticized, then vice versa. Proud, builds a certain scale of values in his head and tries to achieve it with all his might. It is good when a person strives for goals that are useful for himself and society, and it is destructive behavior when an individual deliberately takes the path of degradation. It must be remembered that self-love itself acts as a catalyst for actions and desires, but not the main cause.
It is sometimes very easy to offend a proud person. All it takes is one word. In this case, there is a heightened self-esteem, when a person exclusively focuses on satisfying his needs and desires, by and large, he is indifferent to those around him. Such excessive conceit leads to self-centeredness.
The desire to be the first is attributed to normal, healthy pride. Physically and Mentally healthy man always endowed with this quality. In this case, it is the motivation for professional and personal success.
Vulnerable pride is noted in women, so you should not intentionally offend them, because you can lose them forever good relationship. Women react strongly to comments about appearance, way of thinking, behavior. In adulthood, they are especially sensitive to words of flattery and compliments, so it is sometimes better to remain silent than to tell a lie. For the fair sex, it is important to feel calm and comfortable, so it is better to refrain from bluntly expressing shortcomings. If such a need exists, then it is better to express it in private. At the same time, hurt pride will not suffer much, and you will maintain normal relationships.
Wounded pride
In wounded pride, the bad thing is that the individual perceives critical remarks in his address painfully, and begins to treat people with suspicion. It is very difficult for a proud individual to learn to control himself and competently perceive criticism in his address. No matter how mild the criticism is presented, it is always difficult for people to perceive, and often individuals take it too close to their hearts, especially if the critic is unskilled or the criticism is not constructive. Not very many people know the art of constructive criticism, so it is doubly hard and painful to perceive it.
How is it correct to respond to criticism, if it so happened that the individual became its object? If a person has been criticized, then, first of all, he should convince himself that he really has something to criticize him for, otherwise he will behave aggressively. At the same time, if a person recognizes the right of other individuals to criticize him, then he can also count on the recognition of certain rights for him. For example, the right to be reckoned with, not to humiliate his dignity, not to extend criticism to the individual. Also, the individual has the right to demand that criticism be made only in private conversation and not in the presence of strangers and colleagues.
Here are some tips on how a person should behave in such a situation:
If the essence of criticism is not clear, then it is necessary to ask the person who criticizes to clarify what he specifically means;
It is important for a person to learn to separate the content of criticism from the form, if a person is not satisfied with the form, then one can answer this way: “criticism is fair - I admit this, but I wanted it not to become personal”;
If a person does not agree with the criticism, then he should say so, mentioning, at the same time, expressions that emphasize that this point of view is his. For example, “I personally think differently” or “it was not like that”;
Maintain eye contact at all times and speak in an undrooping, cheerful voice without raising your tone.
What does self-love mean? Wounded sick pride is not just an awareness of personal negative aspects of one’s character, it is also a defensive reaction of the EGO to internal problems, as well as feedback on the world. As a result, with wounded pride, there is resentment against those people who inflicted it. Insulted pride is not a character trait, but acts, as already mentioned, a defensive reaction of the person who was offended. Often such an individual becomes immune to criticism, becomes inadequate and incapable of introspection. This happens because the EGO of the individual builds a strong shell around its painful core, which is felt like dull pain aching in the soul. The provoking factors in this case are the lack of love, dissatisfaction with life, dissatisfaction with the reaction of others and with oneself. The constant does not allow a person to fully live. Pointing out a lack or expressing criticism to a person with heightened self-esteem only provokes him, and the result of such painful self-esteem is inadequate behavior.
Male pride
A blow to pride offends any person, but in comparison with women's pride in men, it is more aggravated, as a result of which they become unpredictable, uncontrollable and inadequate. In order not to offend male pride in family life a woman needs to learn how to smooth out sharp corners, be able to yield, not touch pain points. It also does not hurt to find out what often annoys men the most, as well as what women's actions they cannot forgive at all.
