Many, if not all, have trouble communicating with others. Someone cannot make a new acquaintance, someone cannot maintain friendship for a long time, someone constantly has awkward pauses during a conversation due to the inability to maintain a conversation.
How to become a sociable and interesting person? There are many tips that are easy to put into practice. Over time, you will learn to find a common language with any person and will do it easily and naturally.
Tips for becoming more outgoing, positive, and overcoming modesty
1 - Don't force things. You don't need much to get to know each other, it's enough to see a person and you already know each other. Your acquaintance should be consistent, unobtrusive:
- for the first contact, it is enough to say hello, shake hands, introduce yourself and ask for a name. At the same time, you must behave moderately confidently;
- find common topics for conversation;
- after you have talked a little on simple, general topics, you can already deepen communication, touch on topics that are interesting to you or your interlocutor;
- only after all this you can ask questions about life, family, relationships.
This will help you understand how to become open and very sociable. Do not force events and ask personal questions in the first minutes of communication. A person cannot open up just like that, for this some time must pass.
2 - Know how to listen. Many people like to brag about successes, children, work, or complain about problems. After all, everyone knows that sometimes you need to speak out to make it easier or vice versa, so that others praise, rejoice with you. To be sociable, you must show the interlocutor that you know how to listen, while you must ask questions, comment.
3 - There is something in common between communicating people: a problem, an interest, a hobby, an idea. You need to learn to find this common ground in order to keep the conversation going, sharing experiences and opinions.
In fact, finding this common can be difficult, because interests can be both explicit and hidden. For example, young mothers have clear interests - feeding, raising, dressing babies, students - classes, schedules, completing tasks. A hidden interest may simply be a desire to talk to someone, to dispel boredom.
In order to easily make friends, find a common language even with people completely different from you, and you need to find common ground. It may turn out that you love the same sport or breed some animals. When communicating, do not limit the topic for conversation, let the interlocutor speak out. You can ask leading conversations, such as how he spent the weekend. After all, as you know, people devote their free time to their hobbies.
4 - Become useful to the interlocutor. It is important not only to find something in common with a person, but also to be useful to him in this matter.
5 - Be moderately self-confident. People around you can be repulsed if you hesitate, you can’t even connect two words, or vice versa, you expose yourself in the brightest light. You can get into stupid situations and look far from being a smart and erudite person.
You must know your worth, you must understand what level you are at, and be sure to demonstrate this to your interlocutor. In fact, this is almost the most important thing in the question of how to become a sociable girl or guy.
6 - Take the initiative. Many are annoyed when a person only supports the topic of conversation that the interlocutor imposes on him.
He agrees with everything, listens to everything and does not even take the initiative to change the subject.
In fact, it can be annoying. Try at least occasionally to insist on topics that are interesting to you. You have to show that although you don’t understand anything about politics that your interlocutor likes, you can tell a lot of interesting and useful things about archeology.
7 - Be a smart conversationalist. You must be helpful to the interlocutor. It is not enough that you just listen. You need to keep the conversation going, and without proper knowledge, you won't be able to do that. Today the mind is highly valued as never before. Of course, if you have a sporty pumped-up body, this is good, and it will attract attention. However, communication with a frail know-it-all will be a priority than with a stupid jock.
8 - Be smart. In friendly companies they often compete in wit, and laughter always reigns in them. By making people smile, you not only make them happy, but also show how sweet and friendly you are.
Laughter will help you become friendlier and more sociable in the eyes of others. They will reach out to you, because basically people don’t like bores, they don’t like abstruse phrases and pre-prepared templates. A person should be witty at the moment, based on the situation.
9 - Don't be a misanthrope. A misanthrope is a person who sees only flaws in others. This is a very harmful character trait that prevents you from understanding how to become a sociable person, moreover, it does not allow you to do this. Fight misanthropy.
