Website, Cerisy-la-Foret
Julia's family life did not work out: even two children did not help keep her husband. The mother-in-law offers to take custody of her granddaughter and take the child for herself, the woman still has nowhere to go, and she herself will not be able to support the children:
“I’ve been with my husband (civilian) for 6 years, I met him late at 31, immediately gave birth to a girl, then a second, the boy is not even a year old. I myself am from the region, my husband is a Muscovite. Premarital apartment - husband, mother-in-law always helped, she is alone. My husband always walked, but I closed my eyes, because. provided for us, I did not work, I took care of the house.
The last two years have been just a nightmare (when I found out about my pregnancy, I just went on a spree, didn’t appear at home for weeks, either at my mother’s or at work. And now he said that he loves another and that she will live with us! I’m against it, but go nowhere: to our parents - we simply won’t fit there, there is one room for me and my mother (and she will definitely refuse to take us in). My mother-in-law offered to take my granddaughter to her (but with the condition that she would be the official guardian).
I should probably give up my daughter, but I can’t and don’t want to. Yes, I do not argue, she helped us a lot, her daughter loves her very much. But it turns out that there is still no way out, if I leave my daughter, I won’t be able to pick her up, because. the son is in her arms, there is no work, no housing, and the age is already under 40. What should I do? I can’t live under the same roof with my husband - he is a traitor, and the girl he brought as a daughter suits him.
Julia
Website, Retro
The women decided that the author’s infantilism was to be envied, and she herself was to blame for all the troubles:
“You knew that a man walks and always walked away from you. The man didn't marry you. You gave birth immediately at 31, as soon as you met, he continued to walk. You give birth to the second, for what purpose? The man was clearly going to leave you, and then the second pregnancy. I would say that he is super noble, which does not drive you away. You are sitting on his neck, in his apartment, and he is also a traitor? You just don’t tell him this, otherwise you will go out into the street. ”
Anonymous
“The man was walking, but you were not working ... What do you want? I had to work at the alternate airfield"
Anonymous
Website, Marasa
“Gather your nerves into a fist, find at least some source of personal income and ignore this couple as if nothing had happened. Smile to everyone and always, say: "good" while becoming more active in search of personal security, including from moral pressure. And in no case do not scandal. Oneself in order - necessarily and children - a maximum of love and care. Children are your everything, don’t give them to anyone!”
Anonymous
“1) File for divorce and alimony
2) Where are the children registered?
3) Go home with children. What does it mean that mom will not let you in, you are registered there, you have the right to live.
4) Children to garden and work. While living on alimony until the garden
What are the other options?"
Anonymous
“What can I say. Live together! Let time work for you - make yourself a plan of action. Raise children, build skills, look for a job. Do not fall for grandma's manipulations! Beloved granddaughter is YOUR trump card, behave wisely.
boa D*
“Try to seek help and advice from public and religious organizations. Do not be left alone with this problem - they will crush you. Just don't swing the law, be healthy."
Anonymous
“Where is his husband? Stranger, move out and file for alimony. Amazing innocence."
Let's make a reservation right away that the term "Swedish family" exists exclusively in Russian and has nothing to do with real Sweden. In the rest of the world, a polyamorous family is commonly referred to as ménage à trois - literally translated as "household for three." Living this way in intimacy with each other can be both all participants, and only some of them.
Nikolai Nekrasov and the Panaevs
“Everyone was outraged not by the fact that Nekrasov was polygamous, a polygamist, incapable of single-married love. These are almost all the lyrics…” wrote Korney Chukovsky in his article “The Poet's Girlfriends”.
The personal life of the “singer of a Russian woman” really was not easy. At the age of 26, Nekrasov falls madly in love with the beautiful Avdotya Panaeva. And although Panaeva was far from the poet's first sweetheart, it is she who is traditionally considered his muse and inspirer.
Avdotya Panaeva was smart, beautiful, very talented... and married to another Russian writer, Ivan Panaev. And although the girl at first steadfastly rejected the courtship of the young rake, she soon gave up. During one of the trips, Panaeva and Nekrasov confessed their feelings to each other.
What Ivan Panaev experienced about this is unknown, but, apparently, this did not interfere with their friendship. And given that soon all three lived happily in the Panaevs' apartment, their union turned out to be stronger than it seemed.
In collaboration with Panaeva, Nekrasov wrote several novels - Avdotya then wrote under a male pseudonym, which was business as usual in those days. According to rumors, Nekrasov repeatedly arranged scenes of jealousy for Panaev, but disagreements did not prevent the partners from living together for 16 years - until Panaev's death.
