Money is not only a source of freedom and opportunity, but also a point of contention when financial tensions affect you and your friends.
Any person can experience money problems sooner or later, and often in such a situation it is impossible to do without outside help. But when borrowing funds, you cannot be sure that they will be returned to you within the agreed period and in full. A person’s life circumstances may change, their financial situation may worsen, or they may simply decide to take advantage of your kindness and old friendship in pursuit of their intentions.
All this will become a potential cause of conflict, the severity of which will depend on the amount of the loan and your desire to repay it.
If a friend does not give the money, then the situation becomes even more complicated. And the party that will suffer financial and moral losses can be you. After all, a special attitude towards this person will keep you from taking decisive action, even when you realize that he was simply using you. Therefore, it is not always worth lending money to friends. A situation like this is a serious test for your friendship, which can become a source of disappointment and financial loss.
How not to lend money and not offend anyone
When you are asked to borrow money, even if it is from a friend, you have every right to refuse. It is necessary to make a decision based on your own assessment of the situation and possible risks, financial condition, moral principles and priorities. There is no need to feel remorse or shame for not lending money to a friend. A person close to you will understand and accept any reason. If you decide not to lend money to friends, then try to do it correctly, without inventing implausible reasons.
6 ways to refuse money
No money - no problems.
You can tell your friend that . Express your sincere desire to help and your regret that you do not have such an opportunity now. You shouldn’t give away your last funds or go into debt yourself when even your best friend asked for a loan. After all, you may also have unexpected expenses associated with an important purchase, urgent payments, illness, or difficult life circumstances.
Physically there is money, but in fact there is no money.
Even if you have financial resources, justify your refusal by saying that you are collecting them for specific purposes that are very important. If a friend asks to borrow money, explain to him that the free resources that you have may be needed at any time. You will have to request them immediately, as you do not want to put your friend in an awkward position and aggravate financial problems.
Your money is already being used.
One way to avoid lending money is to explain this by saying that you have no free funds, and all of them are invested in a deposit, real estate or personal business.
Help, instead of borrowing money.
Offer the person any other help in solving the problem. If you cannot or do not want to lend money to a friend, then emphasize that you are ready to provide him with moral support and physical assistance. Tell him other sources of obtaining the required amount if you have such information. These could be favorable bank loans, MFO or pawnshop services, a new place of work or additional part-time work.
You can't go against principles.
You can also refuse because you do not intend to lend money to friends, family or any other people, since this is your principled position. When talking about a loan, clearly outline it, justifying it by the fact that you do not want to even potentially lose a friend because of money.
When non-return of money is a trend.
When a friend regularly asks to borrow money, you will have to be firm in order to guide him on the path to solving financial problems on his own. Ask him for a loan or offer to issue a receipt clearly indicating the repayment period and the amount of interest for using the funds. If this friend does not give back the money he borrowed from you earlier, you can absolutely calmly refuse him.
How not to lend money: exceptions to the rules
A person who does not lend money to a friend does not deserve contempt or condemnation. First of all, be guided by your own interests and priorities. But, before you come up with a reason not to lend money, it is worth finding out the true motive for this request. It is necessary to call a friend for a frank conversation. It is possible that he found himself in a difficult and hopeless situation that he could not cope with on his own.
The question may concern the health or life of a friend or his family and friends. In such cases, a decision cannot be made based solely on issues of one's own financial gain.
Sometimes it is necessary to lend money to a friend, even knowing in advance that the chances of return are doubtful.
But at the same time they will go for good purposes and help a loved one. After all, no one is immune from difficult situations and tragic events that require financial investment. A person who does not lend money to a friend in trouble risks finding himself in similar circumstances himself.
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To get them back later
If you lend money to a friend, you can lose both the money and the friend. Let's try to make sure we at least don't lose money.
To be able to lend money calmly, you need a receipt. It is this document that will allow you to return the money through the court. There is no receipt - consider that you gave the money.
Sergey Antonov
journalist
The receipt confirms that one person took money from another. It will help prove the fact of transfer of money, but will not completely replace the loan agreement. Sometimes even with a receipt it is not possible to return the money due to incorrect wording. For loans of large amounts with interest, it is better to draw up an agreement.
