Each of us has our own idea of love, but all the people of the world agree on one thing - this is the most wonderful feeling that a person can experience.
In fact, the feeling of love has several not the most pleasant subtypes. If you are interested in knowing which one your relationship belongs to, then you should read our article.
1. Empty love
This type of relationship is very easy to get into, but extremely difficult to get out of. Experiencing “empty” love, each of you feels as if some important link is missing in the relationship.
Do not flatter yourself, this important link is actually love! In empty relationships, which only occasionally bring happiness and emotions, there is not a drop of love.
Parting with such a person can be very difficult - friendship, habit or respect can bind you. But it is still necessary to do so.
2. Impulsive love
Such relationships live only at the expense of adrenaline. If you do not experience vivid sensations, impressions, acquaintances or trips, then you are incredibly bored with this person.
Perhaps both of you have already become addicted to the desire for new adventure and it will be difficult for you to get rid of this lifestyle.
If you manage to cope with the thirst for eternal “feeding” with bright emotions, then you will get to know each other better and your relationship will become full-fledged.
3. One-sided love
The most painful type is unrequited love, when your feelings and care are not appreciated. This state of affairs is disappointing and devastating at the same time.
Don't let this type of love take over you. Remember that by committing yourself to a person who does not need it, you may miss the chance of true love.
4. Manipulative love
No less dangerous than the previous type. Because of this kind of love, people forget how to be themselves and become more like an obedient toy.
How to understand that you are being manipulated? The main sign is if you often change your mind in such a way that it is consistent with your partner. This should be your main wake up call.
5. Unbalanced love
Unbalanced love means that in your relationship you have a certain role - and most often the role of submitting.
If you feel like a child being pointed out by an adult, point it out to your partner immediately. If you do not do this, then you risk either completely breaking down under the weight of the opinion of your chosen one, or eventually exploding with discontent.
6. Platonic love
In simple words, this is the love that we feel for people with whom we do not want to have a sexual relationship.
Our parents, other relatives and family members, friends and just nice colleagues, classmates and sports mates - they are all potential objects of platonic love.
7. Passionate love
Imagine a quiet field that is suddenly attacked by a violent thunderstorm with lightning, rain, thunder and hail - this is how passionate love comes, the darling of romance novels and films.
As you might have guessed, passionate love is closely intertwined with sex, fueled by it and is the peak of the reunion of a man and a woman.
8. True love
You can write whole books about it or just keep quiet and enjoy. We will only say that this is a full and harmonious love, the purest and brightest feeling that can be between a man and a woman who merge together in order to become a Family.
Darina KataevaLove ... One word, and so much meaning. Each person has a variety of impressions and associations associated with it. This feeling is very gentle, pleasant, elusive and familiar to everyone. For some, this is a daily routine, for others it is a whole life. But what is the meaning of love? Why do men and women need it? And how can you find it in your heart?
4 types of love
Since ancient times, people experiencing a new and incomprehensible feeling for them have tried to find an explanation for it. Some were looking for reasons, others sought to determine its type. The most common classification is the one proposed by Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher.
Agape
Philosophers and psychologists call this type of love the most noble. The very word "agape" or "agapi" is Greek. It has no analogue in Russian, so agape translators either replace it with “love” or leave it in its previous form.
To distinctive traits agape refers to:
- self-sacrifice. For the sake of the object of his love, a person is ready for anything, even to the detriment of himself.
- Close connection between mind and heart. If it indicates the involvement of emotions and fleeting sensations, agape implies the involvement of the mind. However, it is not insensitive love, because in this case agape would be cold justice.
- bestowing love. Agape is a feeling that prompts you to do, not to accept. By expressing this feeling, you will not even think about expecting something in return.
- Firmness of principles. Feelings in agape are optional. Even if the object of love does not deserve it, agape encourages you to stick to your principles and still show love. In fact, agape itself is a principle for life.
The scope of agape is quite wide. It has found its embodiment in relationships with other people, in philosophical concepts, in literature and even in religion. In all its manifestations, agape remains a sublime, beautiful feeling, which is not so easy to manifest. Sometimes you even have to learn to show agape love. Although for some this type is the personification of negative qualities and principles. Some are guided by what will bring them benefit and begin to love something or someone.
Philia
Love-philia finds a vivid manifestation in. This is a durable quality, which is a conscious choice of a person.
