Good afternoon! My family life with the man I love is turning into hell. He constantly unreasonably criticizes me, raises his voice, I hear only reproaches from him. And the further - the worse. He used to apologize for raising his voice, but now he says that you can’t talk to me differently. Everything I do, he says, is wrong. If I did THIS, he says that I should have done THIS, and if I did THIS, then he says that I should have done THIS. I tried to explain to him that such an attitude offended me. He used to try to understand, now he answers that I have an unbearable character and I should listen to his words and work on myself. By the way, it’s probably my own fault ... I got married for the first time at the age of 17 (according to “flight”), they parted ways with my husband a year later, because. he was a real henpecked and an amoeba, he didn’t even hide it, he didn’t strive for anything in life, and he placed all decisions on me. As a result, I realized that I needed a husband, not a housekeeper, and got divorced. However, without regretting anything, because I have a wonderful son from him, for which I thank him very much. Divorce was only a joy to me, my child was growing up, I studied at the institute, went in for equestrian sports, diving, traveled a lot ... life was in full swing and depended only on me. Every year for the summer season I went to work in Turkey - practice in diving and a child for six months at sea. When the relationship with my current husband began, I started my own business. It was 6 years ago, my son was 5 at the time. In relations with Theme, I gave him all my energy, it was enough for me then for a lot. I supported him in everything, he started having problems at work, the shortage was written off to him, I tried to help, as a lawyer gave advice, he seemed to listen to these advice and agreed with them, but when the next day I asked if he did as discussed, he answered that "it is not necessary to tell me what to do." That must have been the first call. We talked about the fact that he himself asks for advice, and when I advise him, he says “no need to specify.” The result of the conversation was that he simply stopped talking to me about his problems, but from this they were not solved, he let everything take its course. I read books on psychology, tried to help without offending, picked up every word, tried to instill in him great self-confidence. It worked, but weakly. He became more confident in himself, but he let everything take its course, his favorite expression - who is not in a hurry, he is not late. Problems at work were resolved by paying a non-existent debt for the shortage ... A year later, they decided to get married. The organization of the wedding largely fell on me, because. I had my own business and more free time, Theme at that time worked as a driver in the same organization where he paid off his “debt”. The wedding ended in scandal. At the end of the celebration, when I had to go home from the cafe, I had to call the drivers to come, pay the cafe, collect things, figure out who would drive which car, etc., etc. I asked Theme to help me - call the drivers while I dealt with other matters, and in response I heard that I should do everything myself, that in general, since I started organizing the wedding, I should do everything myself to the end, and he is not going to help me t .to. these are my shortcomings. I had to get divorced right away. But like many women, I thought things would get better. Tried to change the situation when everything is assigned to me. I earned 2.5 times more, cleaning and kitchen were only on me, and he was tired at work. My travels, work in Turkey, equestrian sport have stopped. I didn't have enough energy for that. I gave all my energy to him. She even paid less attention to her son. I complained that he didn’t take us anywhere, we didn’t rest, we didn’t have fun, and he replied that he got tired at work, and if for me rest is a sport, active rest, then for him it’s a sofa. 2 years ago I bought a small house in a village in Karelia. Since childhood, I did not want to live in a big city, Moscow strained me. They decided that I quit my job (the business collapsed, most likely due to lack of time for it, because I gave Tema all the time, I worked in a large bank) and go to the village, arrange my child for school, look for a job ... and after 2 months Theme is coming. He arrived only a year later. During this year, I myself coped with all the life in the village, which, by the way, is difficult for an unusual urban person, especially in winter. My husband and I managed to quarrel even on the phone. He promised that when he arrived, he would make all the necessary arrangements, repair everything, install plumbing, and so on. As a result, I had to do a lot myself, and what he did - to redo or finish. All our life together, I DRAG him along with me, while he is offended that I can do something better than him, I know more about something than he does, he does not seek to catch up and overtake me, but tries to throw me off down. My nerves are shaking, I want to cry, scream, sob. I've started drinking sometimes! We have constant scandals, once a week, or even more often, but the child sees them! !! According to my story, you might think that he is a monster in general, but it is not. He loves my son very much, loves him like his own, many, and I myself often simply forget that he is not his own by blood. He will never change, he will never betray. He is quite an erudite person, it is interesting to communicate with him. These qualities of his always stopped me when I wanted to get a divorce. I also love him, although ... I doubt it already. I guess I just remember the happy moments of life before the wedding ... Yesterday, while he was at work, I started repairing the floor in the hallway, which he had been going to