Misanthropes suffer from shyness. Therefore, if you want to become bolder, look for dignity in people, try to get to know others better, take an interest in their lives. And you will understand that there are very good people with whom it is not only pleasant to talk, but you can learn something useful from them.
11 - Know how to translate negative moments into a joke. Nobody's perfect. During communication, the interlocutor may accidentally offend you. You must develop in yourself the quality not to be offended by trifles and not to react to them with rudeness. Of course, you should not act as if you are not offended by barbs in your address. On the contrary, show that you are hurt, but at the same time forgave the interlocutor. Next time he won't make such mistakes again.
12 - Hide the fact that you need to communicate. People can be annoyed and frightened off by excessive obsession with communication, and indeed any obsession. Try to be careful and tactful.
13 - People around notice in a person his peculiarity. You have it too. Keep track of what attracts attention the most in you - an unusual haircut, education, social circle. The next time you meet, start with your highlight.
How to become a more sociable and liberated girl?
Above we have offered many tips that are suitable for both men and women. However, female psychology is a little different from male psychology, so we offer some tips for girls that will help them understand how to become sociable and not be shy.
The girl is much more emotional than the man. Therefore, brighter and livelier emotions are expected from the weaker half of humanity: laughter, tears, delight. If a woman does not show emotions, she looks dry and callous, incapable of feeling. These people receive little attention.
Another feature of women that distinguishes them from men is conservatism. They adhere to the golden mean in everything, while a man can be either too emotional or cold and calculating. To look open and sociable in the eyes of others, avoid extremes. If you are in a society where people are reserved and tactful, then "strong" male words will put you in an awkward position. In addition, if a man is silent, they will think of him that he is thinking about something, but if a woman is silent, they will consider her strange or think that she was offended.
How to become sociable and interesting?
Talk about your feelings. Again, if the girl is in a good mood, overly talkative and smiling, this may lead to suspicions why she is like that. Conversely, if she is gloomy and constantly silent, she will be considered a beech and a bore. Therefore, talk about how you feel, that you are in a great mood, or, on the contrary, you are having a bad day today and you are not feeling well. This will help to avoid unnecessary questions and thoughts, as well as set you on the right wave in communication.
Do good
Today there is a lot of useful literature on the topic of how to become more open and sociable. For example, Anthony Robert's book Self-Confidence Secrets. The book can not only affect your life, but also radically change it for the better. It is written in simple language and contains real life examples that we encounter every day. You will begin to behave in a new way that will make your life brighter, more successful and happy.
We hope that we have helped to understand how to become a sociable person. In fact, there is nothing more beautiful and pleasant than communication with a kind and interesting person. As they say, if you want to change the world, start yourself. Say only kind things, smile more often, become a good person and people will be drawn to you. This will not only be useful for communication, but will also help a lot in life, you will become truly happy.
Take some friend (relative) and go somewhere, say, in an anti-cafe. Well, i.e. choose a place where you can talk to anyone just for fun and at the same time not look like a wonderful type that even sticks.
Take the girl with whom you study at the university / school / just friends and invite you to the cinema / take a walk. So slowly you will develop a skill, you will begin to feel the interlocutor and then you will already have an incentive to conduct conversations with someone. And by talking with someone, you can thus expand that very horizon. The conversation will either give you a reason to rummage through the internet and clarify and expand the topic you were talking about. Well, or just the interlocutor himself can tell you something interesting from his hobby or what he does there? Maybe you will find out what corpuscular-wave dualism is. You yourself are unlikely to climb to look, otherwise you will listen to an interesting story from a nerd physicist. And in the end, you just start to be interested in what the interlocutor is interested in. And then you will find your interests in a chain reaction, if you don’t have them, and you will already start telling people something. Here, you are already a talkative person who has found for himself those people for whom there is an incentive to tell something.