To distinctive characteristics Philia refers to:
- Not based on external. Filia focuses on the positive qualities of a person.
- Not limitless. Agape is a long-lasting and lasting love, since its basis is principles. Philia often occurs between individuals who attract each other with their character and behavior. Therefore, if a person changes and ceases to satisfy us emotionally, there will be no trace of philia.
- Occurs over time. It takes time for the love of philia to appear between people. It is necessary to get to know each other, to understand how similar your opinions are, and where they differ.
- Guided by reason. Philia is due to the personal choice of a person, it is not spontaneous, it can be controlled.
- No double standards. Philia has no personalities and hypocrisy. She is not condescending towards her friends, being strict towards other people.
When translating the word "filia" from Greek in Russian, expressions are often found: “How dear are you to me?”, Or “I respect you!”. This indicates a reasonable affection that exists between friends.
Storge
What a blessing to belong. The bonds that unite its members are quite strong. The ancient Greeks called them storge. Given love inextricably linked with kindred feelings.
To distinctive characteristics storge refers to:
- Shows up even when you don't deserve it. Storge is a pretty strong feeling. Mothers experience it even for those children who, from the outside, seem to not deserve it.
- Habit. Storge is one of those qualities that are developed over time in the family circle. As a result, there is a strong attachment between relatives.
- Tenderness. Storga is characterized by the manifestation of care, attention and tenderness for a loved one, even to the detriment of himself.
- Full openness. Storge doesn't change even when we know everything about the other person, even their flaws.
The lack of storge is expressed in the fact that women have an abortion or abandon their children, others experience a reluctance to take care of elderly parents. Recently, less and less storge is seen in the hearts of people.
Eros
Sensual love is the main distinguishing feature Eros. All-consuming, uncontainable and uncontrollable. Eros is characteristic of young people who, due to their inexperience, go headlong into the object of their unbridled love. This is love between a man and a woman.
To distinctive characteristics eros refers to:
- Feeling out of control. Eros love comes suddenly and does not leave even with the efforts of the mind.
- Not durable. Although eros occurs between a man and a woman, this type of love quickly leaves the couple.
- Can move into another type of love. If partners experience sensual love towards each other, then next stage- Love. They get to know each other, everything suits them, and as a result they marry. However, it is better that it be the other way around in a relationship, since sensual love is blind.
- Turns a blind eye to imperfections.
- fickle. Eros rises and falls. She does not have stability.
These are the 4 main types of love that were identified in Greek philosophy.
Additional types of love
The ancient Greek philosophers identified 3 additional types of love.
Mania
This love is also called obsession. It is not characteristic of normal relationships, rather, it is a departure from the norm. This love is based on jealousy. The person who experiences it believes that only he has the right to possess the object of his love. Such love leads to sad consequences, and even to the human side.
pragma
This love is closely related to the efforts of the mind and thoughts. People who experience it do not think more about their feelings, but about how profitable or convenient it is for them to express them. Already after the man or woman is trying to figure out what they will get as a result of such a relationship. Such rational love is unnatural. People still need to add feelings to reason, otherwise love will be cold and short-lived, even though it is based on the efforts of our thoughts. is not the result of pragma. More like calculated love. Young people are not always united by material gain in such love. Often pragma appears if a man and a woman are satisfied with other areas of life, everything suits them, and they are ready for a long-term relationship.
Ludus
Another form of "abnormal" love that people can experience. Ludus is based only on sexual desire. About no reason or high human qualities there is no question here.
Changing the concept of love
Over time, a mixture of Greek words began, each of the philosophers singled out different types love, considering them more important. J. A. Lee singled out eros, ludus and storge as three main types, and agape, mania and pragma as feelings that arise as a result of mixing.
V. S. Solovyov also carefully studied love and its types. He divided this feeling into these three types:
- The love that gives. The main manifestation of this type of love is observed in parents, in particular in mothers for a child. This type of love is sacrificial, the mother is ready to do anything for the sake of the baby. Protection, care, tenderness - all these are the characteristics of this love. In return, parents do not require anything. The main quality in this type is pity.
- Love that gets. Children experience such ascending love towards their parents. Their affection is in response to the feelings of loved ones. This love is characterized by respect and reverence.