For many women, the feeling of some kind of impunity is perceived as the right to say and do whatever they want, as well as to achieve their goals by any means. loving man can forgive a woman a lot if it does not go beyond certain limits. When one day such an often complaisant and gentle man ceases to be controllable, he greatly surprises his beloved half. Therefore, it is very important for a woman in a relationship to maintain a certain line that cannot be crossed under any circumstances. So what will a man never forgive? Male pride will be very much hurt by female betrayal, which will be very difficult for a man to forgive. Own infidelity with women's infidelity for men is not comparable. They do not attach importance to their betrayal, since they attribute it to a simple need for intimacy. After the betrayal, they continue to consider their woman the most dear. But with female infidelity, everything is different. Often female adultery is not accidental and in most cases there is sympathy, passion, search, as well as the need for affection and tenderness. By cheating, a woman makes it clear to her man that her relationship with him means nothing to her. In the case of betrayal, male pride suffers very much and, even if a man forgives, then he is unlikely to be able to ever forget the fact of betrayal and the relationship will no longer be the same as it was before.
Men cannot forgive women if they assign themselves a dominant role in relationships, and also put themselves above them. Whatever a man is, he wants to feel himself in charge and be a protector, as well as a support. A man wants to feel more confident, stronger, even if a woman earns more and knows how to make decisions, as well as implement them. A woman should spare male pride and not take on the role of mistress of the situation in everything. Sooner or later, a man will not withstand the moral burden, will oppose this and leave for the one with whom he will be confident and strong.
To maintain a relationship with a man, a woman should never compare him with others. He wants to be the best and only for a woman, so comparison with others humiliates him, gives rise to complexes and irritation that can get out of control.
A woman should not emphasize her role as a mistress in the house and aloud express her husband's shortcomings, as well as the advantages of other men. In order not to hurt the pride of a man, it is necessary not to demonstrate your mind and knowledge to the detriment of the image of your beloved man.
Men also do not like attempts to manipulate intimate relationships. Rejecting intimacy under the false pretext of headaches and fatigue is one way to push a man to cheat. And to demand for intimacy the fulfillment of whims, gifts and thus manipulate looks dishonorable.
After getting married, many women relax and try to look good just before they leave the house. Over time, the husband wonders why the wife no longer wants to please him? Even if he does not show the view, it is necessary not to forget about it.
How to hurt male pride? Male pride can be greatly hurt when a man is put in a funny light, and for him this means not recognizing his worth. Women should be careful when making fun of men. This is especially true of intimate opportunities, members of his family, appearance, ability to earn money.
Men do not want to “dance to the tune of a woman”, they do not tolerate clichés and monotony in behavior, they cannot tolerate a commanding tone from a woman. These listed moments can forever discourage the male from communicating with women. Male nature will not tolerate an imposing stereotype of behavior, and will not try to fulfill all the expectations.
In order not to offend male vanity, a woman needs to change behavior patterns, say less “it’s supposed to”, “everyone does it that way”, but try to be unpredictable. Men do not tolerate a showdown, they prefer actions to words and rely on impulse, instinct, and long conversations cause irritation and can lead to a break. Therefore, women should not involve a man in a showdown.
A man will never tolerate flirting of his chosen one with another man. Such behavior of a woman will anger a man, and pride will be greatly hurt.
How else to hurt male pride? There are some other habits of women that greatly annoy men. These include endless telephone conversations, endless TV shows, a thirst for gossip, aimless shopping trips, and the habit of buying everything in a row. Men turn a blind eye to many things and try not to focus attention, and also not to notice, but this should not be abused. It is necessary to be able to stop in time, and also think about whether the husband should get on his nerves, bring him to irritation, indignation and displeasure. To maintain peace and tranquility in the family, as well as for a man to respect and love a woman, it is necessary to respect and spare his pride.
Women's pride
The self-esteem of women is so often unreasonably high that it can be offended by anything and the fair sex immediately turns into a disgusting creature. A woman with hurt pride begins to sting, splurge, offend the words of the interlocutor. Often the behavior of a woman is not controlled and she is not aware of what she is doing. From given state very difficult to get rid of. A woman is haunted by a desire for revenge and anger in her eyes. Minor grievances and reticence provoke an increase in tension in relationships and worsen interpersonal relationships. Therefore, in order to maintain a trusting, sincere, happy relationship, a woman needs to overcome, no matter how difficult it is, hurt pride.