For some, chatting incessantly is not difficult, while others see it as a big problem and shun unfamiliar companies. What is the difference? Firstly, I would advise you to expand your horizons in a variety of areas. You will a priori be an interesting interlocutor if you can support the topic of both quantum mechanics and world literary classics. Moreover, you certainly won’t reach into your pocket for a word when something is being discussed. Secondly, try to develop your communication skills. Make new acquaintances, get out somewhere more often, there will be more interesting and funny stories that you can share in the future. And in no case be closed, do not be afraid that if you say something wrong, you will be laughed at. Mistakes are inherent in everyone, and any "jokes" should always be treated with humor. A person who sincerely knows how to laugh at himself is worth its weight in gold.
The first thing you need to start with is to decide and stimulate yourself towards this goal. Write down on a piece of paper why and why you become more talkative, what will change in life if you become more talkative. It won't take long and will help you become more talkative. Write down several answers, the more the better. And soon choose one that really suits you and will encourage you to become more talkative.
The first thing you need to start, it will be determined and stimulate yourself towards this goal. Write down on a piece of paper why and why you become more talkative, what will change in life if you become more talkative. It won't take long and will help you become a talkative person. Write down several answers, the more the better. And soon choose one that really suits you and will encourage you to become more talkative.
When you have dealt with the first option you can take action. Make your routine and schedule of the day, preferably by the minute. And include in this schedule the work that will help you become more talkative. And start following this schedule every day. In the early stages, it will be difficult to complete a large number of tasks, so make the list smaller, gradually increasing it when you are sure that you can do more. And then you will gradually improve yourself, and this will help you become more talkative.
Recognize yourself for who you are. Basically, the reason for your reticence lies in the fact that you are insecure and have not studied yourself enough. Since all people are different, and each has its own character, so do not imitate others, do not try to become the same as them, you will not succeed, because there are no identical people. You just need to recognize yourself as you are, even if you are taciturn, admit it, do not try to deceive yourself. When you acknowledge what happened and who you are, it will be easier for you to change yourself.
Start with something that is interesting to talk about for both you and your interlocutor. In most cases, we are held back from starting a conversation by the fear that we will approach the interlocutor, but we will have nothing to say. To avoid this, follow these steps.
- Assess the situation. If you are in a class with other students, you can always start by talking about the school. If you are at a party, talk about it. Even something as simple as, “What do you think of this area?” can start a conversation.
- You should not approach a stranger and start a conversation with stupid or obscene jokes. If you ask, “Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?”, you most likely won’t be able to start a conversation.
Remember four winning topics to start a conversation with both acquaintances and strangers: family, work, leisure, goals.
- Family
- "How is your mother?" or “How are your parents doing?”
- "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
- "Are you vacationing with your family?"
- Work
- "What are you doing?" or “Do you like your new job?”
- "What's interesting at work?" or "What's going on in the office?"
- "What kind of people do you work with?"
- Rest
- "What do you do in your free time?" or “How can we have fun?”
- "How long have you been doing this?"
- "Do you have friends that you do this with?"
- Goals
- "What will you do after school?" or “Do you think you will be in this position for a long time? What are you dreaming about?"
- "What are your plans?"
Ask open-ended questions. It is very important to start a conversation and talk with the interlocutor, and not chat about yourself. Open-ended questions give other people a chance to open up, and you are better able to respond to their comments and keep the conversation going.
- People tend to give detailed answers to open-ended questions. If you ask, “How are you?”, you can get the answer: “I’m fine,” so it’s better to ask, “What did you do today?”, And you will start a conversation.
- Open-ended questions do not have unequivocal answers - "yes" or "no". Don't ask closed questions like "What's your name?" or “Do you come here often?”; so you don't start a conversation.
Think back to previous conversations. Sometimes it's harder to talk to a familiar person than a stranger. If you already know something about this person, try to remember previous conversations with him and look for additional questions you can ask:
- "What were you doing before we met?"
- "How is your project? Did you finish it?"
- "How was your holiday?"
Be not only a talkative person, but also a good listener. A good conversation is built both on the ability to maintain a conversation, and on the ability to listen to the interlocutor.