- Love that both gives and receives. Relationships between spouses are a vivid manifestation of this kind of love. They are united by feelings, qualities, and relationships. This love is quite complex, as it is based on both principles and deep emotional attachment.
Since ancient times, it has changed and was perceived by others in different ways, depending on the accepted norms and rules in society. Some still cannot give a clear definition to this complex and deep feeling. For some it's chemistry, for others it's an uncontrollable disease. Depending on the object of your love, the strength of feelings and motives, the characteristics of this concept also change. It is obvious that in its pure form it does not manifest itself in the heart, a person, rather it is a spicy mixture of experienced feelings and qualities.
February 17, 2014, 14:11Today, between a man and a woman, only one form does not necessarily take - the conclusion of an official marriage for many years. Although many still choose a traditional family and a classic wedding, the forms of partnership between men and women are more diverse. People may live without official marriage registration (“civil marriage”), may not live in the same territory (“guest marriage”), may experience 2 or more partners. The last form of partnership is called “polyamory”.
Variety of relationships between a man and a woman
Many members of the younger generation are skeptical about the traditional family or classic weddings organized by their parents and grandparents. They believe that it is necessary to find such forms of relations between a man and a woman that will not bring suffering and will not die from everyday problems or other disagreements. Unlike the older generation, which critically perceives, for example, "civil marriages", young people believe that the main thing is mutual understanding.
It is believed that relationships without registration are beneficial for men. And this statement is not unfounded - after all, women are more striving for stability and guarantees of the future for children. But not all women want to have children, and therefore do not seek marriage. Just like men, they may be satisfied with other forms of relationships. But women are more afraid of public condemnation in frivolity and licentiousness.
One of the new and "modern" forms of relationships is polyamory - the ability of a person to love not one, but two or three. This is not cheating - unlike cheaters, polyamorous partners are aware of each other's existence, and they are fine with that. Polyamory attracts young people with honesty - no more cheating on a spouse or partner as he or she agrees to have a third or fourth party.
Polyamory differs significantly from classical love triangle based on treason or unrequited love. Some people can love several men or several women simply because of their psychological characteristics. And if all sides of the "love polygon" willingly agree with this, then partners can avoid suffering.
Within polyamory, the following types of relationships are distinguished:
- one partner is dating two others who are unrelated. At the same time, everyone knows about the existence of each other;
- three partners meet each other;
- "square" - four partners meeting each other;
- "open marriage" - the partners are in official marriages, but at the same time they meet with other partners with the consent of the other.
Even with the openness of polyamory, there is still room for jealousy. One of the partners can easily reproach the other for not paying enough attention to him, and the third, on the contrary, too much. If jealousy becomes obsessive, then this partner is unlikely to be satisfied with such & types of relationships. With a high probability, he will come out of the "love polygon".
One of the partners may discover a tendency to polyamory in a few years or decades happy marriage. If betrayal is unacceptable for him, but at the same time he continues to love his spouse, then he can offer the option of an “open union”. The other partner may agree or refuse and end the marriage with the polyamorous partner.
Of course, polyamory does not always suit both partners. A polyamorous union will be happy if all its members are able to have deep feelings for several people, do not limit themselves to too strict limits, and prefer to be honest with their partner. If a man or woman who is officially married is open to romantic experiments, then their partner either accepts it or leaves.
Members of the older generation are suspicious of polyamory, as well as other types of relationships between a man and a woman. Therefore, a man who prefers "civil marriage" is condemned for irresponsibility. And a woman who is in a polyamorous union - for frivolity and promiscuity. For previous generations, there was only official marriage for the joint upbringing of children. Young people believe that the official marriage union limits men and women. Many young men and women often cannot understand how it is possible to live 40-50 years with the same person and not get bored with each other.
One of the common explanations for the interest in polyamory is the lack of parental warmth in childhood. Both men and women may feel that one partner cannot give them enough acceptance, respect, and warmth. Therefore, they have several lovers or mistresses, even while being married.
There are also legal difficulties in modern unions. For example, a partner in civil marriage» cannot claim the other partner's property in the event of his death. It's the same with polyamory - there are many problems associated with child custody or adoption.
Despite the popularity of "open" unions, not all partners are ready to admit that they are members of them. Basically, they are afraid that their older relatives will not understand them - after all, they do not always easily accept new trends. In addition, polyamorous unions do not have legal status.