Hello dear ladies! In this article, you will not see instructions on how to take a man away from the family. We will talk with you why there is an opinion in the world that a mistress is a devil in a skirt and only she is to blame for everything, why men actually leave, what to do if there are children and what to fear from a jealous wife. Let's take a look at the issue love triangle and answer the eternal question: what to do?
Who is right and who is wrong
Opinions on the topic of mistresses differ exactly as much as there will be wives and mistresses in the audience. Any spouse will consider her mistress a bitch who destroys the family, tries to steal someone else's man and covet someone else's happiness.
The mistress, on the other hand, sees a suffering husband who is trying to escape his tyrant wife into a happier relationship. She does not nag him, does not scold and does not quarrel. And the wife only does what she constantly eats his brain.
What is right and what is wrong no one will ever tell you. Each situation is unique in its own way. There are stories in which the wife is absolutely wrong and ruined her marriage herself. And there are stories in which the mistress destroyed the happiness of the newlyweds for her own benefit.
We will not answer the question whether it is possible or not to take husbands away from the family. We will talk with you about why this is happening, how to be better than a wife your lover, what to do if you have children and what to expect from a crazy wife.
Secret weapon
Why do husbands look for connections on the side? The options are very diverse: from the lack of sex to the search for a more interesting woman. Which option is yours, I don't know. You better know this by what your man says about his wife. How can you use this to your advantage?
For example, he says that his wife is completely wooden in bed. Here's a hint of what might attract his attention. Learn different techniques in bed, buy a Kama Sutra and try something new together, wear sexy lingerie with him more often.
A man cannot stand how his wife cooks. Here is the field in which you must go around it. Go to cooking classes, go to a steak cooking class, men love meat, especially deliciously cooked. Try to make a varied menu, and not just borsch, which you are the only one who knows how to cook. Learn.
He can't talk to her, they have different interests. All advice boils down to the fact that you should be interesting to your missus. Be interested in his hobby, find a hobby for two, read together, go to the cinema, to exhibitions. You should always have something to discuss. But you should also be comfortable being silent together.
A married man who has already gone left a couple of times is easy enough to captivate. He needs to be given something that his spouse does not give. This is your main advantage, you understand what he is unhappy with and give him what he needs, whether it's sex or philosophical conversations at night.
How much talk goes about female cunning and wisdom. Can you call yourself one? If not, if you doubt your abilities, then be sure to read the article "". In addition, I bring to your attention the article "How to interest a married man."
If there is a child
A very sharp and dangerous question. When your loved one has a child with his wife, you need to be extremely careful and delicate in this matter. Naturally, in no case should you forbid him to see children. Of course, you will think that while he sees his son, his wife is also spinning there and trying to return him. Forget your jealousy. A child and a wife are two different people.
Ideal - if you find mutual language with his kids. This is a very difficult task. Children blame not only their parents for the divorce, but also the new person who was next to mom or dad. Therefore, be prepared for the fact that the children of your man will not love you the first time.
There is a great film on this topic: Stepmother with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. This film perfectly reveals the theme of the stepmother and the difficult relationship with children from former marriage, as well as the relationship of the ex-wife and current spouse.
Are you expecting a child from a married man and don't know what to do? First of all, remember, in no case do not manipulate your pregnancy. This is the worst way to develop your relationship.
What is the danger
A common fear of a mistress - since he once already left his wife for me, then he can leave me for another woman. But human psychology is different: we leave when we feel bad. Therefore, you should not initially think so about your loved one.
Since he once left for you, this does not mean at all that he will leave you too.
Can we assume that your relationship is forever? You can, if you build them, work on yourself, talk and look for compromises. As long as both people are willing to do something in the name of a relationship, it will last indefinitely.
The consequences of your appearance in the life of a married man can be different. One of my clients left his wife for another woman. They live happily ever after, raising beautiful children. The ex-wife found her man and is also happily married.
But there are more sad examples. When a man left the family, but after a while he returned anyway. Or found a new woman. There is no way to predict. It is impossible to quickly understand whether your relationship will be long and lasting.
For this, time must pass, you must face some obstacles and difficulties. Only then will you understand what your relationship is really worth.
If you are very afraid that the faithful will leave you, then I recommend that you read the article "". Forewarned is forearmed.