do for 2 weeks and did not start at all. Made a scandal. In his opinion, I specifically started the repair until he was gone, not in order to make the floor, but in order to humiliate him, insult his manhood!!! Those. I specifically do the floor myself to show him that I do it, but he did not. I insulted him with this, I don’t respect him, we have a matriarchy, and in general I’m a man in a skirt and I don’t know how to be a girl, I look like a man, I dress too, I do everything wrong, not right and at the wrong time. I distributed the time incorrectly, I had to wait for it from work and do it together. Only now I have already gone through this, if I had waited for him, he would either have said that he was tired, or that he lacks nails / bolts / eggs are in the way and let's do it tomorrow / the day after tomorrow / in a week / next year ... And in general this my idea is to live in the village, and it's not his fault that I can't do it. And then he will complain that he is depressed, because I humiliated him and he cannot do anything because of this. Do I really need to do without sex until next spring so as not to inadvertently humiliate such a sensitive nature. HELP!!! I do not know what to do!!! I'm tired of doing everything for him and not getting anything in return! I want to divorce not the first time, but. as soon as you really quarrel with him, breakfasts in bed begin, flowers ... it’s worth reconciling - everything returns to its original place. Tired of reproaches, insults, screams. Building a family life, I practically burned all my bridges. I gave up my hobbies and hobbies, I don’t communicate much with old friends ... this is a vicious circle, it seems that he drove me into it so that I wouldn’t get away from it. The house in the village is a jointly acquired property, I don’t want to go to Moscow, but I can’t drive him away (although the house was bought entirely with my money, but this cannot be proven). Due to constant stress and swearing, I began to look much worse, got fat, my nerves were not to hell. I don’t want to live, let alone start everything from scratch. And like any woman, there is hope that everything will change for the better. He reproaches me for not having enough rest, that my nerves are failing because I have not ridden a bike for a long time, did not go fishing and did not swim. And if I suddenly remember about my hobbies, about the same fishing, then another batch of reproaches begins on the topic of useless pastime. I have lost my life energy and I do not have the strength to start life anew, but I understand that it is unlikely that anything will get better, and if you decide to get a divorce, then you need to do it now and not look back. But I know that if I quarrel with my husband and leave, he will immediately pretend that everything has changed, promise that there will be no more and I will believe again. HELP ME!!!
Happy New Year to you my loves!
Someone got an iPhone as a gift, and drunken screams for someone... We will deal with this injustice.
Screaming, humiliation and insults in the family are often underestimated. It seems that this is nonsense, because everyone is yelling, going crazy and calming down. But that's just how it seems. If a man began to insult, humiliate or raise his voice - these are very alarming calls. They ring about the beginning of the end of your relationship. This is your last opportunity to make things right, and if that's not possible, get out of the relationship with minimal losses before it's too late.
Reasons why a man yells, insults and humiliates a woman
asserts itself. At work or in the circle of acquaintances, he is not respected, and he takes revenge on those who are weaker and cannot hit him back. Or you are more successful in life than him and with his cries he is trying to show who is the boss in the house. First of all, to yourself.
you yourself insult him, humiliate him, raise your voice and try to correct him, because he is not like he should be. Even if you do not say rude words, then keep in mind that for a man, humiliation can be different. For example, you try to control him, lisp in public, criticize “on the case”, put pressure on guilt and pity, joke about his qualities and sexual abilities, and so on. The list can be long and in many ways unexpected.
you didn't fight back in your time. Once it all started with small, not very pleasant, but not too offensive name-calling, raising your voice, barely noticeable criticism of you and other little things that not every woman can notice and pay attention to. Read more about such small signs, as well as why this happens and what to do about it, read the article. You were silent and pretended that everything was in order, because you did not want to swear over trifles. Then he became bolder, and you endured, because “at that time, because of this, she kept silent, this time it will be strange and illogical to be indignant, I’m afraid to seem like a fool.” He understood that with you it is possible and nothing will happen to him for it. Relaxed and things went too far.
his inferiority complex. He considers himself a nonentity, and so that you do not leave him, he is trying to morally kill you. He says that no one needs you besides him, all crooked and slanting, another in his place would have long ago taken a mistress or left you altogether, but for some reason he endures.
you are too dependent on it. morally and/or financially. A man understands that you won’t get away from him, you won’t have anything to live on, you won’t refuse his benefits, and he takes advantage of his position, tyrannizes you for everything.
he takes revenge on you. For insults or betrayals, for parting with him, for the fact that you are somehow cooler than him. Maybe he is offended by the whole world and offends everyone who gets in his way, and you just fell under the distribution.