Don’t be afraid to formalize the fact of transferring money
Neighbor Lida is crying in my kitchen: my cousin borrowed 100 thousand rubles for two weeks and has not paid it back for a month, although he swore to return it on time. The amount is large for Lida: she planned to use this money to go on vacation with her daughter.
Why didn't you take a receipt? - I ask.
- How can you get a receipt from a relative? - Lida sincerely asks in response. - We are not strangers!
Often this is the calculation: today the debtor will lie to you that he is about to repay. He will take your money, spend it, and tomorrow he will come up with some new story. And you, they say, forgive him everything: they are not strangers.
If a person really intends to repay your debt, then no receipt should embarrass him. But if he begins to shy away from drawing up the paper, then this is a reason to think about it. Especially when it comes to a large amount.
The receipt internally disciplines the borrower. He is forced to remember that he did not just agree on something verbally, but signed a legal document that obliges him to return the money on time.
Make the receipt correctly
If you lend more than 10 thousand rubles to another person, the transaction must be formalized in writing. For a loan between two people, a receipt is sufficient. Only in this case can one refer in court to the testimony of witnesses. Even if five people saw you hand over money to your neighbor, the court will not take their words into account if there is no receipt. This does not mean that there will not be a chance to prove the fact of the transfer of money: you can use other evidence, but there will definitely be problems with this.
The borrower must write the receipt by hand. After all, a situation may arise that in court the debtor will say that he did not write the document, but that the signature was forged. Otherwise, you can always insist on a handwriting examination. To be on the safe side, you can call witnesses. They will record on the receipt that they saw you hand over the money. But witnesses are not responsible for the debtor.
The receipt must indicate:
- Full name and full passport data of the lender and borrower
- Loan amount in words
- The fact that the borrower has received money
- Debt repayment date
- Return conditions (interest or no interest)
- Sanctions in case of non-return of money (fines)
- Date of document preparation
- Borrower's signature
Assign interest on the use of money
The Civil Code gives you the opportunity to set any percentage and any understandable procedure for its calculation. But this procedure needs to be described so that the borrower, the court or the bailiffs can figure out how much money you are owed. If the interest is twice as high as is usually charged on such loans, the court may reduce them, despite the receipt and agreement.
From June 1, 2018, there are changes in the civil code regarding interest. Now, for contracts and receipts that do not contain anything about interest, they are calculated taking into account the nuances.
Loans up to 100 thousand rubles. If the agreement does not specify interest, you may not receive any money in excess of the debt amount at all. Since June 1, 2018, such loans are considered interest-free by default: as much as you take, give back as much.
Loans of more than 100 thousand rubles. If you forget to set the percentage, the key rate of the Central Bank is automatically applied, which was in effect until the debtor gave you the money. You can find it on the Bank of Russia website: you need a table with interest on transactions in rubles.
It is important to know that if the debtor decides to return the money to you earlier, then he can pay partial interest. Let's say you lent money for a year at 9% interest, and they returned it to you in six months. In this case, the borrower has the right to overpay only 4.5%.
If your friend or relative complains about the interest, say honestly: “Dude, I was going to spend this money myself. But you will spend them instead of me. You will make me uncomfortable. It's a fair price to pay for the inconvenience."
In addition to interest, you can impose penalties for non-payment. Consider this an additional incentive for the borrower, and for you - payment for the nerves that you will spend in court.
The fine may be fixed. For example, the receipt clearly states that if the debtor does not pay the money on time, then in addition to interest, he is obliged to additionally give you a certain amount.
You can do it another way: make sure that delaying the payment of the debt is as unprofitable as possible for the debtor. For example, provide in the receipt that after the repayment deadline, the interest rate doubles. Or the fee for using a loan from a certain date will be one percent per day.
If a friend or relative asks why such harsh measures come from, answer: “My lawyer told me to always write like that. But this won’t affect you, because you’ll return everything on time?”
Contact the court in case of non-return
By law, you have the right to go to court on the very next day of delay, without notifying the debtor of your intention.
