Being fired is one of the hardest experiences you can face in your career. As an acting coach, I have personally witnessed the shock, grief, and anxiety that comes with it. Being fired can bring on helplessness and self-doubt in the form of a frightening loss of control and the voice of a merciless inner critic - especially if your colleagues have kept their jobs.
Your perception determines how successfully you move to next step your career and life. Although being fired temporarily knocks the rug out from under your feet, it won't ruin your career if you learn how to control how you feel about what happened.
In working with senior executives who have been laid off, I have watched some of them pull themselves together, move forward and finally succeed, while others get stuck in a cycle of anger and self-blame. Destructive thought patterns keep them in a morass of failure, making them unable to regain ground under their feet and decide on the future. Below, I offer three ways to quiet your inner critic, increase your resilience, and stay productive after a layoff.
Keep a positive attitude. To bounce back from failure, stop replaying the same thing over and over in your head. It adds more problems than helps to solve them. The way you think affects recovery after a layoff. I will give as an example the stories of two 50-year-old men with whom I worked. Let's call them Owen and Bob.
Owen took the news of his dismissal hard, although it was the result of a merger of organizations and was not based on the results of his work. He kept blaming himself, wondering, “How could I not see where this is going? I'm not fit for science and I'll never get another job in my fifties." Instead of contemplating future plans, Owen spent time self-torturing and randomly looking through vacancies, becoming more and more upset. When Owen came to see me a few months after being fired, he was barely out of bed in the morning. He could not get rid of self-criticism, constantly blaming himself for losing his job, while some colleagues kept it - and as a result, he slipped into depression.
Bob also survived the dismissal, but acted differently. After the initial shock of the news, he updated his resume and LinkedIn page to show that he was looking for a job and began to systematically build connections with his audience. Despite worries about temporary unemployment, he constantly reminded himself, "I have marketing skills, and now is the right opportunity to take advantage of to explore your career opportunities." Within a few weeks, Bob found potential job opportunities. More than thirty of his acquaintances agreed to help find a job.
The key difference between Owen's and Bob's stories is not that one feels better after being fired than the other. Initially, both were equally upset by the loss of their jobs. But, unlike Owen, Bob focused on controlling the situation and did not engage in constant self-criticism.
Don't let negative thoughts take over. After being fired, it's perfectly normal to find yourself in the grip of anger and self-deprecation, and these feelings can settle in your head for a long time. Being aware of the feelings that come with being fired is important, but it's also important to pay attention to what you say to yourself and determine if your feelings are helping or hindering your goals. By questioning your inner critic, you can stop the self-blame cycle that is holding you back.
Here are a few examples of common negative thoughts, paired with questions you can ask yourself to keep your eyes peeled for the future.
Thought:"I could have done more and prevented being fired."
Question:“What reason do you have to believe that I could have prevented the dismissal?”
Thought:“Firing will result in a loss of skills or some other handicap.”
Question:“Why am I sure that this will lead to a deterioration in my abilities?”
Thought:"I was unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Question:“What could have made my work unclaimed?”
Thought:"It's a misfortune from which I can never recover."
Question:“What career opportunities am I currently free to explore?”
Shift your focus from disadvantages to advantages. Typically, when you lose your job, you try to figure out what you did wrong and ponder over all sorts of miscalculations. By focusing on your weaknesses, you are more likely to forget or minimize your strengths.
To replace a demotivating approach with a more positive one, take a look at your entire career. If you are just starting out, think back to your educational experience so far. The purpose of this exercise is to find out what professional and personal failures you have already experienced and what problems you have overcome on the way to your current position. Recall how you suffered from another difficult situation that you eventually overcame.
With this in mind, ask yourself the following questions.
- What strengths did you use to solve your problems?
- What have you learned about yourself in the process of overcoming problems?
- How can you use your strengths during this transitional phase of your career?
In resilience training developed by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania for the U.S. Army, participants teamed up and took on tough combat missions using their team skills. After being fired, you can use the same approach, looking back at situations where you have persevered in the past.
With the right mindset and active questioning, being fired is more likely to be an opportunity to succeed than to end in failure. The ability to determine your life course, choose the angle from which you look at the situation, and develop a conscious attitude towards your advantages are just a few of the unexpected benefits that await you after you have dealt with the baggage of anger and frustration. As mine said former client, starting a new job: "I would have known, left without a job, that I would be so happy a year later."
In terms of intensity of passions, it is second only to divorce or the death of a loved one. Especially when it comes to layoffs.