Wife's reaction
I've seen very different outcomes of similar stories. One woman, in retaliation, took all her property through the court, sued almost the entire salary for the maintenance of herself and her children. And the mistress did not need a penniless comrade and she also left him. So the poor man was left without a stake, without a yard.
A woman is sometimes ready for terrible deeds, if only to win the man from her rival. Here, magic, sentences and love spells, surveillance, threats and intimidation, manipulation, suicide attempts and much more are used.
Your spouse's wife may begin to manipulate the children. Be prepared for this. Almost everything is resolved very simply through the courts. In addition, she may begin to threaten you. Sometimes it's all about messaging in social networks. But it also happens that an angry woman comes to your work or home.
I advise you not to get involved in such cases, not to provoke her, not to aggravate your situation. It's best to just ignore it if possible. If she starts to rage, feel free to call the police.
One of my acquaintances was the victim of such attacks from the ex-wife of her faithful that they had to move to another city, so the woman turned out to be inadequate.
Another option is to become depressed. Many women are very fond of manipulating such things. Advise the man to send his wife to a psychotherapist in this case, who will help her cope with the situation and start a new happy life.
Remember, she is not your enemy. Do not try to belittle her dignity in front of a man, do not speak badly about her, do not do dirty tricks to her. So you will not conquer a man. Throw all your strength on yourself and on the faithful.
Why do marriages fall apart? What are men running from? Has your boyfriend left you for another girl? Can an ideal wife come out of a mistress?
Be happy!
Love is a great feeling! She was sung by the classics in their works. Many artists have been inspired to create their masterpieces. But this feeling is not always clear and cloudless, often a lot of negativity is associated with it.
All women were once girls. They grew up on fairy tales, and sooner or later a narrowed mummer appears in them, who is worthy of her. But reality is harsh. Very often modern successful woman starts looking for a partner too late, when all the parties have already been distributed and the “best specimens” have been dismantled by the less “successful” representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. There is only one thing left - to "beat off" someone else's man. In addition, sometimes a woman simply falls in love with an "inappropriate candidate." It was then that the question arises that needs to be answered: “An alien husband, is it worth taking him away from the family?”.
Someone else's family - darkness. Truth you can't argue with. Of course, he has “not a beloved wife”, of course, he lives with her “only for the sake of the children”, and he loves “only you”. Almost every woman heard such words, either these words were spoken to her herself, or a friend shared with her. After these "confessions", the development of "tactics" and "strategies" begins - how to take someone else's husband out of the family. But there are many reasons why you shouldn't. I will give only five main ones.
Someone else's husband, five reasons why you should not take him away from the family
Reason one. The “victim” you have chosen may feel morally responsible for their actions. Sometimes a man cannot agree with his conscience, and causing pain to his loved ones is simply alien to him. He subconsciously has the thought “you can’t build your happiness on someone else’s misfortune.” Over time, he will form a dislike for you, due to the fact that he caused pain to innocent people with his act. And the children will grow up without him, he will not be at his son's graduation party at school, and at his child's wedding he will feel at ease next to you. And do you need it?
In the beginning, passion takes over both of you. The "reclaimed" man becomes the main thing in life. But after some time, the whole wrong side of such a relationship comes out. He turns out to be really "not a gift", and living with someone else's husband without clouds is very problematic. This can be done only by persons with unstable moral principles and a plastic conscience. You are not like that, are you?
The second reason. If a mistress took someone else's husband out of the family, then sooner or later she will be in the place of her rival. A truth that you can't argue with either. The main thing then is not to be very angry, because she asked for it. Watching your own, tortured, long-suffering husband being taken away is retribution, which is the price for not plausible deeds. Although everything is simple to the banal. A man who once left the family will do it for the second, third ... time. After all, he felt the taste of freedom, realized that family ties are not so strong, and obligations are not so important, and being faithful is so old-fashioned. This applies mainly to men who cheated on their wives only once and left their family after that. That is, the most exemplary family men. It is unlikely to change the situation, there are two options: divorce or sleepless nights in anticipation of the "beloved".
Reason three. Adrenaline, like a drug, once having tasted it, it is very difficult to “jump off” such an “addiction”. They get used to it, they live with it, they crave it. Secret meetings, text messages mobile phone, conspiracy, "code words", all this leaves a deep imprint in the male soul and he strives to repeat everything. It's exciting and nerve-wracking.