If the payment period was not indicated in the receipt, then, based on Article 810 of the Civil Code, the money must be returned to you within 30 days after the first request. To prove to the court that you sent the demand, send a registered letter to the debtor.
The statement of claim can be sent by letter, or you can bring it to the court office in person. The document must be drawn up in triplicate. One will stay with you, the second will go to court, and the third will go to the defendant. In addition, a copy of the promissory note will need to be attached to each copy of the claim. Save the original for the court hearing. Another required document is a receipt for payment of the state duty.
If the debtor does not want to pay on time, and you forgot to set a fine for this, not all is lost. It is possible, even without a condition in the contract, to increase the amount of his debt by interest for the delay. Interest will be charged on the amount that you initially gave to him or he did not return. This is a sanction for the fact that the debtor did not repay the debt when he promised. The amount of penalty interest is fixed and coincides with the key rate. You can also demand compensation for losses if you can prove them.
If you agreed that the debt will be returned to you in parts, but the debtor did not pay some part on time, you can demand that everything be returned, along with interest.
If you lend an amount of more than 150 thousand rubles, in addition to a receipt, you also need a loan agreement. The threshold of 150 thousand is not fixed by law; we based it on modern judicial practice. We will tell you how to draw up a loan agreement in a separate article.
Remember
- Require a handwritten receipt.
- Check the correspondence of the data in the receipt and passport.
- Write down a penalty in case of non-repayment of the debt.
Find out how to lend money - the signs of our ancestors will teach you to approach this matter correctly from the point of view of magic. Proper handling of money is a guarantee of connection to the money egregor, and therefore a guarantee of an enviable financial situation.
In the article:
Borrowing money - signs about borrowing funds
If you borrow money from someone, take it with your left hand. Signs about borrowing money say that if you take it in this way, it will be easy to give it back. People who borrow money with their right hand constantly have problems paying it back.
Many actions seem much more moral if you look at them through the fingers that hold money.
It is advisable to borrow in large denominations. They symbolize powerful ones. Such a loan will attract financial flows to you and, accordingly, new sources of profit.
Borrowing is generally not a good sign. In the old days they thought this: everyone is given according to their capabilities. If you don’t have money to fulfill your desire or satisfy your need, this means that you are not yet at the level that is necessary for this. In this situation, debt is not an option. Our ancestors never borrowed money to buy expensive new clothes or make other purchases of no practical value.
Debt must be beneficial and provide new opportunities for development. So, you can borrow without any special consequences for business development, training, or obtaining any professional opportunities. It is unlikely that you will drive yourself into poverty with such debts. Quite the contrary.
Overdue loans are a very bad omen. If you don't pay back your debts, you're worsening your relationship with them. Financial obligations must be met. Our ancestors believed that a person whose word is worthless will never live in abundance. Before you try to improve your financial situation, deal with your debts.
How to lend money - signs of our ancestors
Give it to the steward - and they will love you, and they will love you forever, unless someone gives you two hundred.
Regarding how to lend money, signs recommend not to do this "from hand to hand". This brings poverty to both the borrower and the lender. In order to avoid the negative meaning of this belief, place the bills on any surface - table, chair, cabinet. Let the person you give them to take them himself. Perhaps you have noticed special containers for money in stores? They serve the same purpose - with bills and coins. Money passes through many hands, and not every owner was the owner of clean energy.
If you are interested in how to lend money correctly, signs advise giving banknotes with your right hand. You should also pay off debts with your right hand. This is a sign of prosperity. When you receive your money back, hold the fig behind your back with your left hand. This will protect you from the evil eye and negative emotions of your debtor. It’s not a fact that there are any, but it’s better to protect yourself.
It is better to give and repay debts in small bills. Large ones symbolize powerful flows of monetary energy, which it is better not to part with. If you only give small amounts of money, regardless of the amount, it will bring profit in the future.
Do not give money if you are concerned about this. This often happens to people who subconsciously expect karmic punishment for not repaying loans. For example, if you yourself do not pay off your debts or your relatives do this, you can hardly hope that the money will be returned to you on time. You can only lend money with a light heart - think that everything will come back.