- Look at the interlocutor and nod your head when you agree with him. Ask clarifying questions: “Wow! What happened next? or “How will it work out?”
- Listen carefully and respond to what your interlocutor says. Practice paraphrasing what you said by saying, “What you said is…” or “You are talking about…”
- Do not keep up the conversation by interrupting the interlocutor or talking only about yourself. Listen and respond to what the other person tells you.
Learn to read the body language of your interlocutor. Some people just don't want to talk, and you won't make things any better if you insist on talking. Learn to recognize closed body language and in such cases switch to someone else.
- Closed body language includes looking over the head and wandering around the room (as if the other person is looking for a way out). Also, the reluctance to talk is evidenced by crossed arms or the shoulder of the interlocutor directed towards you.
- Open body language involves leaning slightly towards you and making eye contact with you.
How to become open and sociable if you are, by nature, a shy person, and it is difficult to call your life interesting? After all, an unsociable person, has almost no friends, very rarely makes new acquaintances, and when he gets into a new company, he sits silently, shy, not knowing how to start or maintain a conversation. It is difficult for such a person as an introvert to get along in a team. Colleagues do not accept silent people and loners, and communicate with them with caution. Even when applying for a job, the employer pays attention to the sociability and sociability of the applicant for a good position. If you are a sociable person, you are more likely to make a career.
How to become sociable
Problems in communication are actually experienced by a large number of people. According to statistics, there are 25% of introverts in the world, and if you are one of them, then questions are inevitable: how to develop sociability in yourself, if you were born that way, does this mean that your life will be full of failures, and how to learn to be sociable?
This situation can be easily corrected if you seriously think about how to become a master of communication. Moreover, you will need to not only change yourself, but also your behavior. You will have to work hard to get rid of unnecessary features, learn self-control, not put off things for later, but act here and now. If you develop these qualities in yourself, becoming a more sociable person, you will immediately see how your life will begin to change for the better.
Find common ground
The meaning of communication is that people who often communicate with each other become closer to each other, due to the fact that they have their own points of contact. They are united by common interests or hobbies, common views, etc. Therefore, in order to become open and sociable in any company, you must, as best as possible, understand those areas that are of interest to your interlocutors. Only after that, your communication with them will become easier and more relaxed.
Need to be yourself
If you seriously have a question about how to become a sociable and interesting person, then first learn to express your position openly. Do not be shy and afraid of the reaction of others if your opinion causes them disagreement, or even aggression. Just ignore them, and always be yourself - this is the best thing you can do in this situation.
Less criticism
Many people do not understand how to become more sociable, because they see only flaws in others. Remember, a self-confident and sociable person finds only positive qualities in the environment, which is why he succeeds in making friends, communicating, and not being lonely. Stop criticizing everyone and making fun of others who, in your opinion, are worse people than you. If you are a misanthrope, then learn to be friendly. Treating people with respect will help you make friends easily.
smile
How to become more sociable if you walk all the time with a serious or sullen face? A smile expresses interest and favor to the interlocutor, and should be appropriate. If you smile all the time, then those around you may misinterpret your good intentions to become more cheerful and sociable, and this, oddly enough, will push them away.
Improve yourself
You must become a well-rounded person, and this will require improvement in various areas. If you begin to develop yourself, you will be confident in your abilities, your stiffness will disappear, more topics will appear for conducting dialogues with people, and, as a result, others will have the opinion that you are a sociable person.
Communicate on social networks
There is no better way to solve the problem of how to develop sociability than social networks. It is here, as well as possible, that you can practice communicating with people and make friends. In the social networks, the easiest way is to become a relaxed and sociable girl, or to be a more open guy. After all, communication, without eye contact, is much easier, because no one will see your embarrassment.
