Muslim women their life in the modern world. Modern married Muslim woman. Do you have a family, children

Unfortunately, in our time, many vicious habits and customs have spread among Muslim women. And one of the most dangerous and harmful habits that our sisters suffer from is, without exaggeration, gossip.

Today, gossip often dominates the conversation between two people, and even the whole company. It is difficult to protect yourself from this sin, because it has long entered our lives as something normal and familiar.

From Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) it is transmitted that (once) the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) asked:

أَتَدْرُونَ مَا الْغِيبَةُ؟ قَالُوا: اللهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَعْلَمُ، قَالَ: ذِكْرُكَ أَخَاكَ بِمَا يَكْرَهُ . قِيلَ: أَفَرَأَيْتَ إِنْ كَانَ فِي أَخِي مَا أَقُولُ؟ قَالَ: إِنْ كَانَ فِيهِ مَا تَقُولُ، فَقَدِ اغْتَبْتَهُ، وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ فِيهِ فَقَدْ بَهَتَّهُ

« Do you know what a hula is? The Companions replied: Allah and His Messenger know best about it.". The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: It's saying things about your brother that he doesn't like ". He was asked: " Tell me, what if what I say belongs to my brother? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) replied: If what you say is inherent in him, then you are slandering about him, and if this is not in him, then you will slander him (buhtan) ". (Muslim, 2589)

But, despite the warnings of the Prophet himself (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), this sin, like a plague, infected the hearts of so many of our sisters.

Today, as you probably noticed, gossip finds its "corner" in almost every conversation of those who have mutual acquaintances. People who love to gossip do not see anything reprehensible in this, but as soon as gossip touches them, they begin to accuse others of meanness and immorality.

Gossip is primarily aimed at discrediting the honor of another person, and therefore is associated with cowardice or envy. God Almighty says in the Quran:

وَلا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ

(meaning): " And don't bully each other. Would any of you wish to eat the flesh of your dead brother? It will only make you disgusted... "(Sura Al-Khuzhurat, verse 12)

As we know, gossip can not only discredit a person, but also cause a strong offense to his heart. And, of course, the passion for discussion weakens a person's iman and deprives his heart of nobility and high morality.

Why is that bad

Hudhaifa (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

لَا يَدْخُلُ الجَنَّةَ قَتَّاتٌ

« The gossip will not enter Heaven! » (Bukhari, 6056; Muslim, 105)

From this hadith, we understand that gossip is not only an ugly act, but also a very serious sin, because of which we can lose Paradise. People at all times have loved to evaluate and criticize other people, which is why, in fact, this terrible sin has taken root so easily in our society.

For example, women very often discuss the external data of a friend or, belittling her dignity, focus on her shortcomings. This is especially true when talking about famous women - actresses and singers.

Of course, public figures sometimes allow themselves a lot of superfluous things, but does this give us the right to discuss them? Of course not. It is their life and their own business, how to spend it, and as long as their sins do not concern us, we have no right to talk about it.

On the Day of Judgment, this habit can turn into a real disaster for a person, because every word addressed to someone will have to be paid in full.

From Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) it is transmitted that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

لَمَّا عُرِجَ بِي مَرَرْتُ بِقَوْمٍ لَهُمْ أظْفارٌ مِنْ نُحاسٍ يَخْمِشُونَ وُجُوهَهُمْ وَصُدُورَهُمْ، فَقُلْتُ: مَنْ هؤُلاءِ يا جِبْرِيلُ؟ قال: هَؤُلاءِ الَّذينَ يأكُلُونَ لُحُومَ النَّاسِ وَيَقَعُونَ في أعْرَاضِهِمْ

« When I was taken to heaven (miraj), I passed people with copper claws, with which they scratched their faces and chests. I asked: "Who are they, oh Jibril? " He replied: " These are (people) who ate the meat of other people and affected their honor ". (Imam Ahmad, 3/224; Abu Dawud, 4878)

And imagine how the punishment for gyb against someone will increase if this person subsequently repents and stops committing this sin. And the gossip we spread will remind everyone of what he or she once did. This is doubly ugly and cruel.

Our respected Ulama dedicate to this topic great amount lectures, but, despite this, gossip in society does not become less. This happens because we do not fully realize the severity of sins while we are in this world.

We must also not forget that we are the slaves of the Almighty Allah, before whom everyone is equally equal. And in relation to each other, we have certain obligations: mutual respect and non-admission of treachery.

By perfidy in relation to others is meant not only material damage, but also the verbal damage that people inflict with gossip.

I hope that from today's article, my dear sisters, you understand that idle gossip and negative statements regarding strangers are an extremely dangerous sin, for which a person will be responsible before Allah.

And if you notice this for yourself, then make a tavba as soon as possible and promise yourself never to return to this again. Peace to you and all the best!

Alfia Sinai

Muslim culture is still a mystery to many of us. An integral part of it are the traditional long dresses of Muslim women. To many, they seem mysterious and incomprehensible, but this does not make the fashion of oriental women inappropriate in the modern world. Let's look at the features of outfits for Muslim women.

Features and benefits of traditional dress

Despite the fact that the outfits of Muslim women are long and closed, this does not make them unattractive and boring.

home distinguishing characteristic clothes for Muslim women - it is maximally closed and hides all parts of the body from prying eyes except the face and hands. The traditional outfit should cover not only the neck, but also the earrings, if they are long. Many argue over whether to cover the feet and ankles. But classic outfits should be just that: long and closed.

In public, Muslim women should not appear in dresses decorated with shiny embroidery or bright accessories. It is also desirable that the clothes be made of plain fabrics, without any prints. Modesty and restraint are welcomed in Muslim outfits, so you should give up flashy accessories decorated with precious stones and metals.

Muslim outfits should not emphasize female sexuality. That is why faithful Muslim women do not appear in public in tight or translucent clothes. Behind the fabric of the dress, feminine forms should not even be guessed, because this provokes unworthy desires of men.

It is also forbidden to wear men's clothes. This applies not only to trousers, but also to shirts and T-shirts. IN Muslim families this prohibition applies not only to public attire, but also to the images in which a woman appears before her husband. In the wardrobe of girls should be only dresses or skirts.

Muslim women should truly value their faith and emphasize their belonging to it. That is why their clothes cannot look like the outfits of representatives of other religions.

The advantage of Muslim-style clothing is that their loose outfits do not hinder movement. In such dresses, girls feel comfortable in any situation. The material of the dress or skirt should not cut into the body. In addition, a stylish scarf protects the head from the cold and sunlight and allows you to always look well-groomed and stylish.

Muslim shawls, contrary to stereotypes, also look stylish and attractive. A properly selected accessory of this type is perfect for creating a fashionable bow. Moreover, Muslim women are not at all obliged to wear exclusively dark monophonic scarves of boring colors. You can choose an attractive pastel-colored scarf, or an accessory embellished with a simple print.

Modern Muslim women are provided with a huge selection of suitable clothes that look stylish and are suitable for a wide variety of situations - from visiting public places before going on vacation with your spouse. In a stylish closed outfit, you will look fashionable and emphasize your individuality in everything.

Modern Muslim outfits should be of high quality and sewn from natural fabrics. This makes the outfit more attractive and causes the respect of others both for the girl and for the religion itself.

Fabrics such as cotton, linen or silk are used for sewing Muslim outfits in the summer. They are good because they allow air to pass through and allow the body to breathe. So, even in the heat you will not feel discomfort.

What should Muslim women not wear?

Before we continue talking about how to make a stylish outfit for a religious Muslim woman, let's look at some prohibitions.

First of all, they apply to those clothes that make you look like members of the opposite sex. These items include men's shirts, t-shirts and pants. Such outfits should not be worn in any Everyday life, nor at various celebrations, as this violates the basic rules of this religion.

Also banned are outfits that make a girl look like representatives of another religion. For example, the attire of Christian priests or crosses on a chain. Real Muslim women should emphasize their belonging to their religion.

It is also undesirable to purposefully demonstrate the level of your income - to wear outfits made of expensive fabrics, gold jewelry or other details. The chosen clothes should be practical and of high quality, but not pretentious and unreasonably expensive.

It is also forbidden to use clothes with inscriptions or prints that depict people in an unworthy form or forbidden inscriptions.

Kinds

The basis of the wardrobe of modern Muslim women is simple things. As a rule, these are monophonic outfits, although options with inscriptions and prints are also acceptable.

Muna

The simplest detail of the Muslim attire is the muna. This is a one-color dress with a simple cut, devoid of any patterns and inscriptions. Muslim women of all ages wear such dresses, regardless of social status. Such dresses fit into a strict style, so they are suitable even for working Muslim women.

Burkini

Showing your naked body in public is unacceptable for Muslim women. Therefore, designers create appropriate outfits for such ladies. For swimming, Muslim women choose a closed suit, which is called a burkini. Such an outfit covers the entire body of the girl except for the face, hands and feet. Initially, it was produced exclusively in black, but today there are outfits in all colors of the rainbow.

Hijab

An integral part of the Muslim outfit is the hijab. It is a simple scarf of small sizes, with which girls cover their heads at any time of the year. Such a scarf hides the head and neck from prying eyes, revealing only the face.

Niqab

A more closed version of the headdress is the niqab. It hides not only the head and neck, but also the face of a Muslim woman. Only the girl's eyes remain visible to outsiders. However, sometimes even they are covered with a translucent mesh resembling a veil. The traditional color of the niqab is black.

Veil

Another option for outerwear that is popular among Muslim women is the veil. The word itself translates as "tent". Such a detail of the outfit is worn by representatives of the Muslim religion outside the home. Usually fabrics are used for sewing veils. dark colors. It can also be completed with a translucent face cape.

Burqa

One of the most famous details of a Muslim woman's wardrobe is the veil. It is a cape to the floor that hides everything female body except for the eyes. Another popular clothing option is the burka. This is a waist-length headdress that looks like a burqa, but is shorter.

Abaya

For a trip to the temple or any special occasions, an elegant cape is used, made of high-quality expensive fabrics. Such a cape is called an abaya and its appearance strongly resembles a veil.

How to choose

When choosing clothes for Muslim women, you should pay attention to the quality of materials, cut and compliance of outfits with religious requirements. Wherever you go, clothing should be discreet and not emphatic. A man should not guess what your figure looks like under clothes.

Fashion trends

But, despite the fact that Muslim clothing must meet certain requirements, this does not mean that it cannot look stylish. Modern outfits for Muslim women look stylish, although they do not look like modern trendy outfits for European women.

Fashionable outfits for Muslim women are made from quality materials. They can be either plain or printed. But what distinguishes modern outfits from classic ones is that they are less monotonous.

In modern collections for Muslim women, you can find many outfits that allow them not only to look stylish, but also to feel as comfortable as possible. Elegant dresses and skirts are in fashion light colors or complemented by simple prints. Properly selected hats will help to complete such an outfit - a hijab, a burqa or a simple scarf tied around the head.

Brand novelties and designer collections

The best way to get acquainted with modern Muslim women's outfits is to take a closer look at the outfits from famous brands.

Amira

Simple high-quality outfits are offered by the Amira brand to its customers. In this company you can find an assortment for all seasons and occasions. In outfits from this brand, you can appear both at a family celebration and at a public event.

Sahara

Memorable Muslim-style outfits can be found among the assortment of the Sahara brand. Here you can pick up stylish dresses and shirts that do not emphasize the features of your figure, but make your image as a whole attractive.

Irada

Stylish Muslim outfits for various kinds of solemn events can be selected among the products presented by the Irada brand.

Maidenly

Memorable and bright details, which, however, do not go beyond the bounds of decency, can be picked up from the Maidenly brand. Among their assortment you can find stylish colorful shawls, which, hiding everything superfluous from prying eyes, will help you emphasize your attractiveness.

Reseda Suleiman

Another famous brand among Muslim girls is Rezede Suleyman. This company appeared in the fashion world relatively recently. Since the launch of the brand, they have presented only five collections. But during this time they have already managed to gain popularity.

Clothing from this brand is popular not only among ordinary Muslim women, but also among world celebrities. Girls highly appreciate the elegance of outfits and their good quality.

Outfits from the Reseda Suleiman brand look modest, but at the same time very stylish. Such costumes are liked not only by girls, but also by their spouses, because in such a dress the girl looks truly luxurious.

Woman in Islam. Muslim woman

A modern Muslim woman ... What is she like? A submissive wife who follows the commands of her Lord, a caring mother who teaches children the laws of Islam, a diligent daughter, a modest daughter-in-law, a faithful friend. Do not count all the qualities that Allah has endowed a woman with.

But today we will talk about appearance. What does a modern Muslim woman look like? What do we see when we go outside? Our modest and meek Muslim sisters seem to have forgotten about the commandments of the Lord. To meet a girl in a hijab, with "war paint" on her face, smeared with a fragrant bowl, unfortunately, has become not uncommon. It's like the norm. Where is the shame and meekness? Where is the piety that modern girls love to talk about and brag about so much. What can we say about the modern hijab. A fashionably knitted bright scarf, a tight skirt or dress and shoes with heels, so that they would certainly knock when walking. Maybe, having heard enough from everyone that Muslim women are oppressed and offended, having no rights to anything, our sisters, succumbing to the herd instinct, decided to prove that this is not so ?! What happens, the opinion of others is more terrible than the wrath of the Creator?!

The clothes and the whole appearance of a Muslim woman should speak of her modesty. It (clothing) should not be bright, tight, translucent. Aisha (r.a) reports: “Allah had mercy on the first women - Muhajirs. When He sent down the verse, “Tell the believing women to lower their eyes and guard their genitals. Let them not show off their adornments, except those that are visible, and let them cover the neckline with their veils and show their beauty to no one but their husbands, or their fathers, or their fathers-in-law, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands. , or their brothers, or the sons of their brothers, or the sons of their sisters, or their women, or slaves who have been taken possession of by their right hands, or servants from among men who are deprived of lust, or children who have not comprehended the nakedness of women; and let them not knock their feet, making known the ornaments they hide. O believers! Turn to Allah in repentance all together - perhaps you will succeed, ”they tore their cloaks to pieces and covered themselves with them.” (Al-Bukhari, 4480 and Abu Dawud, 4102).

A Muslim woman should not use make-up when going out, this is only allowed in front of her husband. Allah says in the Qur'an: “... tell the believing women that they are ordered to lower their eyes and not look at what Allah has forbidden to look at, and, protecting their chastity, avoid illegal intercourse and not show bodily beauty that seduces men - places where a woman wears jewelry: chest, neck, shoulders, except for the face and hands. Tell them (O prophet!) to cover the places that are visible in the neckline of their clothes, like the chest and neck, throwing their head coverings over them. Let them show their beauty to no one but their husbands<…>and follow the moral precepts of religion, that you may be happy in your present life and in the hereafter!” (Quran 24:31).

In addition, from a medical point of view, makeup is harmful, as it interferes with the flow of oxygen, because we get 60% of oxygen through the lungs, and the remaining 40% through the skin. And if you smear tons of creams, powders, lipsticks on yourself, then your skin will get oxygen starvation. Hence the premature aging of the skin.

Also, a Muslim woman should not use a bowl when leaving the house. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every woman who puts on perfume and goes out of the house so that men can smell the fragrance emanating from her is like an adulteress.”

And so we see that there is a lot of evidence that beauty needs to be hidden from prying eyes. Whether it is the verses of the Koran or the hadiths of the Prophet (s.a.v), everywhere it is said about the modesty of a woman.

Of course, it is difficult to comply with Sharia law. Especially in a secular country. But who said that heaven is easy to earn? And if we look at the mothers of the faithful, we will see that it was more difficult for them than for us. They didn't have the amenities that we have. But did they look like that, did they think about it. They did everything to earn the pleasure of Allah. They helped our Beloved Prophet (saw), sewed clothes themselves, raised children, memorized the Koran, the hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (saw) taught people religion, endured hunger and need. And at the same time they were satisfied and thought about the eternal world. Our spiritual mothers chose Ahirat in favor of dunya. Why don't we follow their example? After all, we should imitate them. If you think more and work on your inner world, then it will definitely affect the appearance.

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islam-today.ru

Woman in Islam

According to Sharia, a woman is a living human being, having exactly the same soul as a man. So, in her rights and duties, she is completely equal with a man before Allah Almighty.

The duties of a woman in Islam are no different from the duties of men in the performance of religious rites - daily prayers, fasting, obligatory donations to the poor and pilgrimage. On the contrary, women in Islam have special status and some privileges - Islam facilitates their prescribed duties, taking into account the psychological and physiological features female body.

So, pregnant women or Muslim women on menstrual days are exempted from prayers and fasting, and they are allowed to make up the obligatory Uraza in the Holy month of Ramadan at any time. Islam facilitates her prescribed duties, taking into account the psychological and physiological characteristics of the female body.

The role and position of women in Islam are great - the attitude of men towards her is strictly controlled by the Almighty Creator, and the infringement of her rights is severely punished. However, for a woman in Islam, punishment is also provided if her behavior is wrong, she behaves like an unintelligent child, loses self-control and does not follow the prohibitions of the Almighty.

“Men are guardians of women because Allah has given some of them an advantage over others and because they spend from their wealth. Righteous women are submissive and keep what is supposed to be kept in the absence of their husbands, thanks to the care of Allah. And those women whose disobedience you fear, exhort, avoid in the marital bed and beat. If they become obedient to you, then do not look for ways against them. Verily, Allah is Exalted, Great” (4:34). But in this case, we are talking only about a light, painless slap, by no means in the face, and only as a symbolic demonstration to the woman of the incorrectness of her behavior. In general, it is very, extremely undesirable to bring the situation to such an extreme limit.

In a reliable hadith (saying) it is said that the true paradise is under the feet of mothers, that is, the well-being of a Muslim man depends on the attitude towards a woman. A great mission has been entrusted to women - to be a righteous wife and mother, to maintain calmness, peace and religiosity of the hearth, as well as the upbringing and God-fearing of the younger generation.

Of course, the life of a woman in Islam is not limited to the house and household chores. A Muslim woman, with the consent of her husband or relative, who is responsible to the Almighty for the safety of her morals and honor, can do business, take part in political life society or work for the benefit of the Muslim Ummah. It is known that the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) Khadija did an excellent job with trading affairs, and the Tatar queen Syuyumbike became a legendary statesman.

Islam also provides that a woman can demand a divorce if the husband does not fulfill his duties, for example, does not provide for her financially. At the same time, all the donated and acquired property remains with the woman so that she can provide for herself.

A divorced woman in Islam has the right to remarry. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Khadija, who has two children from a previous marriage. But a woman is obliged to endure the iddah - the waiting period after the termination of marriage before remarrying (three intervals between menstruation) in order to make sure that she is not pregnant. In case of pregnancy, the iddah ends with the birth of the child.

A source

quran-sunna.ru

woman in islam

Many people have a stereotype that a woman in Islam is like in the underworld. As if she was being bullied and humiliated in every possible way. What do we associate a Muslim woman with? Dark clothes, veil, all sorts of prohibitions? It is important here not to mix folk tradition with the creed, because in fact they have little common features.

It is interesting that there is not a word in the Koran about a specific color of clothing or a veil. Moreover, Allah advocates that people put on smart clothes. The only thing the Quran insists on is that women's clothing did not shine through and did not fit the figure. But a woman in Islam can use the whole range of colors. By the way, the Quran is unique in this sense - apart from it, not a single Holy Bible doesn't talk about colors. Islam is the religion that says to show the grace of your soul, your happiness, including clothing.

The Koran will not accuse the woman of expelling the human race from Paradise, since both - the man and the woman - were guilty and both repented. Sura 4 says that Allah created people of different sexes without superiority of one over the other, from one source.

Women's rights in Islam

When it comes to religious rites, women are obliged to follow the traditions on an equal basis with men. However, in some cases, the rights of women in Islam are even wider. For example, a woman is allowed to break her fast and not spend time on daily prayer if she is pregnant, has recently given birth, or there is an immediate danger to her health or her child, and the like. The missed fast, if it is obligatory, can be compensated in the future at any time. For women, unlike men, it is not necessary to visit the mosque on Friday.

A Muslim woman is given the right to choose her own husband, which emphasizes her independence. If for some reason she considers the candidate for her hand and heart unsuitable, then the woman may refuse him. Moreover, if the marriage is concluded without her consent, it will be considered invalid.

A woman in Islam has every right to solve her problems through the courts - to sue her father, husband and other persons if they have violated her rights as a person. Like a man, a woman has the right to defend dignity and honor. Sharia says that if someone slanders a woman, then he must be punished. Islam gave the beautiful half of humanity the right to inherit, while before that women were deprived of such a right, or even passed on as a thing themselves.

Allah welcomes and blesses the acquisition of knowledge - scholars agree that this applies to both men and women. It is also unusual that Muslim men are obligated to invest in their families, but a woman's money is only her property, of which she is the rightful mistress. Islam openly admits that a woman and a man are equal before God and their actions will be evaluated equally - thus, Muslims have achieved spiritual equality among themselves. Islam recognizes the unique capabilities of the individual while protecting the rights of both men and women.

Many Christian women are concerned about the issue of plural marriage, which they have heard so much about. It is quite alien to our mentality - to imagine next to you and your man a rival who claims rights to him, who is forbidden to scratch her eyes. I would like to reassure the excited readers: more and more people are turning to the fourth sura of the Koran, which deals with property equality. Also, if a man cannot support more than one wife, he will not marry another. Of course, polygamy is allowed, but in much more exceptional cases. So the percentage of polygamy is very low in the countries of the East.

Looking at Arab women, one can say that they are just a model of joy in comparison with Christian women. And this is not a merit of nationality, but of religion, the word and law of Allah.

magicjournal.ru

I often notice that when men gather, they are always lively, always joking, laughing, so optimistic, looking at things positively and most importantly - rejoicing in their religion. And when I come to meetings of women, girls, I get the feeling that religion for them is about patience and suffering. No matter how much you go to various women's lessons in the mosque, you leave from there without any inspiration. I would even say that everything is depressing, terribly gray and dull. There is a feeling that our female fate is always to endure. Endure as long as men live full life- work, create, develop, communicate with each other, build a career, achieve goals, enjoy a spouse (and they want more than one), enjoy children. We, women, can only endure everything in silence.

Men sometimes live as they want and do what they want: they take a second wife, often secretly, with all the ensuing consequences, look at other girls on the streets, and many freely communicate with them, walk somewhere in the evenings and at night, come home late, and women obediently sit at home and do not know anything, and if they know, they silently demolish it.

Muslim women do not have a positive attitude, and an idea is created that has a real basis, that a woman in Islam is an unfortunate creature. These negative thoughts are firmly strengthened and destroy the consciousness of Muslim women, especially when you hear a lot of different stories. It turns out that even young girls at the age of 16-18 with these negative ideas about family “happiness” get married, and they are mostly happy only before marriage, or, well, the first couple of years of marriage.

For a woman, her husband is everything! This is the center of her universe in this life.

I would like you to turn to women more in your sermons and books, explain to us that for us Islam is not patience and suffering, that a woman in Islam can and should be happy. I would like Muslim women to also enjoy life and their religion, like men, so that they would not be so gloomy and dejected.

Reply:

1. How to continue to enjoy life when your husband disappears somewhere at night?

2. How to stay happy when he takes his second wife?

3. How to stay interesting for your husband, sitting at home, not going anywhere, not communicating with anyone (because the husband is against girlfriends)?

4. How to behave when a husband sees hundreds of beautiful naked girls on the street every day and does not lower his gaze in front of them?

5. What advice would you give to us women in such situations other than patience, which we already know so well?

Before giving my answer to these questions, I would like to give the opinions of visitors to our site.

My comment (Olga).

1. How to continue to enjoy life when your husband disappears somewhere at night?

The most important thing is not to drive into your head the thought that your husband is walking. Family harmony is based on trust and mutual respect. Try to calm down. Think only good things. Read the du'a, the Lord is the best adviser.

2. How to stay happy when he takes his second wife?

In Islam, a woman is respected in the same way as a man. We must try to understand why the husband takes a second wife. To be happy or not - it all depends on us. After all, “happiness” is different for everyone. To be unhappy is to be ungrateful. The mercy of the Almighty is unlimited.

3. How to stay interesting for your husband, sitting at home, not going anywhere, not communicating with anyone (because the husband is against girlfriends)?

Why "husband against girlfriends"? Perhaps the answer lies within ourselves. Get out more often with your husband. Get knowledge from books, nowadays almost everyone has access to the Internet. To remain interesting for a husband, you need to feel the taste of life yourself.

4. How to behave when a husband sees hundreds of beautiful naked girls on the street every day and does not lower his gaze in front of them?

The beauty of the body is temporary. The beauty of the soul is what is eternal. Sometimes women don't see what they really are. It may seem to you that he sees hundreds of beautiful naked girls, although your husband may see all the female beauty only in you. You need to understand that in the world there are not only hundreds, but billions beautiful girls but you are the only one! And what you consider yourself - you decide.

5. What advice would you give to us women in such situations other than patience, which we already know so well?

Take your free time useful, dream and realize your dreams. The Almighty gives what we are ready for. Develop your potential, your IQ level. Each person, even sitting at home, with a great desire, can discover the most magnificent world full of bright colors. The site has a section "Shamil Alyautdinov recommends", it lists interesting and useful books.

My comment (Muslim, Norway). Serious letter, serious questions! It is the case when you can say that the truth pricks the eyes (to me as a man). You just cut on the spot with your truth. And I say this in defense of you, our sisters, Muslim wives.

I am not writing this at all in order to sow even more confusion and sadness in a person, not at all! On the contrary, I think it would be better if I speak out and my comment is added to the others.

I think that it is important for all of us (those who will give advice) to be aware of the modern realities of life. We must feel the person, communicating with him. He is a friend or a husband, wife, mother - everyone reacts differently.

We sometimes ask ourselves, wonder why we are so reluctant to change for the better. That's when it already starts to anger us, it means that we understood ourselves, our problem and started to eliminate it.

I say this based on personal experience. I see that some of my acquaintances and friends do stupid things that do not seem serious to them. Some people laugh when you tell them to stop doing things like that. This does not mean that they are bad or lack IQ, iman (faith). They just don't see it as a problem.

I hope and pray to Allah that you, our wives, become those who will open wider our half-open horizons. Therefore, do not lose heart and hold on, do not stop pulling your husbands along with you!

My comment (Timur and Arina).

How? Usually. After all, the husband is not life, but part of it. When some part of life sometimes seems complicated and strange, then you need to take it calmly and soberly. Strangeness to make clear and behave like a sane person.

If you look at this from the point of view of family harmony and taking into account the realities of today, then without the permission (without the consent) of the first wife, the husband does not have the right to take the second.

Perhaps the husband sees in his wife's friends those people from whom the wife can pick up something bad (for example, bad habits). As they say, with whom you will behave ... How to stay interesting? Constantly transform, and not only outwardly (trying to look good), but also intellectually, spiritually.

Look what a look. It is necessary to see the difference between casual and intent gaze, staring.

Attentiveness and a sober approach to certain situations.

My comment (Ildar). A very curious topic.

1. How to continue to enjoy life when your husband disappears somewhere at night?

If a husband systematically disappears at night, you should think about what he lacks at home. A man will not leave a woman with whom he feels good.

2. How to stay happy when he takes his second wife?

In the CIS, Muslim men now, as a rule, have only one spouse.

3. How to stay interesting for your husband, sitting at home, not going anywhere, not communicating with anyone (because the husband is against girlfriends)?

You might think that you are under house arrest or absolute isolation from society. But even if this is so, there is a telephone, the Internet, literature.

The interest of a spouse is influenced by trust in the relationship, mutual understanding, the opportunity to discuss his problems, the attractiveness of the wife as a woman, etc., and since these things do not depend on whether you spend time with friends or are at home, it is in your power to maintain this interest. There would be a desire.

4. How to behave when a husband sees hundreds of beautiful naked girls on the street every day and does not lower his gaze in front of them?

Do not think about his sins and in general about other people's sins, free yourself from vicious thoughts. By the way, it is far from a fact that he necessarily considers strangers.

5. What advice would you give to us women in such situations other than patience, which we already know so well?

Do not dramatize the situation, stop feeling sorry for yourself - this greatly hinders the feeling of happiness. Focus on the positive. The Almighty gave us the miracle of life, and we are all dissatisfied and dissatisfied ...

My comment (Dzh). This letter looks like I wrote it! Indeed, it is so! Women only know how to endure and suffer in silence. And men are free hunters, sort of males in search of the next female, whom they are ready to make happy! And at this time, the usually "chronically" pregnant wife, swallowing tears and exhausted from many duties, including the obligation (despite pain, resentment and fatigue) to always be ready for intimate exploits, listens to speeches about how it is charitable to go and find husband another wife! And in general: “If I want, I will divorce!” Believe me, this is not such a rare scenario.

For our men, with the help of male preachers and their purely male solidarity and justice (I am sure that this justice has nothing to do with the Divine), the image of a slave wife has been created. Although there is no slavery for a long time, and the Prophet himself (may the Almighty bless him and welcome him) called for the eradication of this social ailment.

It's just very convenient when your wife is at home, and you have all the ways open! You don't have to worry about the rear when you're staring at trendy ladies in cool restaurants. (As if I'm talking about playboys and not about Muslims.) And these are practicing Muslims who demand from their wives behavior worthy of the wives of the Prophet!

How to turn the minds of men so that everyone lives well in Islam? Scientists must answer this question. I apologize for this emotional introduction, which repeats the letter of a married Muslim woman, it just hurt a lot.

Unfortunately, these are the realities of life. Maybe the time is not good, there are many temptations, men are weak, they cannot control themselves, keep their passions in check. And we, the humble in this world, need to look wider and deeper, we are responsible for the family, children and for these weak men. Patience and suffering do not correct the situation, I know from experience. The more you endure, the more man impudent. If someone thinks that suffering touches a man, then she is greatly mistaken.

Here is my husband, a practicing Muslim, who firmly believes that cheating on his wife is his birthright privilege granted by Allah. In general, men have only one privilege, and only one duty, which is recognized - providing for the family.

Nothing can be done if he does not come at night. Find pleasure in the fact that the house is free for you and your joys. Decorate yourself as much as possible, take care of yourself, be clean, tidy, do not go around in old shapeless clothes. All this must be done in order to first of all like yourself, even if you do not hear from him an assessment or hear a negative one. Just be beautiful. Please yourself and love yourself, body, mind and character, given by Allah. We are all, to some extent, His masterpieces. Prepare delicious food for yourself and your children, make them happy, create favorable conditions for their development and growth. After all, children are our future. Invest in them everything you can, so that later you can enjoy the fruits of your upbringing.

More patience, humility, acceptance, but no suffering! The Lord does not like despair, sorrow and despondency! You can live in any conditions, enjoy life, be positive.

Enjoy what is permitted, rejoice in everything you have, be grateful to the Creator, be happy because you are a Muslim, because you pacify your nafs and crystallize your soul. We are the best, we are the strongest, and Paradise is ahead of us (if it is God's will)! Spread this positive attitude among Muslim sisters, support each other. And also make the center of your universe not a husband who opens his mouth at naked girls, but the Most High, the Most Just, the Most Merciful. Find the right knowledge, and not only religious, but also secular, enlighten yourself.

I wish you good luck, wisdom, female cunning, patience and more joy!

My comment (Z.). You can argue and worry for a long time about how hard it is for a married Muslim woman! But it all starts from the head of a person, or rather, from the perception of the people around him and the events taking place around him. The main way to stay in a good mood is the ability to notice only the good, the good, to refuse imposed negative judgments, critical assessments. Sometimes there is more negative around us than positive. But you don’t need to let something gloomy into your head and soul, something that worsens your mood.

The Almighty gives us the opportunity to be the author of our life, to choose what we like. Everyone personally will be responsible for the life they have lived, for the choices they have made. Muslim wives, we will not be able to say on the Day of Judgment: “O Lord! My husband didn’t come at night, so I cried until the morning and was all broken during the day, in addition, because of this, my immunity decreased, and I got sick.” Will not work! Look around you. You have a warm apartment, food in the kitchen, you can breathe, live ... And are you still dissatisfied with something? There should be lightness, gratitude to the Almighty at the level of all the cells of our mortal body, at the level of the entire depth of our soul.

1. So, in order to enjoy life, even when your husband disappears somewhere at night, you need to:

a) Write on a piece of paper what you would like to have in your life. It is not for nothing that in the 96th sura of the Qur'an it is said that the Almighty "taught people writing" (ayat 4). When a person writes, his thoughts crystallize; when he is nervous, the letter calms, clarifies feelings. This way you get rid of negative emotions. Write on paper everything that you think about your husband, without fear, boldly, rudely, pouring out all the resentment, you can cry, and then tear this paper to shreds and throw it in the trash. Who needs to throw out negative emotions, it helps without fail.

Another option for getting rid of disturbing thoughts about where your husband is is physical activity. That is, when sad thoughts gnaw, it is important to do something. For example, sort out the closet, wash the floors, clean the room, etc. Then the whispers of Satan go away, the result of the work done remains, self-esteem rises, there is a feeling of satisfaction and joy that you have done something useful. Works at 100%.

b) Think about yourself, about your spiritual, physical and intellectual development. The husband did not come - it happens, but the Lord is always with you. You can go buy or order something you need on the Internet, make yourself happy. You can sincerely help someone, participate in helping. Bake something tasty and bring it to the neighbors. Smile, find out how life is with the concierge, or say “God help you!” cleaner. These mini-messages, mini-help-participation create a good mood. We feel unity with other people, the same creations of the Lord, we internally understand that someone needs us, someone is pleased with us, and let the idiot husband go somewhere! .. Yes, it is important to treat your husband with respect, with love, but the attachment of the heart should be only to the Creator. It is important to love only the Creator with a full heart, only He is worthy of such boundless love.

2. The second wife in the 21st century is a man's stupidity (sorry, it's more eloquent), a complication of one's life, a burden on one's soul. What the Koran says about wives and justice, we all already know. Let the womanizer himself disentangle what he has done out of his stupidity, he himself will be responsible for the life he has lived. And you, dear first wife, need not be nervous. The Almighty is with you, He still loves you. Be more tolerant of this stab in the back from your scoundrel husband. Time will heal wounds. Turn on indifference, do not try to revive the feeling of love and devotion to your husband. It's hard to write, but he betrayed you! How can you talk about love for a man in this case? The Almighty is your comfort. We will return to Him sooner or later.

After such a life shock as having to share a husband with another woman, it takes time to recover. Pray more, read, communicate, do not withdraw into yourself. I think that the situation with the second wife will be perceived more painlessly if you lose all feelings for your husband, put a block on them, remain his wife only formally, so as not to experience jealousy inherent in all women (as the hadith says: “For men - masculinity, and for women - jealousy"), and, using material support, live only for yourself, for your own development, beauty, for moving forward.

3. Before communicating closely with girlfriends, you should understand: after communicating with them, do you stay positive, are you set to move on in life or your Bad mood does not change, are you still pessimistic? If you discuss who said what, you say gyiba and thereby drive yourself into a swamp, trample on the same sad strip of life. It is important to associate with those who think positively and energize you. If communication with friends is vital, this should be discussed openly with your husband. Whatever the husband, there should be an open relationship between the spouses. No need to criticize, react emotionally. It is important to be able to listen, to hear and to be able, while maintaining a dialogue, to gently express one's opinion, to argue one's position. Every person is entitled to their own point of view.

It is important to explain that it is vital for us to see other people, to greet them, to talk about something, at least a little. And in general, men, understand that if you want a good family and children, invest in your wife: go to the sauna together, to a restaurant, organize dinner. Going to the store, grab a soul mate. Happy wife - happy husband, happy children. If you keep your wife locked up, do not teach her, do not show the world created by the Lord - what will you reap, O head of the family?

4. Of course, a woman wants everything about a man, wants him to belong only to her, look only at her, take care only of her and her children, love only her only. But the husband is not our property. This is a free man, a creation of the Lord. And although we, women, want to completely own them, this is impossible. They are free creatures. For example, dhikr helps me: “The Almighty is enough for me, and He is the best one I can rely on” (hafbiyal-lahu wa ni’mal-wakil) - this pacifies emotions and sobers the mind. The Lord must be in the first place throughout the path of worldly life. In no case should one represent the husband as the center of the universe. His role is important, but the role of a woman is no less significant. Moreover, she must give an account for herself on the Day of Judgment. The wife herself should have successes, achievements, strive for high goals, and not hide behind her husband or trump with her children. It is important that she represents herself, what she has achieved, what good deeds she has done. To do this, you need to develop, move, grow comprehensively.

Life is fleeting. Every moment of our life is precious. And let's thank the Creator for any circumstances, for simply living on this beautiful earth!

My comment (Shamil Alyautdinov). 1. If this "somewhere" implies that he has a mistress, then kick him out of his personal life. An adulterer is not a man, but a rag on which a woman of easy virtue wipes her dirty feet.

2. A difficult case, but ... This is a good motivation to take care of yourself (sports, children, foreign languages, self-discipline in what develops), a great opportunity to make a sharp leap forward and become happy (soul, intellect, body), no matter what! The main thing is not to be afraid of anything and anyone (except the Creator). If the husband becomes a rotten and unfair reptile to his wives (for example, there is no good, identical housing bought by him for each of both families, there is no due equal attention and care), then the Muslim canons give you complete freedom to divorce him.

3. He has no right to restrict your freedoms and lock you at home.

5. Tear everyone apart and actually understand that the mercy of the Almighty has no boundaries.

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“The most complete faith will be in the one who is the best in temperament and character. And the best of you are those who are the best to their spouses (to their families) ”;

– “There are two blessings [priceless Divine gifts], in which many people are deceived [carelessly neglect them, causing great damage to themselves; do not derive the proper benefit and benefit], this is health [its preservation and development] and free time [which people basically do not fill with something useful, whether in an earthly or eternal perspective] ”;

- “Whoever has two wives and he does not clearly treat them equally (give preference to one of them in one way or another), then on the Day of Judgment such a person will go [to the Court Square] with half [of the body] dragging behind him.” That is, his shame and humiliation will begin with the beginning of the resurrection from the graves.

The semantic translation of one of the verses of the Qur'an is as follows: “Be patient and [know that] your patience is only with the Almighty. [Since it is He who can lay in your heart a lightness of the inner state and perseverance in overcoming life's obstacles, when a person, showing patience, does not waste himself on emotions, hard-to-swallow resentments, painful intrigues, but gains even more strength from all this. After all, if he tirelessly moves forward through the thorny thickets of obstacles, climbs up, to the peaks, along the sheer cliffs of being, then he does not become easier, but, on the contrary, more and more strength and skills are required].

Do not be sad because of them, do not be sad, and do not let your heart shrink from the pain that their intrigues cause you (treachery, cunning). [You will successfully pass and achieve, and the difficulties created with someone else's participation will only benefit you if you do not stray from the positive and optimistic line of your path] ”().

Let what happened blow you up from the inside and raise you to a new level of perception of things and understanding of people, but not in the sense of disappointment, but in the sense of revealing the dormant potential and talents that have long been dusty in you!

Replica. I wanted to sincerely thank you and those who wrote the answers to my letter, thanks for the "kick" that I needed so much at that moment. Special thanks for the book about the monk and the Ferrari, which you recommended to me and after reading which I slowly began to pull myself out of the "comfort zone", and my life began to change by the grace of the Almighty. I know that this is only the beginning of the journey, but how wonderful it is to live, filling each day with really important things, without leaving yourself a single minute for stupid thoughts and unreasonable worries. It's amazing how everything changes when you shift the control lever of your life to an increased speed, and what just recently seemed like the drama of a lifetime quickly moves away from you and turns into a tiny black dot in which you can’t even see what was there. And because of what I suffered and suffered so much.

Shamil-khazrat, may the Almighty reward you and your loved ones with an endless stream of worldly and eternal blessings!

The same "modern married Muslim woman"

A common replica of a modern Muslim husband, who does not particularly practice Muslim morality, in a fit of anger and indignation.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of God be upon him) said: “You will not lose Divine grace, His mercy until you “agree” with the feeling of boredom, spiritual languor, do not follow his lead.” See, for example: Al-‘Askalyani A. Fath al-bari bi sharh sahih al-bukhari [Discovery by the Creator (for a person in understanding the new) through comments on the set of hadiths of al-Bukhari]. In 18 t. T. 2. S. 136, hadith No. 43.

“Tell believing men to lower their eyes [not lustfully look at members of the opposite sex] and guard their flesh [do not commit adultery]... Tell believing women to lower their gazes [not lustfully look at members of the opposite sex] and guard their flesh [did not commit adultery]…” (see Holy Quran, 24:30, 31).

A submissive wife who follows the commands of her Lord, a caring mother who teaches children the laws of Islam, a diligent daughter, a modest daughter-in-law, a faithful friend. Do not count all the qualities that Allah has endowed a woman with.

But today we will talk about appearance. What does a modern Muslim woman look like? What do we see when we go outside? The clothes and the whole appearance of a Muslim woman should speak of her modesty. It (clothing) should not be bright, tight, translucent. Aisha (r.a) reports: “Allah had mercy on the first women - Muhajirs. When He sent down the verse, “Tell the believing women to lower their eyes and guard their genitals. Let them not show off their adornments, except those that are visible, and let them cover the neckline with their veils and show their beauty to no one but their husbands, or their fathers, or their fathers-in-law, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands. , or their brothers, or the sons of their brothers, or the sons of their sisters, or their women, or slaves who have been taken possession of by their right hands, or servants from among men who are deprived of lust, or children who have not comprehended the nakedness of women; and let them not knock their feet, making known the ornaments they hide. O believers! Turn to Allah in repentance all together - perhaps you will succeed, ”they tore their cloaks to pieces and covered themselves with them.” (Al-Bukhari, 4480 and Abu Dawud, 4102).

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