Whatever the reason, it is important to stop insults URGENTLY at ANY cost. After all, where they offend - there they will start to beat, and where they beat - sooner or later they will finish. And if they don’t, then respect, passion and love for each other will disappear, they will be replaced by resentment, disappointment and hatred. You probably don't want it. So let's decide what to do with it.
How exactly NOT to respond to his insults
🚫 insult back. This will aggravate the situation and lead to a break;
🚫 threaten to break up and not do it. He will understand that the price of your word and dignity is zero;
🚫 make demands in a hysterical outburst. He is unlikely to hear them, and definitely will not take them seriously, so you must first wait until everyone calms down;
🚫 hope that this will pass and the situation will somehow change itself. Will not change! Your intervention is needed;
🚫 to justify him: “well, he drank, what a demand from a drunk”, “yes, his boss brought him, I won’t be here with my grievances”, “he has a frantic temperament, he will scream and cool down”, “it’s my own fault, not so I cooked / stroked / looked at ”and so on. There are no and cannot be excuses for insults! He is an adult and is able to be responsible for his actions, and even control himself;
🚫 complain to parents, relatives, friends and random passers-by. You then forgive him, but they do not. Read more about the dangers of complaining about your husband.
How to respond to insults from a man
0. If you yourself have a mustache - swear, yell at him and let go of his barbs.
This is not the place for a family! Irony and sarcasm destroy relationships no worse than alcoholism and lovers. Laugh at anything with him, but not at each other and not at what is dear to another. Then the fun will strengthen your relationship.
Start changing, even if you think that he deserved insults for his behavior. Moreover, ask him to control and evaluate your efforts in working on yourself. Say, “Honey, I realized how wrong I was. Please forgive me. There should be no obscene abuse and humiliation in the family, because we are the closest and most loving people to each other. We must be able to negotiate in a human way. From now on, I promise not to call you these terrible words, for which I am then very ashamed, and not to raise my voice. Let's come up with a punishment for me if I break. And a reward for me if I don’t utter a single offensive word about you for a month.
If you come up with a good enough reward and an unpleasant punishment, then the method will work. Then extend the experiment for six months. When he sees that you are trying your best and holding back where you would have given him a three-story one before, he will automatically begin to monitor his speech. After all, he will feel respect and love in your efforts.
1. It's just starting to show up, and it's not your fault.
A man sometimes began to behave ruder than usual, raise his voice at you or the children, make ambiguous jokes about you, not even wanting to offend you, just by accident.
Do not under any circumstances let this go! Otherwise it will get worse.
For example, he affectionately patted you on the stomach and called you a “little hippo.” Anxiety! Very likely, "fat cow" is just around the corner, regardless of your weight. Therefore, inflate your lips in a picturesque way and grumble: “Why are you calling me that, I don’t like such a nickname. I like the way you used to call me..."
He raised his voice at you. Don't hide your emotions, you don't like it, do you? Show him your upset face and say, “I can’t help it, but when I get yelled at, I feel like crying or yelling back. And I certainly can't understand what they're saying to me. I don't get the point. Therefore, please speak calmly, I perceive it much better and will be able to hear you.
He swore in front of you. Not at you, but simply used an obscene expression in your presence. If you endure this, your rating in his eyes will automatically drop a little, and in the end, mats will fall on you already. Therefore, tell him (first wait until you are alone): “I am very unpleasant such words from you, they upset me and spoil my mood. I don't know why I'm so sensitive. Others are indifferent to me, I react less to them, and you are my closest person, which is probably why such a strong reaction. Do not swear, please, in front of me, if it's not difficult for you.
2. He's in trouble, he lashes out at you.
The main thing here is not to try to endure, not to hope that over time everything will settle down and he will calm down. He will get used to being yelled at, and he will no longer need reasons. Don't learn later.
And even more so, do not try to be softer and fluffier with him in response to insults! With an emphatically tender attitude, you want to support him, smooth out his difficulties and not pay attention to temporary mood swings, and he develops a false reflex that if he wants an affectionate wife, you need to bark at her.