Ask the debtor to give you the money in the same bills that you gave him. Paying off a debt in small change is a common magical way of getting rich at someone else’s expense. It has already been described above. If you want to do this, you can ask the debtor for larger bills. This simple trick will take away his money energy and direct it towards you. You can ask the debtor to pay a slightly larger amount, at least one ruble more. This leads to income growth.
There are special conspiracies that are said to yourself while you are giving money to a person in need. They oblige him to repay the debt, protect you from losses, and sometimes work as conspiracies to attract money. Here is one such text:
Not for loss, but for profit, now I give, then I will receive double. Exactly!
And another similar conspiracy:
You borrowed, didn’t give back, you attacked the wrong person, (debtor’s name)! Bring it back, bring it yourself! Let it be so!
Some conspiracies can be said out loud, and their texts are unlikely to upset the borrower. Here's an example:
So that I always have, and you increase.
Such a good wish in a conspiracy form does not have any bad consequences. Using these words, you can insure yourself against ruin, non-payment of debt, and also make sure that the borrower has the opportunity to pay you fairly.
When you can lend money - signs about choosing the right time
It was the rich who invented that talking about money is tactless.
According to signs, they don’t lend money on time. waning moon. This phase of the moon is not suitable for monetary transactions at all. No conspiracies or rituals for enrichment are carried out during the waning of the night star. During this period, it is better to avoid large expenses, if possible. From the point of view of the rules of the monetary egregor, material assistance to one’s neighbor is a good thing. Helping a loved one in the form of lending money always pays off - the Universe will reward someone who does not leave other people in need. But during the waning moon, monetary energy flows outside the human world, so your money will flow away and will not return. Perhaps the debt will not be repaid at all, or perhaps you will immediately spend the returned funds on solving new problems.
It is also better to ask for a loan when the moon is waxing. This is how money energy will come. It doesn't matter that this is a loan and not your personal income - this money will only bring good things. If the person you borrowed from is not superstitious, try paying him back on the waning moon. The moon will wane, and all your debts will go away with it. True, this will not bring anything good to the person to whom you owe money - his financial situation will worsen.
It is not customary to repay debts or lend money at the beginning of the week. Monday is the worst day for this. This belief promises poverty and ruin for both the debtor and the borrower. They do not lend or repay debts on Sunday either - our ancestors separated this day from the rest to engage in spiritual affairs, and not material difficulties. Lending money on Tuesday means becoming a debtor for life. You cannot repay debts on Friday and Saturday. There are only two days of the week favorable for borrowing money - Wednesday and Thursday.
If given on the 13th of any month, according to legend, it will be gone forever. There are many bad omens written about the negative meaning of this number. Such beliefs are especially common in the West. The same applies to the 31st number - this is the number 13 written backwards.
Don't borrow money before. Regarding when to lend money, signs unanimously allow this to be done on the eve of the holidays. Paying off debts before the New Year is a very good omen for stability and good income next year. But it’s better to borrow after the holidays are over. Or you should give the money before the new year. Celebrating the New Year in debt is a very bad omen; you will be paying off creditors for the whole year and living in poverty. You cannot borrow on January 1 - you will be poor and live in debt for the whole year.
They do not give or take loans during church holidays. This belief has a particularly negative meaning if you do this at Christmas, Easter, Annunciation or Epiphany. On church holidays you are supposed to think about the divine. On most Holy days, it is prohibited to work, including conducting any financial transactions. Tackle your problems after the holiday is over.
The problem is not having money for black caviar, but finding taste in it.
You can't lend money at sunset. This period is similar in its influence to the waning phase of the moon. Of course, the influence of the time of day is much weaker than the influence that the phases of the moon have on the world. But it’s easier to follow this sign - just ask the person who came for the money to come back the next day. 