Experts advise: try to leave with dignity, without insulting others and without destroying yourself. Your future life depends on how you behave during this difficult time.
Will in a fist!
There is a huge temptation to finally tell the authorities everything that you think about him. Or do something nasty: hide the necessary data, take with you the phone numbers of important customers, for some time paralyzing the work of the once native company.
Do not do that! Firstly, professional circle very narrow, and when your new boss calls the former, he is unlikely to find at least a couple of kind words addressed to you. Secondly, if you want your boss to really regret your dismissal, you need to act in exactly the opposite way.
Gather your will into a fist and on the last day say goodbye to him warmly, saying the kindest words. Maybe he will not call you back (which, by the way, is not excluded), but he will certainly give an excellent reference. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you've had up to this minute. As you know, the first and last words are most remembered.
Risk group
Losing a job often undermines a person's self-esteem. He has a feeling of resentment and a feeling of loss of control over life: “Why did they fire me?”, “Am I the worst employee?”, “I don’t decide anything in this life.” If you have such thoughts, you need to say to yourself: “Stop! Life is not only work. In such a difficult situation, it is much more constructive to ask another question - why did fate throw you such a test, what lessons can be learned from this?
Practice shows that most often people who lose their jobs have two opposite psychological attitudes. First of all, these are those who, imperceptibly for themselves, began to live by inertia, for whom work has not brought either moral or material satisfaction for a long time. But the poor fellow does not have the courage to put the application on the table himself. And every morning he goes to work, like hard labor. So fate throws him an unexpected solution to the problem - in the form of staff reductions or rotations leading to dismissal.
Oddly enough, people with a different attitude are at risk of losing their jobs - workaholics who identify their life with work, putting it in first place in the scale of life values. Often fate punishes for such one-sidedness. In addition, a too zealous employee often irritates the authorities: what if he turns out to be more professional than his management?
Vicious circle
Having lost his job, a person gets at his disposal great amount free time. Perhaps at first it even pleases: finally, you will be able to relax! But to relax for real, as a rule, does not work. And an unemployed person begins to experience the emptiness that has suddenly formed in his life. According to the observations of psychologists, such a situation is a breeding ground for the emergence of neurosis.
There is a kind of vicious circle: due to the fact that there is no work, you experience depression, and this, in turn, does not make it possible to find a job. If this condition lasts long enough, it can come not only to depression, but also to severe physical ailments. Psychiatrists often observe such an effect of “psychophysical wear and tear” not only among those who have lost their jobs, but also among those who have retired: an intensively working person suddenly begins to age rapidly, all sorts of sores begin to stick to him.
In order not to bring yourself to this, experts advise: the search for a new place should begin on the same day that you were informed of the dismissal. The more time passes after losing a job, the more difficult it will be to find one. Treat the dismissal as a test of strength, like an exam, passing which you will come to success.
The more action, the stronger the return.
And in order not to destroy yourself during the time “from work to work”, but at the same time relationships with friends and relatives, try to develop a clear strategy:
● Keep the old rhythm and routine of life. Get up, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time as before. If you are a man, be sure to shave every morning. If you are a woman, comb your hair and wear light makeup.
● Do something daily to find a job: surf the web, send out resumes, read job magazines, go to job interviews. A pattern has been noticed: if today you called not five, but ten companies, then tomorrow you will receive calls twice as many as in previous days.
● Use your free time to take care of your health. Do not watch TV until late, get enough sleep, do not drink coffee and strong tea, be sure to go outside every day. Visit a dentist, other doctors, take a course of treatment, if necessary. Do all the boring but necessary household chores that you never got around to doing before.
Don't shut yourself up
Unfortunately, often during a period of forced inactivity, a person’s relationships with loved ones deteriorate. At first, they sympathize with him, but as he closes, goes into depression, it begins to annoy others.
● Try not to switch off from family life: take on some duties that were previously performed by others, share your thoughts, discuss household problems.
● If friends invite you to visit, do not refuse, referring to Bad mood. Maybe just there you will meet someone who will help you find a job. Despite the progress in the field of employment (the Internet, recruiting agencies), they prefer to hire us, as before, “by acquaintance”.
● Do not neglect the offer of temporary work, continuing to look for a permanent one. If you perform well, it can become permanent.
● No one is immune from dramatic twists of fate. Even geniuses. The example of one of the players of the Madrid football club "Real" is widely known. A ridiculous car accident confined him to a wheelchair for a whole year. In the end, he managed to get on his feet, but had to say goodbye to a brilliant football career. “What to do? After all, apart from football, I can’t do anything!” - the former footballer was tormented. Friends advised him to try his hand at ... the singing genre. And they didn't fail. So the brilliant Julio Iglesias appeared to the world.