And certainly insulting him in response is not an option at all and not the support of a loving wife.
Instead, at the first irritable tone, tell him, “Darling, I understand that you are having some difficulties right now. I know perfectly well that you will cope with everything, because you always coped and generally well done! But I can't bear it if you take it out on me. This is unfair and offends me to the core. Tell me how to relax you. How do you want me to relieve your stress? I know a lot of nice ways…”
3. You have started all this, and he is already swearing and swearing at you with might and main.
Either he asserts himself for a long time at your expense, is offended by the whole world, takes revenge on you or you are too dependent on him ... GUARD! We need urgent sanctions!
Set boundaries. Say: “I love you and I understand that it is hard for you. But I will not tolerate indecent behavior in my address from anyone, especially from the closest and beloved person. The next time I hear even one hurtful word from you, you and I won't talk for 3 days. If this happens again, we will part for 2 weeks. But if this does not help, after that we will part forever.
Moreover, he should be the first to put up with you after 3 days and after 2 weeks. Waiting for you to roll yourself? Let it wait! Until he appears with flowers and apologies, you cannot put up with him. Because he doesn't really need you. If he needs to try to earn your favor, then he will appreciate him much more, and he will try not to bring him to parting.
If he brought it to the third time, then you part with him. Reacts indifferently - so be it. If he knocks on your doorstep, does things (helps you and your parents, takes them away, brings them, gives money, treats your cat, gets your brother a job) and tries in every possible way to win you over again, then if you wish, you can forgive him for the last time, but at least in 2-3 months, so that he has time to really change. Let him try his best! And he will understand that it is much easier and cheaper not to mow than to rake later. It will come to him that he really risks losing you, and only then will he overestimate your role in his life.
The fourth time, of course, should not be. After all, some men, by nature prone to sadism, get married very quickly on purpose (in the very first months they say: “You are my destiny, as you saw, you immediately understood”) and have a child so that the woman could not escape. First sweethearts, and then show their true nature. Therefore, the borders must be ironclad. If you have already run into a tyrant, at least you will leave with minimal losses. And you will be more selective in the future.
If he asserts himself at your expense and reproaches you, although you are more successful than him, then there is an interesting way to stop this. Start praising and admiring him. Give thanks for what he does (along with setting boundaries, of course). After all, in such a perverted way, he may be trying to get respect and love from you. And if you are more successful than him, then it is difficult for you to respect him, and there is nothing more to admire, because you are cooler. Search and find reasons. Here, of course, thorough work is needed, because first of all he must be forgiven for previous offenses.
4. "Excuses".
First, he insulted you drunk or in a narcotic frenzy. By themselves, these bad habits do not bode well. If you put up with it - your business. But for insults, this cannot be an excuse! He will zatyukat you, and of course over time will start to beat. Therefore, it is urgent to stop the disgrace.
Wait until he's sober and tell him, "I don't like your booze, but I respect you and leave it up to you to decide whether or not to drink. But I will not tolerate any insults, and your inadequate condition is not a good reason. Therefore, if you cannot control yourself after drinking, then you will have to part with either alcohol or me.
In this case, you yourself will have to completely abandon alcohol, wine gatherings with friends and parties in bars. The law in the family should apply to everyone, especially if it is a dry law. Otherwise, he will feel lonely and flawed, everyone can, but he can’t. The consequences are unpredictable.
And here again, it is important not to play the game "I left to return." He chooses vodka - let him live with it. Otherwise, you will lose yourself and then you will not collect the pieces.
Similar behavior with his explosive temperament. Let them learn to take care of themselves. He is an adult and does not yell at the boss, no matter how he pisses him off? Is there at least one person in the world with whom he chooses expressions? It means that he is quite capable of controlling himself. Why are you worse than his boss?
If he yells at everyone indiscriminately, then it is obvious that he is inadequate. RUN!!! To begin with, of course, you can suffer with a psychologist if your husband agrees to contact him. It helps some, although the path is not easy.
Another common excuse is like a woman you are the one to blame. The borscht is sour, the arrow on the trousers is uneven, it didn’t wake me up in the morning, I didn’t smile at the meeting, it gave me a reason for jealousy. This is not a reason to yell and humiliate! If someone does not like something, then usually people talk and agree on a human way, instead of tyrannizing the other. Therefore, the solution is the same as in the previous options.