During this time, Avdotya managed to get pregnant from Nekrasov, but, unfortunately, the child soon died. After the death of Panaev, Avdotya and Nikolai also did not live together for long. Apparently, the "third" in their bizarre friendship was not superfluous.
In an obituary published in Sovremennik (1862, No. 2), Chernyshevsky wrote: “... Panaev was loved by everyone who only knew him: there was so much kindness, gentleness and that attractiveness in him, which is communicated to a person by the predominance of good spiritual qualities in him ... »
Ivan Turgenev and Viardot: "on the edge of someone else's nest"
, a famous French writer and art historian, and opera diva Pauline Garcia got married in 1840. He was already forty, and the girl was only twenty. They were introduced by the writer George Sand, who, although she was a close friend of Louis, still admitted that he was "dull as a nightcap."Polina found a decent husband in Louis, but this calmness was not enough for her. “As you promised me, I found in Louis an exalted mind, a deep soul and a noble character ... Excellent qualities for a husband, but is that enough?” Pauline George Sand wrote.
Three years after the wedding, and there was a reason to dispel the boring family life. In the autumn of 1843, 25-year-old Ivan Turgenev was among the spectators of the opera performance. And after some time, Turgenev also met Louis, then the director of the Italian theater in Paris. The opera diva did not particularly distinguish Turgenev from the crowd of her fans, but when her tour in St. Petersburg ended, Ivan Turgenev rushed after the Viardot family. For attachment to the “damned gypsy”, his mother did not give him money for three years. Turgenev travels around Europe: to Berlin, then to London, Paris, a tour of France and again to St. Petersburg, all the while living in the Viardot family "on the edge of someone else's nest", according to his own statements. In the early 1860s, the Viardot family settled in Baden-Baden, and with them Turgenev ("Villa Tourgueneff"). Thanks to the Viardot family and Ivan Turgenev, their villa has become an interesting musical and artistic center.
Turgenev loved her four children (including him) as if they were his own. The true nature of the relationship between Pauline Viardot and Turgenev is still the subject of debate. There is a version that after Louis Viardot was paralyzed due to a stroke, Polina and Turgenev actually entered into a marital relationship. According to one version, this love triangle there were also men to whom Pauline Viardot was disposed ...
Grevs, in his History of One Love, wondering whether the relationship between Turgenev and Viardot could have been a relationship between spouses, says: “It turns out that a three-way cohabitation that does not quite fit with the natural feelings of people ... On what moral principles did it develop? With some strange friendship between Turgenev and the husband of his beloved woman, based on common hunting hobbies, something is not good.
Mayakovsky, Osya and the "muse of the Russian avant-garde"
“Volodya didn’t just fall in love with me - he attacked me, it was an attack. For two and a half years I did not have a single free minute - literally. I was frightened by his assertiveness, growth, his bulk, irrepressible, unbridled passion. His love was immeasurable,” wrote his muse Lilya Brik about Mayakovsky.
In Mayakovsky's autobiography, the day of the meeting with Brik in July 1915 is defined as "the most joyful date." Between Mayakovsky and Lilya Brik, a stormy romance broke out very quickly, which was not prevented by Lilya Brik's husband Osip. In the summer of 1918, Mayakovsky and Briki began to live as a threesome, moving from apartment to apartment. According to the memoirs of the Soviet poet Voznesensky, in old age Lilya Brik confessed to him: “I loved making love with Osya. We then locked Volodya in the kitchen. He was torn, wanted to us, scratched at the door and cried ... "
However, there are versions that everything was quite the opposite - Osip did not have enough strength and health to make love to his wife, and he gave way to a younger lover.
Mayakovsky, Lilya and Osip Brik
Lydia Korneevna Chukovskaya recalled her visit to the Briks not without rejection: “It was difficult for me to communicate with them, the whole style of the house was not to my liking. It seemed to me, moreover, that Lilya Yurievna had no interest in Mayakovsky's poetry. I didn’t like the hazel grouses on the table, and the jokes at the table ... "
In his suicide notes, Mayakovsky named Lilya Brik and Veronika Polonskaya, as well as his mother and sisters, as members of his family, and asked that the poems be handed over to the Briks.
Alexander Herzen and "three stars"
Alexander Ivanovich Herzen was a Russian poet, philosopher and a man of very free views. In 1838, he married his cousin Natalya Zakharyina, and within seven years Natalya bore him six children, three of whom, however, died almost immediately after birth.
The family leaves for emigration to Paris, where Natalia falls in love with Herzen's close friend, Georg Gerweg. Natalya does not hide her relationship with Herweg and admits that "dissatisfaction, something left unoccupied, abandoned, was looking for a different sympathy and found it in friendship with Herweg." She proposes to her husband a "threesome marriage." However, spiritual, not carnal. Complement the picture of Emma - the wife of Herweg, as well as their children.
Girls, tell me who has friends who live together, no matter zhmzh or mzhm. Do you know how they managed to reunite?
Under what conditions would you agree to let a second girl into a relationship? I love both.
I would never let another woman into bed. No, it’s unacceptable for me, and I wouldn’t be able to share my man with another! ZHMZH not for me.
A man would let in for sure, I think. "If I were a sultan, I would have three wives." For relaxation, you can spice it up in a relationship. I don't see anything wrong. The main thing is that everyone is happy.
There is a movie with Scarlett Johansson - I don't remember the name. There about it - two women one man. But there were some tragedies. So, author, do you need it? Or is your life just too easy and fun?
There are such acquaintances, a handsome guy lived with a woman, gave birth to a lyalka, and then they let a third character into their lives - it was a man of 40 years old, he fucked not only a girl, but her husband. Try smearing your ass with honey! I don't know if it will help, but you have to try. It seems that Mayakovsky lived like this with his beloved Lilia and her husband.
Here experience and indifference are needed. As for me. Under no circumstances would I let it go. It's not love then. It's one thing to live - just in one apartment, and another thing is to talk about ZHMZH, that is, as an author - he loves both. What? That is, some kind of polygamy, well, this is game in my opinion.
There is a familiar family, they live in the same house: wife + husband + ex-husband+ a child from the former and a child from her husband, with whom she is now. Nothing so MZHM them. I don't understand this.
I would never deal with such people. Fu damn, fu nah. Second girl? In a relationship? Are you a beggar, author? You do not have your own apartment or apartments. You don't know how to make money yourself? What girl? Nafig you surrendered to the third person (if this is not your child). This is nonsense!
I have a friend who lives together, she and her two cats. There is an acquaintance. A very wealthy man, lives with two girls. Contains both. They drive to rest all together, they are high.
Was 22-23 years old familiar with the family of swingers. More precisely - with the company. Well, what can I say. Not stupid people, well educated, living their desires. Sometimes reflecting on their lifestyle. Especially the men. Strange as it may seem, they were more embarrassed than their wives. No, they didn't drag me into their "lair". Not raped and not dishonored. Why am I? Yes. To each his own! Life is short, live as you wish.
I only know three homosexuals who lived together. The main thing is that everyone is happy!
No friends and well. I don’t see the point in this life, except for problems and headaches, such an experience will obviously give nothing. Is that suitable for a certain stage of life.
I have a friend mzhm. Both love her very much and therefore sacrificed principles and agreed. This does not work with women, we will shove love up our ass and leave, but we will not humiliate ourselves like that. The exception is if the girl is a specific bi, more girl-oriented. Maybe then she will agree to live together.
They were an absolutely adorable couple. 15 years together, small (then) recently gave birth. They continued their swinger party. Of course, I was shocked, but I really liked them as individuals. In "childhood" she generally loved to gather freaks around her.
The Sultan has been found! And then they will conspire together and slaughter you! In general, in Israel, this does not happen, here, I would say, the largest concentration of perverts. Well, mutual fights are normal, right there in the army girls are also trained to swing. I would say not matriarchy, but equality. The decree, for example, is only 3 months before and 3 after, men sometimes take a post-natal decree and sit with their children, depending on who earns more.
Well, they don’t mind, men love children. There is no "real woman", "real man" here. We live according to the possibilities of each. But Russian wives, brought up in the usual way for us all, still tend to take everything upon themselves, of course.
Well, there the guy major with the strip came together. And they hung out for fun! I knew them well. Great, funny guys, junkies. But why, what and how I do not know. I know such people, but there is hardly any love there, but sex - yes. We lived together and not only.
They need a family like everyone else, they really love each other as a couple, they say this keeps the fire in their relationship. You fuck with others, then you pounce on each other like rabbits, their swing games have clear rules, like any game. Do not fall in love, negotiate with your spouse about every adventure (there are no hidden whores), that is, betrayal in terms of betrayal is unacceptable. I communicate well with such a company, they dream of dragging us like fresh blood, but my husband and I are not ready for this yet.
In principle, I understand the essence of what is happening. Almost everything changes anyway. So isn't it better to do it frankly? Apparently this is another stage in the development of relations. You have to grow up to it. I have such friends. But they lived like this during the turbulent informal youth. In adulthood, people live alone or as a family.
Sore subject, man. I met a man, not bad, courted beautifully, attention to the sea, and then take it and blurt out what ex-wife they were friends with a couple, it was certainly unpleasant, I don’t accept this abomination, but I thought that it’s not a fact that this could affect me, but in vain. In short, I ran from him and stumbled, the sediment is still.
They say that some people have their heads torn and tantrums against this background. It seems to me that it is important not to rush things and not start doing it out of fear of betrayal, but only when one of the couple (or both) report that they would like someone new. Sex MZHM, for example.
There is a familiar trinity. MZHM. They live like this, in apartment Z, at first she lived with one M, then a second M appeared. Yes, he is blind, in the literal sense, an invalid. She gave birth to a child. The blind man thinks it's from him. But in fact, from the first. And he doesn’t call any of M dad, and his patronymic is different from the left.
In my opinion, it's immoral.
I don't see a problem at all. Disperse with the girl and hang out with at least ten. And live with your mom. Everyone will be happy. Why invent unnecessary problems! All perverts are like perverts. And you are just creatures, fierce blasphemy!
Here is how it was. I knew one couple, cool guys, they were in the circle of mutual friends, but they never talked closely. On vacation, we accidentally crossed paths and began to hang out together, somehow we drank too much, and my wife fell asleep, and my husband and I slept. The three of us had a lot of fun and upon our return we continued to communicate very closely, and we were so good and interesting with each other that it seemed that we couldn’t do without each other. My husband and I continued to be lovers, and my wife and I became best friends, like sisters. And somehow, after the birthday, as usual, the three of us left to continue the fun, we got very drunk and when we went to bed, then at the suggestion of me and my girlfriend, a threesome happened and from that night we began to live in three. I don’t know how it happened, but I loved them both, we all loved each other and began to share life and bed. Of course, not everything was smooth, there was jealousy and some inconvenience, but it was something special. I adequately perceived my role in all this, so I left them alone for several days, didn’t make scenes, although I was jealous and didn’t give reasons for jealousy to my wife myself, it suited everyone .. except for me. So it all ended logically, now we continue to be friends with my wife and communicate with our husband, without a hint of sex, when we parted, we seized all the grief, so now there can be no question of anything, but spiritual intimacy remains and therefore we still so far friends.
I know that no one will understand this, I don’t need it, I hope my story will help the author in some way. The Swedish family is a double-edged sword.
And I'll add more. If you chase two hares, you won't catch a single one, you know that? This is true. He can’t have anything with me now, his wife can’t fully trust him now, and after me their life cannot be the same, maybe they will even break up. I advise you to choose one, it is better to lose one than both, and so it will be if you decide to be with both.
Girl never. If the three of us live, then I alone in this state should be a princess.
This post made my heart ache. I live with a guy (I hope we get married, I love). So. We met him 9 months ago. Relations immediately. He offered a threesome fmzh, I agreed, but only sex. So it happened 3 times. There was no jealousy (well, maybe a little), just sex. Then he had the idea to live together. I thought I would die at that moment. Fell head over heels in love with him. He began to look for a girl, young, beautiful ... but! Horseradish young and beautiful, smart, economic will agree to this. I calmed down a bit. Then I found his correspondence. He wrote to the girls, invited them to my apartment, promised full support (he and I work and will support this girl). Time passed .... he calmed down, this idea disappeared from him. I feel his love, he has changed. It’s good that I endured it then. But the pain was unbearable. I forgot about this already. The post reminded me. Now introduced: me, he and she. Yes, I'd rather stay alone, although I'm not jealous. How can I imagine that some girl in a dream will hug him, lie under one blanket, sniff on his shoulder - fu .... how can I forget this nonsense about the Swedish family now?
In relations between a man and a woman, the third is superfluous. Even if the main girl is not jealous, she will still not like it. The second one is even more so, she can fall in love and count on something serious. After all, at the level of the subcortex, any woman has a desire to be the only one.
Why don't men understand this? I said so to my own: well, let's say the second one comes into the relationship. What if she wants more? He tells me: then he will go through the forest. It will not be fair, our hearts are not made of stone.
If I didn’t love my husband, I would gladly have hooked up with a girl. The more I love myself beautiful girls. But I love my husband and I will not agree to this dregs. The author, most likely, wants to experiment sexually, there is no love there.
I would let only a cook or a cleaner to clean the hut while my husband is at work, and we would walk with the child. But sex ZHMZH for me - treason. I wouldn't let a second girl in our bed, life.
Disgusting. At first, everything seems funny, because it is unusual, they say, that the three of us have our own small world where we don't let anyone in, we won't tell anyone about our little secret and all that. But then hell begins. One person begins to be jealous of the second to the third, and on this everything is rapidly heading in a certain direction.
It plays a very important role how these threesome relationships were born. If there were two who accepted a third, then sooner or later they will ask him.
It was more difficult for me, we accepted the third one, and then I began to understand that it was obviously not her who was superfluous here, but me. I couldn’t leave, I didn’t want to, I didn’t have the right and all that. It all ended with her leaving, and then he suffered, and I suffered because he suffered, and she suffered because we both suffered because of her. It's all garbage, you can have fun like that when you're young, but still people should be together, the third one always spoils everything and breaks the foundations of these two.
A threesome relationship is unusual, surprising, but I wouldn’t say that it’s completely abnormal. Firstly, everyone decides for himself how to build his life, and secondly, such relationships are not always losing - this is a stereotype. I can prove to own example. For more than three years I have been living in serious relationship with two guys. I love both equally, no one feels disadvantaged. And both love me just the same, I don’t think it would occur to them to share their girlfriend among themselves. In our family (namely, the family), always bright relationships and quarrels are extremely rare. We live in the same apartment, sleep together, eat together and spend our free time together. We also have a common income. At the same time, everyone feels happy, everything seems very correct to us, even relatives from three sides accepted this. Perhaps their strong childhood friendship played a role, or maybe something else. But we are happy, and this is the main thing.
I'm afraid my answer will be very voluminous ... I'll try to be as short as possible ...
I was in a relationship with a girl who was officially dating another guy. She was my classmate, and in the graduating class, I still mustered up the courage to ask her to meet. Our relationship developed sluggishly, and I did not understand why, until I found out that she had not broken up with her previous boyfriend. At first I was furious, but then I soberly assessed the situation: I was an unpopular boy, and she was a very bright girl - in itself unheard of luck that she agreed to date me. I told her that I knew about the third (although, in theory, the “third” was me), said that I would not interfere with her choice, especially since she was a virgin and neither we nor they had sex. We continued our "secret" romantic relationship until the summer. In the summer she went to rest in one place, I went to another. I wrote her several letters, but no response. When I returned to my hometown, I found out that she had slept with her boyfriend, and they now have a "relationship on a new level." At the same time, I learned from mutual friends. I did not find the strength to meet with her, and she did not show any desire to continue communication with me. I stayed in grades 10-11, and she went to school. The next time we managed to talk after 7 years, and we did not remember these relationships.
I had 2 groups of friends in which I spent my free time. They crossed very rarely, and not in full force, which suited me perfectly: tired of some people, I spent more time with others. Gradually, out of 2 companies, we formed our own "small" company of 3 guys and a girl (relationships are not even three, but four, but I this case can be considered only an observer or a narrator). We communicated regularly, although each initially had his own personal life. Gradually, the guys became single, and her boyfriend left the girl after he took her virginity, but that's another story. As a result, all my friends remained "single", and somehow imperceptibly one of them began to meet with our girlfriend (openly enough that we did not have an ambivalent idea about this). I didn't care, the "third" in their circle tried to find a passion, but to no avail. As a result, the "first" began to gradually stumble upon things "incomprehensible" to him: the loss of condoms, the daily hanging of the "third" in the girl's apartment, even if he, her boyfriend, was leaving, etc. My hints that there were now three of them were not perceived by the "first", and only angered him. As a result, I stopped my attempts to convey to him the meaning of what was happening, and tried to talk first with the "third", and then with the "second", but the result was sad: "No. 1 was left with nothing", and "No. 3 became pregnant with No. 2 "and they now live together ... I don't like traitors, and therefore I stayed with No. 1, especially since he needed me at that time more.
Bottom line: Threesome relationships always end in pain for one of the members of the trio. And even if such a relationship continues for quite a long time, this does not mean that one of the partners does not have a big bleeding wound inside.