● No less significant is the story of another famous person. Before becoming famous in the literary field, he was ... an accountant. Everything changed when an unknown Mr. Porter was accused of embezzlement and landed in jail. From melancholy and hopelessness, he began to write stories. He came out of prison as a popular novelist, known under the pseudonym O "Henry.
7 right ways To lose a job
1. Have no plans.
2. Do not maintain at the proper level and do not update your skills and abilities.
3. Provide no results.
5. Surround yourself with sycophants.
6. Forget to give credit to others.
By the way
Layoff stress is more pronounced in men. Women are more resistant to the blows of fate and respond flexibly to a stressful situation. The loss of a job is very painful for people of retirement age, as well as those who step over “dangerous” age limits: the so-called age of first growing up (33-35 / 35-37 years) and mature age - 46-48 / 52-54.
The level of stress experienced also depends on the psychological type to which the person belongs. Temperamental, sociable people, although they perceive the news of dismissal hard, overcome a stressful situation relatively quickly. As a rule, two weeks are enough for them to get rid of stress. Another thing - people are phlegmatic, closed. Stress develops in them on the rise and stretches for a long period.
Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd/Rusmediabank.ru
Of course, being fired is the most unpleasant thing, but the right behavior can help you reach heights that you might not have dared to think about in your old job. Remember - everything can always be wrapped in your favor. The vision of a situation can change drastically depending on the angle from which you look at it.What to do?
The most important thing is not to succumb to the negative emotions that arise. Of course, it will be unpleasant, humiliating, insulting and even scary for you - but do not let all this absorb you, otherwise depression can attack like that. Negative emotions affect a person so badly that they often get really sick after depression. And there are no hopeless situations, so go ahead, to new beginnings! Who knows - maybe the old has outlived its usefulness and it's time to develop further, to achieve more?
Isn't it time to think?
Have you ever accidentally caught yourself thinking that it would be nice to change jobs? If what you've been doing hasn't been fun, maybe this is your chance to find your purpose?
By the way, are you already tired of working, working and not seeing anything but work? Pause, think about your life. Remember what you've always wanted. Did you go that way? If not, you have the opportunity to fix it! Relax, relieve stress, decide what you would like to do now, and even then take up the search new job. At the same time, the most important condition is not to feel sorry for yourself, not to cry about the lost and not to delay with. It’s nice to rest, but it’s addictive, so as soon as you regain your strength and morale, start acting.
By the way, why not think about opening own business? Sounds tempting? Or maybe you have dreamed about it before? Then, after dismissal, you can devote yourself entirely to your own offspring. After all, what could be better than that to work for yourself?
Have you learned your lesson?
This is another side of being fired. Lesson. Yes, yes, you heard right! Of course, it is quite possible that you were fired completely undeservedly, but you still have to endure something instructive. Somewhere you have made a mistake. Analyze your work, claims made against you, relationships with management and colleagues. Objectively evaluate everything, it is not in vain that they say that there is no smoke without fire. If it turns out that the problem is that you did not cope with your duties as you should, think about advanced training or retraining courses, study a foreign language. In a word, take care of yourself. And new skills will appear and improve, and you will get the opportunity to apply for a higher position.
Who seeks - he finds!
To find a job you will need:
;
transmittal letter.
Post your resume online, but don't be passive, don't wait to be called. Contact the employment service, walk, search, call, visit. Don't be afraid to ask why you were fired. Prepare a decent and truthful answer. The latter, by the way, is a prerequisite, because you can be checked by calling your old place of work.
Financial crisis?
What to do if there is no work yet, but there is no money? Reduce costs by comparing desires and opportunities, discard all unnecessary. Find a part-time job as a freelancer - translator, journalist. Who knows, maybe you will enjoy the free schedule so much that you will realize that you have found yourself. If not, you will earn extra money until a permanent job appears.
Or maybe you have an interesting hobby? It can also be turned into a source of income, and even realize oneself in it.
Remember:
Take care of yourself! Do not sit down on junk food, do not quit sports. should become daily and habitual! Keep yourself in shape for new beginnings!
If you feel sorrow or others negative emotions, remember all your achievements, those moments when you were pleased with yourself.
Do not engage in self-flagellation, this will only lead to a decrease in self-esteem and depression. Look at things realistically, just forgive yourself for what you were wrong about, and don't let it happen again.