A separate speech if he is jealous for no reason. For example, someone molested you and you rejected the insolent person, your man saw this or you yourself told him. And then a surprise - he gets angry and says: "If a woman is harassed, then she gave a reason." Many make a mistake and begin to justify themselves to him, to fawn and convince him of their loyalty. But he insulted you with his distrust!
What will happen if you respond to insults with affection, I already wrote at the very beginning of the article. Instead, say, “You are an amazing worthy man. Only a worthy woman can be next to you. If you think that I am unworthy, then I will immediately vacate this place next to you so that the one you consider more worthy can take it. So you doubt me?"
About jealousy in a relationship and how to deal with it if you or he is jealous - I will write in future articles. So sign up for whatever suits you.
Women often find themselves in situations where men raise their voices and start yelling at them. The reasons can be different, from a poorly ironed shirt to betrayal on her part. Even the smallest detail can cause irritation in men, which causes him a nervous breakdown. Sometimes these screams can end badly for both. Remember those cases when, after screaming, men more than once raised their hands to women. Who is lucky in this situation? Nobody. The woman has bruises at best, and the man got a warning from the police if he was lucky. More than once this was followed by divorces or litigation, which ended badly for men.
There is indeed a lot of screaming in our homes today. The man screams, the woman becomes numb, begins to be afraid of him and behave inappropriately.
Psychologists often justify men, they say, they were in a state of passion. When men yell at women, this is not the best weapon, although it is effective.
So what is a cry and how to interpret it correctly? A cry is a reaction of a man or woman to some external stimulus.
The reason for the cry may be the inability to influence the woman and achieve what he wants. Since the cry is the most powerful psychological weapon, which can be compared with physical punishment. A frightening cry in a woman causes a strong inhibition in the cerebral cortex, after which the brain cannot perform accurate differentiation. And this operation is one of the most important aspects from the point of view of physiology.
In animals, the cry symbolizes the superiority of one animal over another. Lions, for example, eliminate their opponent with powerful, heartbreaking screams. And this is normal among people too. When men scream, this is exactly the same statement as among animals. When they yell at women, this, according to psychologists, leads to the destruction of their psyche. In the aftermath, the woman runs to her best friend. She tells her everything in the smallest detail, hoping to find understanding and peace. But her friend must help her deal with the situation. The main thing is not to smack the fever and calmly find out the reasons for the man's cry, what caused it. At this point, it is necessary that she help her calm down and improve relations with her husband, as this is no small matter. What does it mean to fix? It is to understand yourself and look at yourself from the outside. Maybe the woman herself in some situations behaved incorrectly and is now reaping the fruits of her actions or words? All women are afraid of the screams of men, but sometimes they themselves are not averse to shouting, which provokes men to bad actions in the future. And sometimes they scream in response to some women's questions that they do not want to answer. So, for example, about any delays at work or suspicious calls on his mobile phone. When men yell at women, they are trying to protect themselves and evade the answer. Everyone has long known that the best defense is an attack, so they use it to somehow defend themselves. Only now, if they do this, then they definitely have a stigma in the cannon, as they say.
Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook and In contact with
Not only the appearance draws the image of a person, but also his voice. After all, the way we speak depends on the characteristics of our psyche and, of course, on our mood.
website I decided to find out how the way we speak reflects the characteristics of our personality and correlates with how we are perceived.
Sometimes we all meet lovers of lisp, whose voice is like from a cartoon. To someone who speaks like this, it may seem cute, but for others, such a manner of speech is associated with duplicity, a desire to please everyone, and even passive aggression. And it also seems that a person needs something from you.
This manner of speech causes great discomfort in the listener, so he strives to quickly end the conversation.
Often a steely voice happens to people whose profession is connected with commanding people(teachers, big bosses and military), so they just used to talk like that. It is also found in those who love to give orders in life and do not tolerate objections.
There are usually several reasons for people to talk quietly:
- They are unsure of themselves and feel uncomfortable in the company.
- As children, their parents constantly hissed at them: “Be quiet!” They have formed an attitude that if they speak loudly, they will interfere with someone, they will seem intrusive.
- They are tired of life, they do not have enough energy, they do not want to be active.
It may seem that those who are self-confident speak in raised tones. Such people are counting on this - they often hide in this way their insecurity, fear of being misunderstood and unheard. They want to draw attention to themselves and add weight.