Know how to listen
How to become a good interlocutor? Just learn to listen to the person you are talking to. Show interest in him, ask any question that interests you, and wait until he finishes answering. Human psychology is such that it is important for him to speak out to the end. Having shown your respect for the interlocutor, give him this opportunity. If you start a conversation, then you should listen to your opponent at ease and with interest on your face. In no case do not yawn, do not look around, do not look at the phone all the time when you are having a dialogue with a person. He will quickly figure out your fake interest, and the next time, no matter how friendly you seem, he simply will not want to communicate with you.
Being sociable, in this case, does not mean that you need to endlessly listen to the opponent's monologue. Also, you need to take the initiative, and translate the interlocutor to topics that are of interest to you. This technique will help you become a more talkative and liberated person.
Love yourself
If you are having trouble becoming outgoing and confident, then first pay attention to how you treat the people around you. Do you respect them? And do you have respect and love for yourself? How to become sociable if you are full of negativity? Remember, a person feels at the subconscious level how you feel about him, and above all, how much you love yourself. Based on these data, people form an opinion about you, according to which they build their behavior in relation to your person. Therefore, in order to become an open and sociable person, it is necessary to love and respect yourself, as well as to know your worth. This will surely increase your ranking in the eyes of the people. But, on the subject of self-esteem, don't overdo it so you don't look like a pompous, stupid person.
hello
Feel free to say hello to people you don't know well, and even more so to people you know well. The question of how to become talkative will resolve itself if you set a goal for yourself to do this regularly, and sometimes even start a conversation with a stranger, for example, in a shopping line. This tactic will help solve the problem of how to become more sociable.
Speak beautifully
How to become easier in communication if those around you hardly understand? Of course, among the narrow circle of people with whom you are accustomed to communicate, your slang is familiar and understandable to everyone. But what if you, trying to speak this language with other people, immediately feel alienated, misunderstood, and sometimes even aggressive towards you? To become easy to communicate, you will have to remember how to speak the literary language and try to put it into practice. So that you are not embarrassed about how to pronounce this or that word, try to read fiction and increase your vocabulary.
Be funny
How to become cheerful when communicating? Any social circle of interests has a certain set of jokes, as well as their level. First, don't try to become talkative. Listen to people, especially in a new company, and determine what they react to and what makes them happy. After that, you can become more talkative if you prepare for the next meeting with friends by reading a lot of witty jokes or funny anecdotes on the Internet, be sure to write them down on paper. The more jokes will be poured from you, the more cheerful, interesting and sociable person you will be considered by others. This fact will certainly help you to liberate yourself.
act
Without drawing up a clear plan of action on the issue of how to become sociable - you can not do. It is necessary to perform some action every day, sometimes forcing yourself to communicate with people, even if you do not have the desire to do so. Let these actions become mandatory for you, for example, like brushing your teeth in the morning. Only this way will help you make new acquaintances or friends, and become a sociable person.
Remember how often we swallow our tongue when we need to say something important to the interlocutor. Remember this unpleasant feeling of excitement and fear when you want to confess your love or, for example, before an important meeting, exam, interview. How to overcome fear and develop confidence in communication? How to become talkative? These and other questions are being asked by thousands of young people. After all, it is through the ability to speak that we establish interesting contacts with other people and achieve our goals.
Lack of sociability. The main reasons for the lack of sociability
Before we find out what needs to be done in order to become talkative, there are several reasons why some people are not very talkative, i.e. unsociable. First, there is such a thing as shyness. If a person is shy, it means that it is difficult for him to meet, talk with new people due to the fact that he lacks self-confidence. Another possible reason for the taciturnity of some people is that they sometimes have nothing to say - either they understand little of anything, or they have a poor vocabulary. In addition to these two cases, it may be that a person is smart, and well-read, and not shy, but he does not easily find a topic for conversation, is not flexible enough in communication. For all these reasons it becomes difficult to communicate with people.