Reason four. In fact, if you set a goal, then taking someone else's husband out of the family is not difficult, but you must be clearly aware that he is leaving not for you, but for his everyday problems. He has serious claims to his wife, and you became a “safe haven” for him at that time. When he came to you, he plunged into silence and peace, went away from domestic problems: a capricious child, causeless quarrels with his wife, relatives always demanding something, etc. You are always in make-up, fit, cheerful, in the best outfits. How not to change the hated environment for such a "celebration of life"? A man ran away to you from his problems, as soon as they appear in a new family, he will do the same. He will leave in search of an easy life, leaving you with a life and a child.
Reason five. Often a man does not leave the family alone. He takes with him the negative experience of family relationships. He may not agree to many things that he has done so far: want to sign, have children and much more. May compare you to your ex. And what normal woman would want such an unhealthy relationship?
What if it's love? You object. And you will be right. But in this case, one thing remains - step aside, and live your life. Let your man deal with his emotions and feelings on his own. If he needs you, he will come to you himself. No need to take someone else's husband out of the family. And if he doesn’t come, then he’s not your man at all. The main thing is to love yourself and do not let anyone trample on you.
This each determines for itself. In theory, of course, it's not worth it. He might just be a goat.
Take a walk, relax, complain about your mischief, don’t give anything, but take more (meaning even dinner at your mistress’s house), sigh sadly - sadly when he gets tired of such a light romance and run away under the wing of his wife.
And if a lover is at least three hundred times beautiful and smart, such a bastard just takes a break from his family on the side and earns points for himself in front of his friends, like a lucky male.
There is, of course, another type of man. They are initially decent and sensitive by nature and upbringing. Novels begin only when the attraction really cannot be overcome. But, even such specimens, again, due to their decency, practically never leave the family.
The last option is a man whom his own wife is glad to get rid of. Such a guy is not needed anywhere. This means that in all important areas, whether it be the ability to earn money, bed, mind, he is more or less untenable.
In general, the first conclusion can be formulated something like this: you can only deal with a married man if he deserves it and if you are ready to go to overcome certain difficulties, such as
- be content with the status of a mistress, maybe even for years
- fight for a man to the last by all means, which, most likely, is also not a quick process, and still take him away from everyone.
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Can a man leave the family
Since they take a married man out of the family, their psychology is primitive and easily gives in to “female legs”. Can he leave? The answer is yes, a man can leave the family, especially if some smart and cunning woman wants it.
The strong half of humanity is essentially weak.
For its representatives so it is important.
Attention, so that they listened, sincerely interested in affairs, admired, and maybe even pitied or at least sympathized
Care. Clean shirts. A warm dinner, albeit late in the evening. Varied breakfast.
Choose what is right for him.
Wishes for a good day and also cute, but, in no case, unobtrusive little things.
Appearance of the second half. A wife in a dressing gown and with a ponytail instead of a normal hairstyle will quickly learn what a husband's trip to the side is
Home setting. The eternal mess, not a tasty lunch, nervous children, a torn wife completely beat off the desire of a man to go to his native monastery
As a rule, they leave all this for an always beautiful mistress, who can turn the ordinary into a kind of fairy tale. Therefore, the answer to the question: is it possible to take a married man away - it's over.
➤ Secrets: And it may also be interesting for someone to look - you are welcome.
Is it difficult for a married man to have a mistress?
But that's how to say it. Rather, it depends in most cases not on the man, but on the desire of the woman to be a mistress. How does she perceive this status? Most often, work colleagues become lovers.
But this is the most unfavorable variant of relations on the side. It is necessary to hide from everyone, which is extremely difficult and practically impossible when you are with the same people for 8-10 hours a day.
In principle, there are men who have novels to show off, without being afraid of anything. public opinion, nor the wrath of his wife. Such incorrigible males are the most disadvantageous option for a lover.
They are not interested in a woman, as such, their number is important to them, so that “there is something to remember” in old age.
The optimal romance is lovers meeting on the side. And they won't annoy each other quickly, and less conspiracy will be needed. A married man in any case will have to be resourceful.