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About 4 years ago, a colleague asked my future wife for ₽7,000 for a week. I didn’t want to give it, but my wife asked, saying that the girl had nothing to pay the rent. Gave. A month passed, two, three. Six months later, my wife got ready to quit, and after that we were expected to move to another city. I reminded her that the debt was worth collecting. The wife tried to recover, and the girl lay low. “I was sick.” They decided simply: the wife told the boss, and he took out these ₽ 7,000 from the poor girl’s bonus. So she then quickly covered everyone with multi-story French: her boss, her wife, me. © Kravecki/pikabu
A colleague borrowed ₽1,000 from me and promised to pay me back. He went home and is silent. And then I see on VKontakte that he got married. There is money for the wedding, but there is no debt to pay off, that means. I call him - the subscriber is unavailable. I called his wife, and she told me: “Leave him alone, he only owes you ₽ 1,000, you’re so petty.” And hangs up. © batyr555/pikabu
- An acquaintance borrowed ₽1,000 from my husband, and then wanted to borrow more. A couple of days later, his husband meets him and says that if he needs more, he hands him another ₽ 1,000. He takes it, turns the money in his hands and gives it back to his husband:
- I owed you a thousand? No, now I shouldn’t.
Silent pause. He didn’t try to pin it and was sincerely upset when they explained to him why this gorgeous scheme didn’t work. © Calisto1979 / pikabu
A relative calls me and asks me to borrow RUB 250,000, promising to pay me back in 2-3 months. Okay, I said. I’ll borrow it as a relative, but please write me a receipt. And then it jammed. He began to shame me for distrust of my relatives, redneckness, pettiness and other similar sins. We had a fight. After that, naturally, I didn’t give any money. © Aleks335/pikabu
About 10 years ago, I lent a friend ₽30,000 for a month until salary. 8 years passed, and a rumor spread throughout the city that someone had killed someone so as not to repay debts. I was inspired and decided to forgive my friend’s debt. I informed him about this. He wasn't surprised. And yesterday he calls me on the phone (2 years have passed since I forgave) and asks for ₽ 15,000. I say: “You didn’t give up the last one.” And he replies: “But you forgave me.” I say: “No, I won’t lend you a loan.” He said: “Ask me something!” - and hung up. © Papamio/pikabu
A man borrowed ₽5,000 from me and didn’t give it back. I ran into him in the store, and he was buying 12-year-old whiskey. I take the whiskey, put it in my backpack and say: “Thank you! Today we’ll drink.” He looks at me and blinks his eyes. And I just left the store and went home. © Bacardi1986/pikabu
Once a girl I knew asked for ₽ 4,000 because “there was nothing to eat.” She gave me ₽ 2,000. It was my birthday in a couple of days. I also invited this girl. Came without a gift. We ate, drank, and then she unsheathed the guitar she brought with the words: “Guys, yesterday I bought myself a new guitar for almost nothing - only ₽ 7,000.” © julber/pikabu
I have a classmate. We've known each other for almost 50 years. About 4 years ago he began to call very actively, looking for meetings. Each conversation ended with a request for money. Finally, I got tired of it, and I gave him ₽ 500. After that, when we meet, he switches sides or pretends that he didn’t recognize him. 50 years versus ₽ 500. © DedX5 / pikabu
One friend owes me ₽ 1,500 for more than six months. I called him today out of boredom to ask how he was doing. He immediately tells me that he remembers the debt and that he has a card. But now he can’t transfer it because he dropped the card, a car drove over it, and now the ATM won’t accept it. © LLlaJlyH/pikabu
Six months ago, friends were lent an amount with four zeros: they, husband and wife, lost their jobs almost at the same time. Afterwards they asked for more, but at the very least they gave it. They weren't heard from for a couple of months. 20 minutes ago I received a call: “Borrow ₽50,000, I need it urgently.” I ask what's the matter. She replies: “My husband and I bought one-way tickets to Israel, but we don’t have enough for the return trip.” I was speechless. © ArtemSol/pikabu
Bonus
- I borrowed ₽600 from friends for the week before payday. We met 10 days later, and my friend’s wife began shouting: “A week and a half has already passed, where is my money?!” I told her: “Is it okay that my husband installed all the doors for you for free? Nobody asked you for a penny. And I’ll pay off the debt in a couple of days!” She answered me: “How many times did my husband take you to your dacha this summer?!” And I: “How much?!” Not even once!” The way she looked at her husband... It became clear that all his trips to our dacha were ordinary parties. Divorced. The price of everything is ₽ 600. © netfantasiio5 / pikabu
Surely you have had similar cases. Tell us your most memorable one.