Let us consider in more detail the situation when a person is not very talkative, he lacks confidence in communication. If there is a high self-confidence- easy communication goes by itself. It is easy to communicate with those who are sure that he is good, capable, and worthy of being accepted, listened to, loved and communicated with him. Insecure people tend to have doubts about this. They are tormented by thoughts: “I’ll come up, I’ll start talking, but will they like me?”, “Will they accept me?”, “Maybe I’ll say something stupid?” etc. And more often than not, instead of finding answers to these questions, they prefer not to communicate. Lack of sociability and isolation sometimes become the norm of life.
To overcome communication insecurities, I recommend taking a few steps. The first of them - try to adequately evaluate yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and make sure that among the seven billion people that exist on the planet, there is someone better than you, someone worse than you, someone more beautiful, someone not so good. All these people, along with you, have approximately the same talents and abilities. In order to create the right self-esteem for yourself and show yourself that you are worth something, reflect on your skills and abilities, find your merits, remember your recent achievements, and make sure that you are really no worse than others.
At the second stage, in order to overcome the uncertainty in communication and become more talkative, you need to find in yourself the desire to make contact with people. If you find it really difficult to communicate, find an opportunity to explain to yourself why you need it. Motivate yourself. Remember that if you communicate more often, with each new time it will be easier for you to do this, you will become more sociable. If you are afraid of communication, afraid that you will be poorly evaluated, then understand that until you go through the fear of being evaluated by other people, you will not feel like a worthy person. In order to learn to speak, one must speak. And to be talkative, you have to talk. Therefore, even when you are not confident in yourself, you should take a step towards the conversation and train in communication.
The third important point that should be considered in order to overcome insecurity in communication and shyness is to remember that appetite comes with eating. You need to motivate yourself, repeat to yourself that it will be easier further, it will be more interesting, further it will turn out more. But in order for this to happen, you need to take the first steps. These thoughts will help you motivate yourself if you hard to communicate due to self-doubt.
How to become talkative. Communication exercises
Now let's consider the situation where some people are reticent because they have nothing to say. This situation suggests that they think little, read little, think little, observe little. They live more of a reactive life. That is, it somehow rolls by itself, and a person is simply included in this life. In order to become talkative in such a situation, it is very important to turn on mental processes. There are many ways to do this. For example, when you watch a movie, try to think and understand what was interesting for you in this movie. This can be done in writing, or you can simply evaluate, retell, or just think for yourself.
The second technique is called retelling. When you have read or heard something, try to retell it. Retelling gives us the opportunity to choose the right words, train our brain and learn how to express our thoughts well and correctly. Third important communication skills exercise- try to think about what you learned new for yourself in some work, in some poem, film, and so on, think about how it can be useful for you. This exercise trains our brain in such a way that we begin to analyze the information, try to understand it, understand the essence and, perhaps, even find the hidden meaning.
Finally, the fourth exercise that will help your development of sociability is simply to read poetry and prose aloud. This will give you the opportunity to hear yourself from the outside and correct your speech, if necessary. By regularly doing these exercises, you will suddenly find that you have learned to reflect, express your thoughts, convey your point of view, and so on.
Confidence in communication = a broad outlook
So, we looked at a number of exercises and tips that can help you become talkative in two cases: when a person is not confident in himself, and when he is not used to thinking, reasoning, or is not able to express his thoughts freely. However, confidence in communication is gained not only by the person who can tell or retell something, but by the one who can freely operate on various interesting topics. In order to learn how to do this, it is important not only to broaden your horizons, but also to acquire the ability to think quickly and switch quickly.
In order to be able to speak well, I recommend not only reading a lot, thinking a lot, but also listening to the interlocutor in order to turn on in time and support any point of view, any conversation.
To learn how to quickly switch, you should practice the ability to quickly express your point of view on different topics. There is a game that can help develop this skill. The game is called "The Smartest", you may have seen it on TV. In this game, the child is quickly asked questions, and he quickly tries to orient himself and answer each of the questions. You can play the same game with one of your friends: let him ask some questions on different topics, and you must quickly answer them. Regular training will give you the opportunity to quickly switch, freely operate with thoughts, as a result of which you will begin to speak very well and vividly.