As a rule, he
- overtime work begins
- incredible traffic jams on the way home,
- dying, seriously ill acquaintances,
- a sharp love for sports, and in a gym that is very far from home.
After all, on the day off, on the way to the father-in-law, manage to drop in for an hour and a half to his mistress, if she deserves his risks of being caught along the way or, God forbid, at the crime scene. That's it!
➤ It's cool: I had a lot of mailboxes and I didn't know which one I didn't need, but everything turned out to be pretty easy.
What to do if you already have children
Not always the children of a man become an obstacle to the plans of his mistress.
As a rule, caring fathers do not want to deprive their children of education, attention, and money.
But isn't a full-fledged romance with a mistress already a deprivation of one's children?
That's it. Leaving his wife and children at home to meet with his beloved, a man may be tormented by doubts and his conscience torments him, but the mistress must show tact, restraint and intelligence. All this will eventually pay off over time.
Wives, in principle, can feel changes in the behavior of their husbands. Children become the main trump card in accusations or pleas. Men really do not want to leave their own children.
But, the trouble is that the spouse simply begins to get such conversations and accusations. And the mistress, the one who acts wisely and has a specific goal, on the contrary, will regret, sigh with understanding when a man begins to share how he got.
If you strictly adhere to such tactics, then the husband himself will soon realize that nothing terrible will happen if he leaves the family. After all, he will still love children, provide no less, but he will personally live much calmer.
But whether to get pregnant by a mistress from a family man with children is another question! On the one hand, a macho may soon leave his native land and fly to a new cozy nest, on the other hand, remembering diapers, undershirts, sleepless nights, he will categorically refuse to recognize paternity. In general, it is better not to rush and not force things.
What No Married Man Would Refuse
Life is eaten by love. The bed does not please with diversity, the tired angry wife does not want anything new in sex, and for a man in the prime of life, missionary positions on holidays as an exception, as a rule, are not enough.
A smart lover who can turn any action, whether it's dinner, or a trip around the city without a goal, into a holiday, of course, and keeps a high bar in bed.
She is ready for experiments and is active herself. It is necessary - she will play along with her beloved man, only very naturally.
And most importantly, then do not forget to talk about it.
It is recognized that
- This has never happened in her life and is hardly possible with anyone.
- She felt unearthly bliss and the most violent orgasm.
- She wants more and more, but if He is tired, she will wait and mentally prepare for this event.
The result of what has been said is this.
- if a lover is needed as a husband, albeit a civil one, one must fight for him, but approximately like in the war between Kutuzov and Napoleon. Expectant tactics, maximum attention, no reproaches.
- It's not a good idea to have kids from him. Suddenly he will jump back to the enemy camp. But sometimes, at an inconvenient time, as if by chance, SMS, so that the spouse sees, to speed up the denouement, you can send.
- but, most importantly, before starting hostilities and building victorious tactics, it’s worth considering whether he needs a married man? The probability that it will go from here to another is quite high.
- If you do not know how to take a married man out of the family, the advice of a psychologist will not help you, it is better to follow your own path.
Repulsed a married man - is it a victory or defeat?
On someone else's grief, as everyone knows, you can't build happiness. Or are you still building? Can a couple be happy in which she is a heartbreaker-razluchnitsa, and he is a man taken away from his wife? How strong can such alliances be, built on the misfortune of an abandoned woman?
Happy stories of star couples in which a woman took a man away from the family - the secrets of success
The stars, no matter how surprising anyone, remain the same "mere mortals" as the rest of us. And, of course, their personal life is not very different from the life of ordinary people - the same romance, the same passions, the same betrayals and betrayals. And they take away other people's husbands no more often (true, and no less often) than we do.
Has at least one star couple found happiness in such a union? Yes!
- Angelina Jolie
As you know, before meeting with Jolie, the favorite of women from all over the world, Brad Pitt was quite happily married to Jennifer Aniston (it should be noted, no less stellar).
But Jolie was not at all embarrassed by this fact, and she started a stormy romance without leaving the set. They could hide the relationship for a long time if not for Angelina's pregnancy. When everything secret, as usual, became clear, the deceived wife filed for divorce.
They did not have children in marriage, and Jolie successfully filled this gap. The couple is happily married and has 3 adopted and 3 children of their own.