There are times in every person’s life when borrowing money from friends or relatives is necessary. Sometimes doing this is morally difficult, and it is especially difficult to live with the knowledge that you have a “debt” hanging over you.
How to borrow money correctly without being painfully ashamed? And how can we tactfully negotiate with those who help us?
Start with the main thing
If you understand that you simply need money and a loan cannot be avoided, get down to business energetically. When you call your friends, you don’t need to mislead them by asking: “How are you?” or offering to meet for unknown reasons. It’s better to say directly: “I have business with you. Can you lend me some money?" Do not use language like “Could you...”, “Will you borrow?” – they immediately provoke refusal. In general, it is better not to approach people who you know are stingy. Choose a borrower not according to the “rich” principle, but based on the wording “not stingy.” Sometimes it’s easier to ask a person with limited means who may well be in your position.
Set deadlines
Do you know how to ask for money so that anyone would be happy to lend to you? You need to immediately name the dates when you will be able to repay the debt. The request may sound like this: “Lend me a thousand rubles before Monday,” “Lend me five hundred rubles before the fifth,” and so on. Then it is immediately clear to the person that you are not carelessly approaching the issue of a loan, but are counting on when you will be able to repay. This characterizes you on the good side. Another trick: explain the seriousness of your plans and why you are borrowing. For example, you urgently need to buy boots for your child, or your washing machine needs to be repaired. The person who borrows from you cares. After all, he gives you money that he could already spend on himself. The suspicion that you will spend it on nonsense is undesirable.
Tell us about your plans
Well, you borrowed money, spent it, and now you have only one task - to pay it back on time. Alas, human psychology is such that he often views borrowed money as some kind of “crazy” money. When the time comes to give them away, you feel sorry for something. And why? Yes, because we do not treat borrowed money as if it were our own. And that’s the only way they should be treated! Immediately after borrowing a certain amount, deduct it from your future salary. Then it won’t be so difficult for you to part with money later.
The second point is to give on time. It is very important! If you violate the agreement, then no one will borrow from you, no matter how much you promise to “give from your salary.” So if you suspect that you will not be able to pay on time, inform the person about this IN ADVANCE and apologize. If he can't wait, reborrow. It is very important!
You have to give beautifully
When we need to intercept money, we are ready to go for it anywhere and at any hour. But often, when repaying a debt, people begin to set conditions for the person from whom they borrowed. Today I can’t, but let’s go there and so on.
Without exaggeration, let's call this an ugly act. The best way to show gratitude to the person who helped you out is to give him the money on time, arriving at the right time, at the appointed hour, and also say thank you. Aerobatics, if you have improved your financial situation, add some trifle to the envelope. For example, a box of chocolates. Then the person will understand that it is pleasant to do business with you and, most importantly, you can be trusted.
Give and take no more!
No matter how much you observe loan etiquette, it is still unpleasant. How to make it so that you no longer have to borrow? The answer is simple: you need to spend only what you have, and not a ruble more! If you run out of money, you simply stop spending it, switching to hay and straw. True, it is advisable to track in advance when the money starts to run out, so that you don’t have to borrow for bread. It is clear that you cannot live without food, without paying for transport, for a telephone. But it’s quite possible to save money on a gift for a loved one if you’re short on money. Or even on new winter boots, if the old ones haven’t fallen apart yet. It's better than going into debt.
How to save money?
If you suddenly find that you have the last thousand left in your wallet, there must be some kind of stash. Take care of this in advance. As soon as you receive your salary, break the entire amount into small parts - for the household, for vacation, just in case, etc. Sometimes a five hundred dollar hidden somewhere can save the situation. In addition, when you start a new nest egg, you seem to receive a signal that there is less money and you need to be careful. When they lie in a large pile, it seems that there is no end to them, and therefore a person can spend money.
Number
You need to save 10 percent of your income every month so that you never have problems with money. You need to put this money in a place where it is not easy to take it from. For example, you can open a bank account.