Psychologists note that a blow to pride is easily dealt by male adultery. Not all women can look past the numerous male infidelities. And no matter how experts try to explain the reasons for male infidelity, to show the driving motives so that women do not react so emotionally and painfully to it, nothing happens.
Psychologists note that infidelity occurs due to the weakening of emotional ties between spouses, and it makes the hidden conflict obvious. According to statistics, it is a woman who in many cases initiates a divorce today. Women's pride pushes for such a decisive step. Before a divorce, a woman decides for herself what is more important for her: personal pride or endurance, love, patience for a person who until recently was close and dear. Often women are indignant: why do psychologists urge them to endure after their husband's betrayal?! It turns out that the wife should, meeting her husband from work, be charming, feed delicious dinners, provide leisure and also take care of the children.
And if the spouse suddenly finds out about the betrayal, then she needs to calm down, tune in to a neutral wave, visit the hairdresser, sing trendy songs, keep an eye on her wardrobe in order to remind her of her attractiveness. In such a situation, not every woman wants and can behave this way. Therefore, most women choose divorce. At the same time, many women are outraged by the fact that psychologists do not call on a husband who has learned about his wife's infidelity to take care of household chores, try to regain his attractiveness, give gifts to his wife and capture her mood. As if on purpose, the wives believe, the difference between male and female psychology is emphasized.
Undoubtedly, it is necessary to take into account male psychology in family life, since nature endowed the representatives of the stronger sex with emotional stability, will, and all methods on the part of women for re-education often face resistance. Many wives would do well to use the ability to adapt, patience and affection, and not go ahead. Many husbands do not withstand the pressure in this situation, and betrayal is often an infantile attempt at self-assertion in the eyes of another woman. And if the unfaithful spouse begins to be reproached for immorality, selfishness, then it is only possible to push him away completely. Of course, both with a stranger and with one's self-esteem one must reckon with and not allow it to play out to the heightened limits. Therefore, perhaps, nature endowed women with artistry, spiritual subtlety, deep cordiality, the ability to see with the soul, understand, regret and empathize.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Each man's developmental history is unique, and it is in his past that secrets are hidden that can affect how easily a man can survive criticism or attacks on his self-esteem. Most men are not ready to endure women's nagging. And if they do not leave the family, then they leave love. Instead of showing love to their wife, they would rather spend time in the garage, in the company of friends or at a football match. Leaving love is not always physical, at times it is a departure into some type of virtuality, a departure to another world where his woman is forbidden to enter. It can be computer games, alcohol, romance on the side or casino games.
In order to understand what is more important for a man: hurt pride or love, take a closer look at the relationships in his family. If the parents found fault with their son too much, set too high standards, he can, even in adulthood, subconsciously look for a wife who will not put him in a penny. Men who are able to forgive their wife or lover their hurt pride are often incapable of accepting unconditional love.
Unconditional love is an important foundation for healthy family relationships. This is the highest type of love, almost an art, which, unfortunately, few people own. How often do we hear from parents: "If you get a deuce, don't come home." Or: "You have to try, my son cannot finish second in the competition." These words can hurt any, even the most stable psyche. And when such a person becomes an adult, even hating such phrases, he can unconsciously look for a partner who will also pronounce them to him. Only the conditions that must be met in order to earn love change. “Don’t come home without a salary,” the wife says to such a husband. And then wonders why he doubts her love.
Thus, we can clearly distinguish unconditional love from conditional love. Unconditional love does not require any effort to maintain, it does not have to be earned. If a woman loves a man unconditionally, she accepts him for who he is. Sick or healthy, rich or poor, affectionate or irritated. He does not try to remake him, re-educate him, not set conditions. If the wife constantly blackmails her husband with various conditions, criticizes him, destroying his self-esteem and pride, we are dealing with conditional love.
I must say that all people strive for the best. And if a woman notices signs of a mentor or a critic in herself, she should think about changing her point of view on relations with her beloved man. Even a man from a troubled family, accustomed to conflicts and constant criticism, may at one point realize that he is tired of all this. And then the relationship may come to an end.
It is not for nothing that a number of men "see the light" at the age of forty. They leave their wives for "young fools" who look at them with their mouths open. Unconditional adoration, respect for authority for a man is more important than any established relationship in which a woman is too critical of him.
A woman who wants to avoid such problems with her husband should think about how she talks to him, in what tone she expresses approval or criticism, in what form she declares requests. That is why men often react irritably to rather harmless, at first glance, requests? Because often, when asking to go to the store and buy potatoes, men hear a reproach that he does not take care of the family enough. And the hurt pride of a man is a bad base for family relationships.
There are two fairly simple communication techniques that will help you avoid problems with male ego.
Firstly, psychologists recommend giving compliments instead of criticism. After all, there is nothing difficult in that instead of: "Take out the trash can", say: "When you take out the trash, I feel in seventh heaven from happiness / weak / desired / loved." Improvisations on this topic may not work, so first write out all your standard requests to your husband on a piece of paper and reformulate them not as a request or demand, but as a compliment.
Self-esteem is a sense of self-worth associated with excessive attention to one's person.
A proud man is one who is “confident” in himself and demands demonstration of this confidence from others.
The paradox lies in the fact that a narcissist in every possible way shows self-admiration, confidence, but, demanding confirmation from the surrounding people of this, demonstrates low self-esteem. This is what proud men often "fire on."
So, a wise woman will always see the weak point of a man and, if necessary, can play with it.
If you have a desire to play with male pride, hurt him a little or as much as possible, the following tips will certainly help.
Decide on motivation
Naturally, a woman will not hurt the male ego for no reason. It means that the man was guilty somewhere, did not please something. He did not please so that he wants to punish. But!Before transgressing to immediate revenge, it is worth considering your motivation and the consequences, which, I assure you, will be. Such an analysis should be based on your attitude towards the personality of a man and the desire to build a relationship with him.
If a man is dear to you, you love him and want to be together, then the options to hurt his pride will be different than in the case when a woman is not particularly interested in a man and she does not plan to continue a relationship with him.
If a man is loved, then NEVER use his pain points as revenge. In the case of low male self-esteem, this can lead to a break in relations instantly.
The task of a woman is to help a man cultivate self-confidence, and not to crush her because of her resentment. The resentment will pass, but the male complex will remain. Your man "Thank you" for this will not say, and on the part of a woman it is unworthy.
If a woman is not interested in a man and is ready to part with him, then pressure on sore spot- just what the doctor ordered!
Ignore him
At all times, ignoring is considered the most in an efficient way hurt a man's ego.
If you want to gently convey to your beloved man: “You shouldn’t do this to me like you did, honey,” then turn on ignoring his basic needs. NOT PAINFUL POINTS, but other significant needs. Oh, you were rude to me in the morning, then I will not cook and wash clothes. Or talk to you for 3 days.
If you want to hurt a man who is not close and not beloved, then you can ignore it as much as possible. Do not answer phone calls or messages. Do not respond to requests and words at all.
The lack of feedback from a woman will hurt even the most impenetrable man.
But the maximum ignore is fraught, mainly, with parting. If you do not want to keep a man in your life - go for it! Men do not forget to ignore.
Compare with other men
No one likes to be compared with others, especially men. Especially if beloved women are compared with other men, hinting at a frank loss in favor of others.Comparisons with former or just other men are another effective ways hurt a man's ego.
Your friend Nikita has a cool haircut, but what is on your head, God forgive me?!
Make fun of him in bed
No man will miss a joke about his sexuality and ability to please a woman. If you want to hurt his pride, you can ridicule his manhood, penis size, some technical skills.In 99.9% of cases of such jokes, this will be your last sex with him, but you will complete the task of hurting him.
Ignore his care
A man who is interested in a woman will take care of her. Both verbal and material. He will try in every possible way to help her solve some problem, cope with an important matter, etc.Men do it instinctively, trying to show a woman their attitude and favor towards her.
If you begin to neglect his help, ridicule any attempts to solve something, or humiliate his ability to provide for you, the man will be hurt.
Self-love is most often considered a negative quality that a person should not have if he wants to live in harmony with the people around him. At the same time, self-love becomes that part of the personality that many do not show, which is why they turn into victims that are used and manipulated. Self-love can be both positive and negative. It is inherent in both sexes (female and male), and also often becomes hurt or wounded.
What is self-love?