Her man, Tom Brady, a famous model in literally stole from Bridget Moynahan (approx. - actress from "Sex and the City") in 2006
It is worth saying that Bridget was pregnant at that time.
Looking at the photos of Tom and Giselle, no one will think that their union is based on the misfortune of an abandoned young mother - the couple is quite happy today, and their son Benjamin is already growing up.
- Liza Boyarskaya
Given the appearance and status of the girl, she never had a shortage of fans. But love, as you know, does not knock beforehand and does not "screen out candidates" - it so happened that Cupid's arrows hit Maxim Matveev.
Being married at that time, the actor did not hesitate - he left his wife-actress (approx. - Jan Sexte) after 3 years of marriage and rushed off to the beautiful Lisa on the wings of love.
Secretly married, Maxim and Lisa live in love and harmony to this day.
This singer first became the mistress of someone else's husband - one of the Ukrainian oligarchs. Olga paved the way to her family happiness like an icebreaker - steadfastly overcoming any obstacles.
Despite the rather long marriage, no children appeared in it (the wife of the oligarch was barren), which Olga took advantage of, offering her lover a deal: he gave her a seal of marriage in her passport, she gave him babies. The deal ended with Olga's promotion from mistress to wife and the birth of 2 children.
Today the couple is happy, and Olga and her own producer are raising a son and a daughter.
- Nadezhda Mikhalkova
Who would have thought - and this actress also turned out to be a homemaker.
The choice of the daughter of a famous director fell on Rezo Gigineishvili, as a result of which Anastasia Kochetkova (his wife) was left alone with her 3-year-old daughter and a broken heart.
Despite the fact that Nikita Mikhalkov was not too happy with the choice of his daughter, and the spiteful critics predicted the imminent collapse of this new family boat, Nadezhda and Rezo are happily married to this day, and two children are growing up in the new union.
An actor, a handsome man and everyone's favorite, the overgrown (already) Johnny Depp, fell for the bait of this blonde. After 14 happy years of marriage and the birth of two children, he easily left his wife Vanessa Paradis (by the way, with whom he never formalized his relationship) and went to Amber.
It took the latter 2 years to ring one of the most enviable star suitors. And even the far from ideal reputation of Johnny's new passion was not embarrassing.
- Daria Zhukova
For this heartbreaker, it all started with football. Namely, from the Chelsea club and a single evening that was dedicated to a football match. It was there that one of the richest men on the planet Roman Abramovich spotted her.
Instead of the traditional light affair, surprisingly, a strong and deep feeling was born. The result of which was the divorce of a billionaire, an honest division of the inheritance with his ex-wife (she received real estate in the English capital and $ 230 million as compensation) and happy life with Dasha.
Rumors about the separation of Zhukova and Abramovich regularly appear in the yellow press, but they remain rumors - the couple is happy in spite of everything, they are raising two kids. And even the absence of a stamp in the passport does not bother them.
In fairness, it is worth saying that the abandoned wife of the billionaire, Irina, also once recaptured Roman from his 1st wife.
At the feet of this actress, men always stacked in piles. But her eyes fell on the married cameraman Daniel Moder.
However, the ring on her finger did not bother Julia, and Daniel was easily taken away from under the nose of his wife. Easy, but with scandals. Rumor has it that Moder's payouts amounted to ¼ million dollars.
Today Julia is Daniel's faithful wife and a wonderful mother of 3 children. The plans also include the adoption of an Indian boy.
- Oksana Pushkina
The TV presenter carefully concealed her relationship with Alexei for 2 whole years, while the ubiquitous paparazzi predicted her marriage to a certain American businessman. And then she herself gave an interview and revealed all the cards.
The chosen one - "IT specialist" is 5 years younger than her. His family relationships(according to him) were already drowning in the crisis, so there was practically nothing to interfere with relations.
Today, Oksana and Alexei live together, are happy and have even submitted an application to the registry office.
According to her fans and critics, Guseva has no equal in the art of taking other people's husbands away. Vladimir Abashkin became the next and last "gone".
A married businessman immediately fell for the hook and, having filed for a divorce from his wife, called Ekaterina to marry.
The couple has been living together for more than 15 years, raising two children.
Our love did not work out - unsuccessful examples of stellar unions in which a man was recaptured from his wife
Not all stellar homeowners family life it was also fabulous, like those that were written above. In the personal lives of many star heartbreakers, the boomerang principle has worked, which, as you know, always comes back and hits many times stronger.
Which of them failed to keep the man taken away?
- Naomi Campbell
Naomi took her Russian lover, the oligarch Doronin, away from the woman with whom Vladislav lived happily for 22 years. Having paid "compensation" to his ex-wife and daughter in common with her, the enamored Doronin fled to the "black panther" and showered her with diamonds.
Alas, the stormy romance did not end with a wedding - the couple officially broke up in 2013.
- Oksana Grigorieva
The acquaintance of the Russian pianist and actor Mel Gibson became the reason for his divorce from his wife Robin, with whom they lived in love and harmony for almost 30 years, revealing seven children to the world.
Mel's new hobby cost him a pretty penny - half of Gibson's fortune went to his ex-wife, and then the new Russian wife launched her own beautiful hands into his pockets. Oksana, with whom the relationship lasted a moment, accused Mel of violence, and having received a substantial compensation, disappeared from the horizon of the actor.
Love didn't work out. But Oksana now receives $ 60,000 a month for the maintenance of their common daughter.
- Albina Dzhanabaeva
The eccentric participant of VIA Gra spent a lot of energy to charm Valery Meladze. Actually, it was with his light hand that the girl ended up in the above group.
Long joint rehearsals culminated in the birth of a son. True, only a few years later the secret about his father became public.
For the sake of Albina, Valery left his wife after 18 years of marriage, and his three daughters. But Albina did not hear the ringing of the ring in the glass.
And recently, Valery is increasingly seen in the company of his former elastic Irina.
- Katya Ivanova
A girl with a simple Russian name and no less simple surname became famous for her relationship with Ronnie Wood, the aging (approx. - 61 years old) guitarist of The Rolling Stones. Being a simple waitress of 18 years old, Katya managed to take Ronnie away from his wife, with whom he lived for 23 years.
The “young” gathered after the treatment of the guitarist from long binge, and managed to torture all the neighbors with their quarrels. Even Ronnie's arrest for beating his mistress did not prevent their short happiness. But material problems interfered: his wife, having filed for divorce, emptied Wood's wallet, and Katya demanded that Ronnie's mansion in Ireland be registered as her own.
The result is natural - parting.
- Anastasia Zavorotnyuk
This love story was watched, one might say, by the whole country. Sergey Zhigunov replaced 24 years of marriage with an affair with his “beautiful nanny”.
But, the more passions rage, the faster hearts burn out (axiom), and after a short idyll, Nastya flew away from the former midshipman to the figure skater Chernyshev.
Either the resources of love were exhausted along with the plots for the series, or the nanny turned out to be windy, but the union broke up as quickly as it appeared. The midshipman, bowing his head, returned to his wife.
- Cameron Diaz
This actress has the fame of a "shark" in the starry sea: how many of them, other people's husbands, fell under her feet - and not to count them all. Uma Thurman, actress Nicole Kidman and even the scandalous Paris Hilton were the “victims” of the homeowner and convinced “bachelorette”.
But Cameron, quickly playing enough, threw another lover, and embarked on a new voyage.
The actress calmed down only in 2015, quickly and modestly jumping out to marry Benji Madden.
- Vera Brezhneva
The talented, beautiful, charming singer and actress also received the status of a “homeowner” by wrapping up businessman Mikhail Kiperman. Vera did not want to put up with the status of her mistress, and Mikhail had to leave the wife of 2 children for a more slender and younger half.
Family happiness, despite the presence common child, did not last long - the couple was officially divorced.
- Tatiana Navka
In this case, the Stars on Ice show played a big role (however, this show has become a test of strength for many couples). Joint rehearsals so rallied Nastya with her star partner Basharov that Marat left his wife (approx. - Liza Krutsko) with her daughter Amelie and went to an ice dancing partner. Even the fact that his wife converted to Islam did not deter Marat.
Basharov became the 2nd victim of Tatyana: she also took her previous husband (note - Alexander Zhulin) from the family, repelling him from Maya Usova. However, it is worth saying that Basharov also stole Lisa Krutsko from his own friend, Georges Rumyantsev.
Now no one will say what was the reason for the breakup - Marat's craving for alcohol, the disappointment of children and relatives from this union or the incompatibility of Tatyana and Islam, but after a year and a half of marriage, Marat and Tatyana broke up.
Love, as you know, is evil. And no one can predict when and who will be hit by cupid's arrow.
Often love brings together people who have already managed to start families. This choice becomes extremely difficult: it seems that we don’t choose love (on the contrary, it chooses us), and at the same time, it’s at least ugly to destroy a family.
What to do if someone else's husband has become your soul mate? What do psychologists say?
- First of all, think - is it worth it? After all, there is no guarantee that you will also not get bored with him, like his abandoned wife. And you need to understand the responsibility that falls on you when you deprive your rival of her husband, and their children - of their father.
- Every second man, after leaving for his mistress, feels guilty for his act. This feeling of guilt eventually develops into hostility towards the new passion.
- This is just the beginning of a raging passion. And after the man is taken away to another “stall”, like a breeding bull, this is already everyday life. This is where the whole wrong side of the relationship becomes visible. And, as a rule, it turns out that he is not such a brutal handsome man, but an ordinary man who walks around the house in shorts, abuses toothpicks and (oh, horror!) Often gets up on his left foot. Yes, and you are no longer only a beauty fragrant with perfume and dressed to the nines, but a wife with all the "following". Especially when a child arrives. That's when many
- He is already accustomed to a certain way of life . He and his wife had their own rituals and habits. And living together with you, whether you like it or not, he will automatically compare with previous relationships. Well, if the conclusions are in your favor. And if not?
- If he and his wife have children together, get ready for the fact that they will occupy a significant part of his life. That is, your joint. No matter how golden you are, children will always be more important than you. In any case, with regards to most men, this is an ironclad fact. After all, they leave their wives, not children. If, on the contrary, he forgets his children along with ex-wife, then this is not even a bell, but a real alarm for you - run away from such a man and do not turn around.
- is adrenaline. And adrenaline, as you know, is akin to a drug. Conspiracy, sms, secret meetings - they tickle the nerves and excite. And not the fact that he does not want to repeat. True, it is no longer with you.
- Analyze - why did he choose you as a mistress? Maybe he just lacks the thrill of home? But that's no reason to leave your wife. And even more so from children, to whom men are usually strongly attached.
- Are you sure that the spouse will simply let him go to you and wish him a good journey? A woman who has been betrayed is capable of much. And not everyone will just close the door behind ex-husband and “turn the page” - protecting the family hearth, it can turn your life into hell. Moreover, it will be right in its own way. Imagine that your husband is being taken away from you - try for a moment to get into her shoes.
- His relatives, children, friends, most likely, will not accept you. That is, he will not be lucky to meet your parents, will not take you to friends for a party, etc. After all, these friends are their common ones with his wife, and not with you. The fate of an outcast is also not very attractive, is it?
- According to statistics, less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for mistresses. And of these five, 2-3 percent return back to their wives or simply go into free swimming. Draw your own conclusions.
- What connects you with him, besides sex and romance? Well maybe more common work. And sometimes even a child. Thinking? And they are connected with their spouse by a life together, in which they have already gone through fire, water and those same copper pipes. And the experience gained for two is always stronger than any new relationship.
And if this true love? If we are made for each other? Yes, their relationship has been falling apart for a long time! You say. And you will be right.
But in this case you should step aside. Let him make his own choice. without your participation. If you are really two halves, then love will not go anywhere. But your conscience will be clear, and you will not dream of a boomerang at night.
Step aside and wait. Do not start life with deceit and on the ruins of someone else's family!
Good afternoon, dear women, readers of the blog! Let's talk with you today on a topic that worries all women, regardless of age and marital status. You guessed it, of course, let's talk about love, but about forbidden love - love for someone else's husband. All women dream of happiness, but the concept of happiness is different for everyone. The main thing is that no matter how independent and self-confident a woman is, she will not be completely happy without her beloved man.
What to do for those who did not manage to start a family on time? Every year the opportunity to meet your only one is rapidly decreasing, youth is leaving, and the notorious female happiness is still there, as if not.
Of course, there are meetings, falling in love, passion, walking through the streets at night, a shiver of desire, the impossibility of parting even for a minute, and then ... it suddenly turns out that the beloved is married. And then a logical question arises: “Will there be happiness if she took her husband away from the family? Will I not have to repent bitterly, being in the role of a homeowner? What to do: destroy someone else's family or go aside and try to meet your betrothed, who got lost somewhere?
Probably, it was not for nothing that our great-grandmothers believed that it was impossible to destroy someone else's family, even if it seems to you that there is nothing good in this family, marital relations have long outlived their usefulness, spouses do not love each other and parting best way out for them. It is probably not in vain that healers, fortune-tellers, witches, psychics and psychologists advise not to take drastic measures against married lover. There are many reasons for this, but we will name at least five main ones.
The first reason why it is better not to destroy a family, especially if there are children in it, is future remorse. It may very well be that at some point your man will reproach you for the fact that his children were left without a father. Or in the fact that he does not see his children, as he wants to. It is possible to leave an unloved wife, but how to leave beloved children and understand that they are completely on the side of their mother. It can be extremely difficult to improve relations with abandoned children, no matter how much you would like it to calm the conscience of both your own and your father who left the family. And to answer the question: do men regret leaving the family, you can answer unequivocally - yes! Especially if the same problems begin in the new family as in the old one.
Change in life values
Usually, when entering into marriage, both a man and a woman take on obligations. And the most important of them is the observance of physical fidelity.
Having left the family, the man realizes that nothing terrible is happening and that the bonds of marriage are not at all as strong and unshakable as it seemed. Therefore, in his subconscious, there is a change in value priorities, and he ceases to treat marriage as a shrine.
Having changed once, it is difficult to refuse new changes. Therefore, very soon the former lover may be in the place of the deceived wife. And even then she will fully experience what a midnight expectation of a spree of a loved one is, endless calls and silence on the telephone and going to work on holidays and weekends.
Need for adrenaline
A man is always a hunter, and a woman is a game. This was not invented by us, so arranged wise nature. In a boring everyday life, there is so little adrenaline, here everything is laid out on the shelves, everything is calculated and verified.
Where can a man show his hunting instincts? Adrenaline is what drives a man to seek new thrills, adrenaline is the same drug. The Forbidden fruit is sweet. A man - an adventurer - is attracted not even by betrayal itself, but by hunting, adventure, bright moments.
And what remains for the deceived wife? Expectation, tears, reproaches - and it does not matter - the first is the wife or already the fifth.
Family problems
Many representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of problems. These problems arise due to domestic troubles, illnesses in children, quarrels with parents, and you can find a lot more.
Any woman believes that solving problems is a purely male responsibility as the head of the family. And a man gets tired of this, of eternal quarrels and demands, of the fact that life has turned from a holiday into eternal everyday life, that his wife appears before him in a dressing gown and curlers, that she has grown fat after giving birth or has grown old, that no one understands him.
In this case, it costs nothing to take a man away from the family, he has long been mentally ready to leave. But he does not leave for his beloved, desired, only one, but simply because he is tired of problems!
But in a new family, after some time, the same gray everyday life will begin, and the holiday will come to naught. Well, in this case, a man who is used to running away from problems will find himself a new refuge.
Desire for an easy relationship
A man who did not like the first family experience will not rush to create a new family. And even if it seems to you that it was because of you that he left his wife, then this is not at all the case. Now he will strive for a free relationship, not burdened by marriage ties.
Therefore, most likely, he will offer to live together for the time being and look at each other so that his hands are untied.
Do you need it? To have all the duties of a wife, but not to have any rights?!
But we wanted to talk about love. Well, if you really have real feelings for married man, then you, first of all, wish him happiness. Psychology will come to the rescue in this situation. Analyze the pros and cons of your relationship and... step aside. If your chosen one really loves you, then he will independently decide on a divorce, and you will be together.
Listen to the advice of psychologists and act according to your conscience. When we, women, are faced with a dilemma: whether to take someone else's husband out of the family or sacrifice our happiness, first of all, we need to think carefully. But what if this is happiness, as our grandmothers used to say, samovar?
Dear readers, we whispered like a woman about a sore point. I hope this conversation was helpful to you. Visit our blog, subscribe to new newsletters, and let our girls' gatherings continue.