Tell your entourage why you were fired. It's better than having false rumors reach them.
Do not fail to take advantage of someone's patronage, do not refuse help. Feel free to talk to people about your job search. The more friends you know about what is happening, the faster you will cope with the situation!
Do not limit your searches to only one area of activity. Do not be afraid to try something new - maybe there you will reach great heights.
When you get rejected, don't get discouraged and don't give up. The reason may not be in you, but in the fact that at the moment new employees are not required in this company. Never forget to leave a resume - who knows, maybe tomorrow someone decides to quit and they will immediately remember you?
An urgent problem for employees leaving work: how not to get upset, survive the dismissal and continue their professional and personal growth. To prepare for the end of an employment relationship, you need to know the signs of an impending dismissal, and in order to recover from it, it is important to realize your value as an employee.
Preparing to leave work
There is nothing worse than suddenly losing a job. Here is a list of signs that may indicate that a person wants to be fired:
- the subordinate is assigned fewer tasks;
- superiors rarely call to themselves (for criticism, or discussion of the work performed);
- some of the work is delegated to someone else.
As a rule, the last straw for many in this matter is the moment when a person finds on the Internet his position in his company, for which they are looking for an employee. Of course, after this, most begin to worry that they will soon have to say goodbye to the workplace.
What to do if you are threatened with dismissal?
If there are persistent suspicions that the boss will soon offer to leave the company, then you don’t need to go all out - go and deal with the boss, and also express everything that has accumulated during the work in your hearts.
This will only aggravate the situation, and the subordinate may lose a letter of recommendation, which can be important when looking for a new job. In addition, the director may have doubts about the dismissal, and the conflict will only push him to this.
If a person suspects that the contract will be terminated soon, then it is best to calm down and start looking for a job. In most cases, people manage to find a new place even before the moment they are told about the dismissal by their boss, you just need to start looking as soon as possible.
Advice! If there are guesses about the imminent departure from work, then you should not openly look for vacancies if everything suits you at work, and the person does not want to leave the company. If the manager finds out that the subordinate is looking for other options, he will decide that the person himself does not mind resigning, and is more likely to offer to write a statement.
In addition, the manager can terminate the contract with a person on his own initiative only if there are certain factors.
Under what circumstances can the boss himself terminate the contract:
- in the presence of disciplinary violations (absenteeism, lateness, and so on);
- if a person has committed theft of property;
- in case of inconsistency of the qualifications of the position held;
- when reducing.
If the director wants to stop the employment relationship, but one of the above circumstances is missing, then the person can sue him.
How to find a new job?
When people get laid off, some of them think it's hard to find a new job and become insecure. If the contract was terminated with a person, but he feels that he cannot cope, then you can attend advanced training courses, or find a job through an acquaintance. If the subordinate left peacefully, and he a good relationship with colleagues and superiors, you can learn about trainings and seminars that are held in the organization from which the employee was fired.
It is especially difficult to overcome depression for those who are 50 years old or older - many believe that because of their age they are unclaimed and will never find a job. In this case, it makes sense not only to go to advanced training courses, if possible, but also to a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you overcome this period in your life and convince yourself that all is not lost. In addition, you should not despair also because so many employers need experienced employees.
First of all, after the termination of the contract, you should not spend a lot of your nerves and spoil relations with colleagues or a former boss. If the director illegally terminated the contract, then it is better to go to court or labor inspection than wasting time on insults.
Advice! If the manager offers new vacancies, or write a letter of recommendation, you should not refuse, even if the relationship with the manager was bad. It is better to squeeze everything you can from your last job, as this will help you get a new one.
What should be done after dismissal? The most important thing is that you don’t need to get depressed and assume that a black streak has begun. Life consists not only of a career, but also of other equally important components - hobbies, friends, family. If complexes and self-doubt appear, it is better to take a short rest for a while, with severe depression it is better to immediately contact a psychotherapist. The emotional state is very important, as a person who has a breakdown is less likely to find a suitable place for himself.
If a dismissed subordinate decided to take a break, then this should not be delayed for a long time. You can take a break for 2 weeks, or a month, but then it’s better to start looking for a job, as some skills may be lost over a long period.
Also, you do not need to agree to the first place that will be offered if it does not suit the employee. In this case, you need to take a sober look at things - know what you want, and correlate your capabilities - the level of training, education, and so on.
Is it worth it to return if they call back?