Self-love is for yourself. However, often self-love becomes so great that a person overestimates himself, his own capabilities, puts himself above others, and always has a negative attitude towards criticism from others. With overestimated pride, they talk about narcissism, when criticism of another person greatly offends the individual and even makes you think about revenge.
When a reader of a psychological help site does not love himself, here are unequivocal tips on how to develop love for yourself. But when a person sincerely loves himself, here you can encounter misunderstanding and even censure from others. “To love yourself” in the eyes of many seems like a vice.
To determine the quality of self-love, it is necessary to move away from public opinion, which often judges only from the position of what is beneficial to it. Self-esteem is the ability to highly and positively assess one's own qualities, combined with increased sensitivity and jealousy to the opinions of other people in one's address. When does it become a vice, and when is it a virtue?
Self-love should mean adequate. Man understands own virtues and shortcomings, is engaged in self-development, when something wants to improve in itself. Shows love and respect for self. In the case of healthy self-esteem, we are talking about the fact that a person does not impose his love for himself on other people. He allows others to decide how to treat him, while his opinion of himself does not change. Despite the fact that a person is focused on a positive opinion from other people, it should be understood that he does not depend on their point of view, but simply takes into account.
Self-love in the format of healthy self-love is manifested in the fact that a person appreciates and respects himself. He wants to build strong relationships with others, respectively, he understands the importance of listening to the desires and views of close and important people. If they evaluate him negatively, then he is interested in the reasons. At the same time, his love for himself does not disappear, does not transform, self-esteem does not fall, and respect for the opinions of others is preserved.
A proud person is busy in all areas of life that are considered important and necessary. In the case of unhealthy self-esteem, an overestimated self-esteem is manifested, combined with dissatisfaction and a passionate desire to hear only a positive opinion about oneself. Here, too, a person shows love for himself. But he considers everyone who does not love him as much as he loves himself to be his enemies, later turning to aggressiveness and committing unpleasant acts against them. Thus, a person loves himself, but imposes given love other people. Everyone who does not evaluate him as he wishes, considers them to be his enemies, who must be punished, humiliated, insulted in the same way as they did.
Friendship and love with a narcissistic person with an unhealthy tinge is often built on the ability of partners to flatter, fawn, agree, speak pleasant words. A person rejects everyone who does not show love to him and does not elevate his ego. It is about the constant need to admire and agree with the narcissist. In the absence of these actions, a person goes into an aggressive state when he wants to different ways to harm the pride and self-esteem of a partner who did not appreciate him.
There is nothing wrong with self-love until it starts to become extreme. Adequate self-love is manifested in a constant attitude towards oneself and others, and unhealthy - in the need to maintain one's image, which often falls apart when a person fails.
Wounded pride
Each person is a unique, autonomous, separate and individual being. Perhaps no one will argue with this fact. Each person has the right to be the way nature created him, raised his parents and he grew up as a result. But at the same time, all people are part of society. To communicate with other people, a person must be interesting, attractive, the best. All this is possible with the right positioning of yourself.
Psychologists define self-esteem as a character trait that pushes a person to positively evaluate himself and make others believe in the same. This trait encourages a person to behave in such a way that in the eyes of others he seems the most intelligent, attractive, interesting and valuable.
Perhaps there is not a single person who would like not to communicate with anyone, not to receive love, respect and recognition. To achieve all this, you need to be able to create the value of your own personality in the eyes of others. If this is achieved, then the self-esteem of a person increases significantly.
- If other people praise, love, respect and show sympathy for a person, he understands his own value even more, continues to develop and improve himself spiritually.
- If other people constantly criticize, humiliate and insult, then he develops hurt pride. Depending on how a person treats himself, his wounded pride pushes him to revenge or even more humiliation of himself.
Criticism is quite common among people. Nobody can get away from her. But the question is: how do you personally react to it? Each person has a different response to criticism:
- Someone is crying after her.
- She humiliates someone.
- Some people don't pay attention at all.
- For some, it becomes a pretext for unleashing a war.
- And someone accepts and even agrees with it.
There are many options for how a person reacts to criticism. Depending on self-esteem and upbringing, a person reacts to external criticism in his own way. But with excessive narcissism, criticism always becomes very painful.
The fact is that a person who overestimates himself, in fact, understands that all this is a hoax. Lies are meant for other people to believe and confirm. feedback. If there is criticism (negative assessment of what the narcissist wanted to present as something valuable and cool), he is upset. He wanted to “splurge”, but it didn’t work out. Depending on the awareness of the individual, he either understands that he made a mistake, changes his behavior and even engages in self-improvement, or becomes angry with his critics, begins to reproach and insult them himself, think about revenge.
Criticism is not pleasant to anyone, because it always indicates that a person has negative or weak sides of his personality. Psychologists offer the following solution to the problem: if you have been criticized with which you do not agree, then put up with its presence and forget it, continue to live on. You don't have to live the way other people tell you to. If you are happy with yourself, then you are free to be and act as you want.
Wounded pride is explained by the natural desire of any person to be the first, main, most attractive in all plans. The greater the desire of this kind in a person, the more acutely he reacts to criticism. The pride of those who wanted to seem better than they really are is hurt. It is impossible to criticize people who understand that they are imperfect and have come to terms with their own imperfection.
Women react sharply to criticism. For them, hurt pride becomes a very common occurrence. We are talking about appearance, which often people around evaluate and sometimes make unflattering remarks. Any woman wants to be beautiful in the eyes of other people, especially men. If the appearance of a woman is criticized, then you should be prepared for the fact that the interlocutor will react negatively to this. No lady wants to know that she is bad at something. She wants to receive extremely positive feedback. Therefore, if you have nothing to say to a woman about her virtues, it is better to remain silent so as not to cause additional quarrels.
Wounded pride
Wounded pride is a common occurrence for any person. Since absolutely everyone is faced with criticism addressed to them, sooner or later they come across such interlocutors who, in their own words, arouse suspicion, a negative attitude, and aggression. No matter how well you react to criticism, it hurts. Therefore, it should be understood that criticism is natural for all people.
If you are criticized, which is natural for any living person, you just have to respond correctly to the words of others so that they do not hurt you once again:
- Accept the right to be criticized. Don't fight her. Don't try to prove people wrong. Accept the right that other people may think of you the way they already do. In this case, you can afford the right to demand to express your opinion in a private conversation, not to shout at you during the expression of criticism, to justify your opinion, etc.
- Clarify what the interlocutor who expresses criticism means if it is not clear to you.
- Ask the other person to change the tone and wording of the criticism that you agree with. However, you are uncomfortable with how it sounds or is pronounced.
- Maintain eye contact, keep your voice calm, confident.
- If you do not agree with the criticism, then you have the right to declare this: "I do not agree with your words ... I think otherwise ...".
Self-esteem becomes wounded when a person actually understands that he is not as perfect as he thinks about himself or how he tries to show it to other people. Wounded pride is a psychological defense that is aimed at protecting oneself from tragedies and blaming other people for everything.
Male pride
Men's pride suffers no less than women's. When male pride is hurt, even the most docile and calm man turns into an aggressive, uncontrollable and inadequate person. Until a man pours out all his anger on the offender, it will be almost impossible to stop him. And the offenders are often the women themselves.
It's very easy to hurt a man's pride:
- Put yourself above him.
- Show your mind, proving his stupidity.
- a man.
- Cheating on a man or flirting with other gentlemen.
- Stop taking care of yourself.
- Constantly criticize and insult a man, especially in the presence of other people.
Often women feel their own impunity, even when committing physical violence against men. Men are not allowed to beat women, but women, it turns out, can. Because of this, women often go beyond what is permitted, which is why they expose men as a laughingstock.
If a man believes that he is put in a bad light, insulted and humiliated, his pride will be hurt.
Women's pride
A woman also has self-esteem, and often overestimated. If someone speaks unflatteringly about her appearance, then she is ready to rip out the eyes of this person. And if someone doubts her maternal abilities, then she is ready to tell herself how bad this person is in relation to his children.
Men often hurt women's pride, commenting on appearance, sexual or household skills. Also offends men. Here, many women definitely begin to behave aggressively, inadequately, think about revenge.
Outcome
Self-esteem is sometimes an inflated opinion of oneself. It is about how a person would like to be and how he tries to appear in the eyes of others, while he himself is not. When the deception is revealed, one wants to humiliate this "accuser" in response to show that he is also not perfect.