There can be several reasons for the slow speech of the interlocutor:
- A person is used to weighing every word so as not to make mistakes. He is usually a little slow, but serious and thorough.
- He is arrogant and wants to draw attention to his speech. He does not care at all that the interlocutor's eyes are already sticking together.
- In some cases, slow speech indicates depression, despondency, grief, or fatigue.
Most likely, the lover of fast talking is assertive by temperament - choleric or sanguine, he reacts quickly to everything.
- Or it could be that the person is not sure of himself and thinks that others are not interested in listening to him. And he tries to finish the thought faster.
- As in the case of loud-speaking people, it is believed that lovers of chattering grew up in large families and tried to express their whole idea before they were interrupted by one of the brothers and sisters.
- Well, or a person is angry at something, experiencing stress.
Bass-speaking men are liked by ladies, and women with a deep voice are considered very attractive. Usually we call such voices "velvet" or "voluminous" - they are really pleasant to the ear and are associated with maturity, authority and stability.
Try never to do this. Don't let yourself do it. This shows our own ignorance, which we are. But it also brings negative results. I will share one of them.
If a girl allows herself to raise her voice to her man, then expect the relationship to cool sharply between you. A man, consciously or unconsciously, will move away from you, close up. That is why many men leave their wives, go to garages, start drinking or become heavily involved in work at best. This is because a man lacks love, care and affection from a woman. He does not need another man next to him, he needs femininity next to him!
By pushing him away, you will receive less attention, which will make you angry, there will be even more accumulating discontent that will pour out on a man in one form or another, even if you are silent - he will feel it. Which will alienate him even more. Only a very strong man who develops spiritually will be able to oppose something to this, and then it will be extremely difficult for him, because. The energy of a woman is much stronger than that of a man. And there are very few men who develop spiritually now, so the consequences will be deplorable.
When a man is not inspired by femininity, when next to him he begins to feel a man (aggression, rudeness is characteristic of men), he will look for this femininity on the side. Therefore, the more often girls show masculine qualities, the faster they themselves ruin the family, they themselves push the man to look for someone on the side to make up for the missing aspects. Once again and again, a man needs a feminine girl by his side, not a rude man!
Moreover, a man's need for sexual pleasure is high, and if a girl pushes him away from her, then sexual desire will fall, but it does not go anywhere, and the man will doubly intensely, perhaps without even realizing it, will look at others, directing his attention there. . You will no longer be that one goddess for him.
We are used to raising our voices, just a little, something wrong, and we learn this from childhood, when our parents could scold us or when we saw it somewhere on the street.
Therefore, it doesn’t matter what was the reason, if you raise your voice, know, girls, you yourself are destroying self-love. At these moments, you should not arouse aggression in yourself, but cry. Not a single man can resist tears, and sooner or later he will hear you, apologize, correct himself. But if you are aggressive at this moment, then this is very, very bad. Aggression may be internal. You can even say nothing if you have this feeling inside, the man will feel it unconsciously.
If this happens inside you, dear girls, then let it stay inside you, than splash out on a man. Let him feel unconsciously, but will not consciously promote this negative trend.
If we are accustomed to shouting, to be aggressive inside, then this tendency is not very easy to remove. And if we want happiness in a relationship, then we need to seriously approach this issue and work on ourselves, on our reactions, worldview, because. we will not be able to avoid all the factors and situations that provoke us.
As soon as we notice a rising wave of discontent inside ourselves, it is important to stop feeding it and get distracted by something. For example, start monitoring your breathing, the flow of air entering and leaving the nostrils. I often do this practice in yoga classes to develop the habit of observing. If there is no such habit, then when it starts to carry us, it will be very difficult to switch, we will be carried away and again shouting, scolding, etc.
The second thing we can do at the moment when negative emotions wake up inside us is to start wishing happiness inside ourselves for the one we are annoyed with, for what we don’t like. This practice is much more powerful, but also more difficult to make. There are a lot of grievances inside us, and our egoism will not allow us to do it. He will say, we were offended, why should I also wish for happiness. But if you don't, you will follow a pattern that, as we have seen, will not lead to anything good. Therefore, try to overcome your selfishness and wish happiness to your beloved, your soulmate. Is your selfishness stronger than the feeling of love?
For both it can be practice, patience. For a man, this shows how stable his consciousness is. For a girl, how feminine she is! And these are very important factors in relation to men and women.