It happens that the management calls the dismissed person back, but it is better not to agree to such proposals. Practice shows that even if an employee had a good relationship with the team and management, he still begins to trust the authorities less after the last dismissal. However, if the subordinate at the old job has better working conditions (and salary) and good relations with colleagues and the director, then you can return to the company.
WikiHow is a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. When creating this article, 15 people worked on editing and improving it, including anonymously.
Your boss invites you into the office, closes the door and says: "... we are not satisfied with the way you work in this position, so we have decided to leave. Release workplace and get paid in accounting." How to deal with this situation without dropping your dignity?
Steps
- Agree on how the employer will respond if you contact him for a recommendation. His safest answer is: "Yes, he worked for us, but our organization has a policy of non-disclosure of performance ratings."
- Ask for generous compensation. Demand vacation and sick pay, as well as compensation that you think they can accept - between a month's and three months' salary. You may not be paid as much as you ask, but this is a good start to negotiations.
- Ask your employer to extend the VHI for a certain period.
- Ask for help finding a new job. Some employers offer the services of employment firms. If not, ask which organizations you could recommend for finding work. Perhaps they have information about vacancies.
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Quit with dignity. Do not wait for the end of the working day - pack your things at the workplace and leave. If your colleagues stop you to say goodbye, thank them politely, but don't shake the walls with yells about what just happened to you. Never say anything bad about either the boss or the company - burn all the bridges so that you are not pursued by resentment.
Report the incident to your family immediately. Even if you are still in shock and shame, tell your family what happened and discuss how you can all get through it together. Although your loved ones will also experience shock and discomfort, in long term it will be easier for you to start taking further actions together.
Give yourself time to recover. You will be tempted to immediately start looking for a new job, but you need to give yourself time to process what happened, get rid of shame and panic, and start thinking clearly. Take a couple of weeks to spend it with your family and concentrate on future plans.
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Realize that this is not the end of the road. Although it can be difficult at times, don't think that your whole life is over when you quit your job. Start seeing the situation as a turning point on the road to change for the better. Of course, this is a difficult time, but it can give you new opportunities.
- Take the time to figure out if you want to stay in the same line of work or if you should try something else.
- Perhaps in the first few days your friends and colleagues will constantly call you to find out how you are doing. Refrain from talking to everyone. Tell everyone through one friend that you're fine and that you're just taking a breather, and then in the next few days, weeks or months - it doesn't matter - call everyone back.
- Make sure that the dismissal is carried out in accordance with the terms of your employment contract and labor laws in general.
- Be responsible. When you get home, cancel all but the essentials and budget according to what you have. Develop a financial plan. This will reduce your stress levels and keep you from grabbing the first job that comes along.
- Sometimes termination compensation is given under certain conditions: you cannot discuss the reasons for dismissal with anyone, you cannot discuss the terms of compensation, you cannot speak negatively about the company or its management, you cannot go to work for competitors, and so on. If you violate these terms, compensation may be collected from you back through the courts.
- Get official written confirmation of the company's intentions.
- As a rule, after a notice of dismissal, access to a personal computer is closed. Accordingly, (since you are reading this article, you have not yet been fired) today, coming to work:
- Send to your personal email address all the personal information from your computer that you would like to keep after you leave: personal mail, examples of work materials, recipes from your colleagues - whatever. Do not send all this from your work address, go to your personal mail and send from there.
- Make copies of all the files you want to keep (document templates, work materials, contacts) and take them home.
Warnings
- Resist the urge to call colleagues and complain about the company and its management.
- Arriving home, do not try to pack your things and leave the city. Running away from problems only exacerbates the situation, and besides, moving to another city for no apparent reason is a red rag for employers. It is better to update your resume and post it on the relevant sites.
Give yourself a minute (or five) to recover from the shock and collect your thoughts. Take a breath. If you feel like crying, please - this will not change the situation, but it may help you to better overcome it by venting your emotions.
Get the situation right. Perhaps your first impulse is to consider yourself a bad employee, a person, and a failure in general, but this is just the voice of panic. Instead, say to yourself, "I did the wrong job for me." This is important: the work is not to blame and you are not to blame, it was the combination of work and you that did not work. So don't be ashamed of the situation. There are millions of reasons why a job doesn't work, and none of them are 100% your fault.
Don't try to change your mind. You may be tempted to ask for another chance, but you should resist it. The decision is made and almost always irrevocable. Pleading will only weaken your ability to negotiate further.
Negotiate the terms of your dismissal. The employer does not want unnecessary problems, in particular, to earn a bad reputation. So here's what you can negotiate: