It is impossible to keep a man with sex © shutterstock
Feeling that the relationship is cracking, women often clutch at straws in desperation - they try their best in bed to keep a man. After all, from all sides you can only hear what stupid things men do for the sake of sex. And not stupid men.
Consider, for example, the story of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. The president of a powerful country, who has spent millions of dollars on his image, suddenly puts everything on the line for a blowjob, an ordinary blowjob, one of a hundred that have happened before.
Note: this is an experienced politician who knows how to control the smallest shades of his feelings and emotions, who knows the value not only of actions and words, but even of a glance and a sigh.
What kind of power should sex have over a man, if far from ordinary men are able to put their whole lives on the line for it... What then can we say about ordinary men, not trained in politics?
Why think for a long time about how to keep a man: you learn the Kama Sutra properly and sleep peacefully - where will he go, darling, bound hand and foot by the basic instinct - sex. So? No, it turns out that's not the case.
Sex means a lot in a man's life
But what do men understand by the word “sex”? The easiest way to find out is to simply ask them.
With the question “What does sex mean to you? And what sex do you consider the best in your life? website I turned to 5 men, just acquaintances, not sexologists or psychologists.
For truly good sex, I'm willing to shell out a large sum of money. I dream of sleeping with a Thai girl: small, chiseled. I wouldn’t let her out of my hands for a day. But I can’t imagine that she will be next to me all my life. Life requires something different. For example, the opportunity to be snotty and lame and not be afraid of being abandoned.
What am I willing to do for good sex? I can cheat on my wife. And do not suffer from reproaches of conscience. I confess that I cheat on my wife regularly. And not because sex with her doesn’t suit me, but because I really like coming home after a great orgasm.
It's like a contrast shower - very invigorating and very good for health. But to live with a woman just because she gives great blowjobs - are you seriously asking about this or are you kidding?
A man can be kept with sex if he wants this particular woman. There is a lot mixed into a man’s desire to sleep with this and only this woman: here you have her smell, and the woman’s manner of smiling, and the ability to cook, and the reluctance to pick up a frying pan, and that same “scar on her beloved butt.” I don’t know why sometimes I’m drawn to some woman with an irresistible force, I don’t know! But this is not a desire to simply throw off sperm, that's for sure.
Is it possible to keep a man with sex? Can. If a man is an animal. If a woman has fallen in love with a male who is capable of eating and fucking, then with a good sandwich and a decent blowjob you can really keep him near you all your life. And if, besides jaws and a penis, he has something else, then you can’t hold a man back with sex.
A man is unlikely to put up with bad sex. If a woman is afraid to throw back the blanket again or has a chronic “headache,” the man will most likely leave. But not to the first woman he came across. He will still look for a person he likes. Don’t think that men are so primitive and ready to forget about everything for the sake of sex.
This is what the men told us. It’s strange, why then do women have such a persistent idea that a man is ready to do anything for the sake of sex: buy fur coats, endure whims, forget about family and children? Either the men lied now, or we are still mistaken.
How to keep your man, husband in the family? So that he does not go to his mistress or to another woman. This topic is very delicate and painful because it concerns many people. The main thing to start with is if your husband is a complete alcoholic, a drunkard, a drug addict, or you have been living with him for 2-3 years, and he has become a womanizer, it is not worth living with such people at all, and keeping him. You are not a martyr, you don’t have to endure all this, you just deserve better. Not necessarily a better man or husband, you deserve not to be offended, not to be humiliated. Of course, you have the right to choose either to endure it or to leave and experience some difficulties, primarily material ones, perhaps this is some kind of comfort. But in your soul you will be worthy, no one will offend you, no one will beat you and humiliate you. You will be free and be who you want to be. We immediately exclude these cases.How to properly care for your husband
But let's return to our topic of conversation: how to keep your husband at home? For example, your man returns home, tired from work, and from the doorway you start nagging him about money, telling him what good and rich husbands your friends have. By doing this, first of all, you lower his self-esteem; this should not be done under any circumstances. Or from the very beginning you start complaining about the children, how badly they behave, how poorly they study. Wait, let the man first come to his senses after work, have dinner what you prepared, or cook it together. When he rested, the children went to bed, since children should not hear your squabbles, scandals and complaints, accusations towards your husband, then talk to your man.The next thing you should not do is reproach him about little things: trousers, socks, shirt thrown in the wrong place. Naturally, if he was sitting at home and not working or came in at lunchtime and there was such a mess everywhere, then of course he could have cleaned up after himself. But when he has problems, stress, or conflict situations at work, there is no need to do this. Either he will go to someone who will not force him to clean up after himself every evening, who will be able to look after him after work, understand that with your whining you irritate him, even your voice begins to irritate him. He will want to go where it is quiet, calm and where he will be appreciated.
Not only women love with their ears, men also want to hear compliments addressed to them, so tell him what a good father he is, that he comes home from work and takes care of the children, what a good husband he is, etc.
Pay attention to yourself before you reproach your husband, because you are not perfect either.
The next thing you need to do is constantly talk with your man so that there is no misunderstanding between you. You should not overwhelm yourself by digesting everything within yourself. There definitely needs to be a dialogue, a conversation between two people. Everything that happens between you should happen through dialogue.
Remember, you cannot ask him about his ex-women, whether they were better or I was better, this should not be done under any circumstances. He lives with you, which means you are the best.
Learn to understand your husband's psychology
It’s better to find out from your man what kind of childhood he had, what difficulties he had, what difficulties, experiences he had, so that he could trust you with his most intimate thoughts, since he can go where they will listen to him, where he is interesting, and you will not be able to keep your husband. Even if she is not beautiful, fat, or interesting, as you think, but they will listen to him there, and he will feel necessary. The main thing is that your husband trusts you with his innermost thoughts, that you have mutual secrets, that not a single part of his soul is hidden from you. So that he would be an open book for you, a spiritual open book.Dear women, know how to listen, speak, praise your man at least once a day, so that he feels necessary, then you will never lose your loved one.
Finding a man is one thing, but keeping him near you is something completely different. Both stages are equally important, but it is still more difficult to keep a man close to you. Maybe women who managed to marry successful men have some special secrets about how to keep the man they love?
This article is not a comprehensive guide to how to marry the man you love and keep the man you love, but it will nevertheless give you the basic guidelines that you need to follow in order to turn your dates into a deeper relationship.
If you yourself don’t like who you really are, then you shouldn’t expect this from a man. Do some self-reflection and change what you don't like. High self-esteem is key.
Chat with a man
From the very beginning of dating and throughout your married life, the key to maintaining your relationship with a man is communication. Tell him everything you feel - both good and bad. Oddly enough, for many it is not obvious that before receiving a marriage proposal, you need to build a close relationship with a man. Therefore, while you are still “just dating,” try to find out more about him, and in turn tell him about yourself.
Be natural
In order to captivate the man you love and keep him close to you for a long time, it is important to be able to be versatile.
Despite all the glamor advertising claims about silicone breasts, hair extensions and other rubbish, men really only value what is genuine. Be natural, don’t try to put on someone else’s mask. He must get to know the real you, because he will be married to the real you for many years.
Be sexy
Yes, sex is not the only thing in a relationship, but nevertheless it is still very important, and sex will help keep the man you love. Show that you “want” him. Don't be too stiff and cold. Allow this side of your relationship to be free, fun and lively. After all, men who want to get married are looking for more than just a roommate.Be emotionally stable
Life with you doesn't have to be like a roller coaster. Men don't like hysterics. It can be very difficult at times to maintain composure in our crazy world, but nevertheless it is necessary. Learn to relax your nerves and calm your emotions. How to keep a man, captivate him so much that he cannot imagine his life without you?
Men take longer than women to decide about marriage. They are very careful in these matters and believe that they should get to know the woman well before making a marriage commitment. Often this slowness is simply unbearable for a woman. But men (as well as women, however) must be sure that they are compatible with their future partner on all levels. This process must happen at its own pace. Therefore, if you begin to put pressure on a man, forcing him to make a decision before he feels that he knows you enough, he will most likely choose to disappear from your life. Don't mention marriage until he brings it up or at least a year into your relationship. In other words, if theoretically a man is not against marriage, you should wait (within reason, of course) for him to mature. But if he remains a fierce opponent of marriage, even after a long period of your relationship, draw conclusions. And reconsider your attitude towards him.
Be happy and cheerful during your meetings
If your first dates are fun and enjoyable for both of you, he will definitely want a closer relationship. As he gets to know you better, more and more often he will think that perhaps you are the woman with whom he wants to spend his life, give birth and raise children. He will begin to think more seriously about his future, career, and buying a home. And, if he considers himself prepared and mature enough for marriage, as soon as he makes a decision about you, he will immediately propose to you.It is useful to show yourself as a confident and slightly arrogant person. Many men love confident women. They are flattered that they were able to win a woman who values herself highly.
Be gentle and affectionate
A special look, a scratch on the back, a light kiss... But(!) - nothing cloying or inappropriate.
Admire your man. Do this even if he already has a high ego. Praise him when he does something good, and avoid whining, scolding, and blaming him when he acts like a bad boy.
Be cheerful.
A woman who is happy with the very fact of her existence and enjoys every minute, irresistibly attracts men to her. Don’t be a prude and a pessimist, and the man you love will always be with you.
Men literally melt when they see the shining eyes of their beloved woman, in which one can read love for him and the warmth of her heart. This is something that can dispel all his doubts and bind him to you stronger than the heaviest shackles. It is to such radiant eyes that male poets dedicate their poems.
Modesty will help keep the man you love close
A humble person is not one who underestimates himself, but one who knows how to control his ego and takes a sincere interest in others.Don’t try to turn your relationship into a “one-sided game” because you won’t be able to keep a man that way. If you want to be treated with respect and your wishes, respect his wishes and needs as well. Don't be afraid to give more than you receive. This is the only way to keep your beloved man with you for a long time.
Remember that many men don't mind dating a woman they really like as long as they don't view her as "marriage material." If, after six months or a year of your relationship, you have not yet heard about his future plans to start a family (no matter with or without you), ask him what kind of woman he imagines as his future wife. If you recognize him in the description of yourself, this is a good sign. If we are talking mainly about the sexual merits of a woman, most likely he is not going to get married in the coming years.
If you still feel the need for a serious conversation, just reconsider your approach to this. Don't start talking with a serious tone. The pressure will inevitably trigger his innate fear of commitment. Therefore, be extremely diplomatic: “I love you very much and I feel good with you. But like any normal woman, after some time I want to get married. So I want to know if you are planning to start a family in the future. And is it possible that as we get to know each other better and better, you will begin to look at me as your potential wife? You gave the man food for thought. Now he will think about it intensely and, willingly or unwillingly, try on you for the role of his wife. Don't give ultimatums or demand an immediate response.
Show unconditional love to your man
Lasting relationships are based on more than just mutual comfort. When you support another in a difficult time for him, without thinking about your own benefits and interests, you show your devotion, and in return you receive trust and gratitude. Unconditional love is something that develops over time. It's the choices we make, not necessarily the feelings we experience. If she is between you, you are not afraid of any rivals. Now this man belongs only to you.Few registered marriages nowadays it is possible to preserve it. There are a whole bunch of reasons, the banal answer is that the characters didn’t mesh. Keeping a family together and making family life sweet is not easy. Couples who have been married for 10-12 years come to the conclusion that building a relationship all this time is a very sensitive and difficult task that requires understanding and patience from partners.
Now it's very fashionable» civil marriages, many couples are in no hurry to legitimize theirs, and it’s so good. Often a man simply doesn’t need this, and a woman waits for the moment so as not to scare off her prey. Many women make the mistake of thinking that if the relationship is not being built at the moment, then after the stamp appears in the passport everything will change and you will be able to redo it and change it. If the relationship does not work out initially, then this marriage is at risk of being dissolved from the very beginning. Experience shows that such marriages are doomed. Therefore, before you go to the registry office, learn to understand and accept your loved one for who he is. Remember that you can only change and re-educate yourself, and it doesn’t always work out, but if you love another person, just accept him with his shortcomings.
More total men Indifference is annoying and tiring, when no one is waiting at home, doesn’t talk to him, is not interested in him. Don't be indifferent. Many men, therefore, get dogs, because from the tips of their ears to the tips of their tails they are “not indifferent” to their owners, they always love them, wait for them and are always welcome. If the dog is troublesome, then they can take themselves as a mistress. Although the second option is more expensive.
Don't expect from men something unreal, that he himself will figure out something, they are structured in such a way that they require constant prompting. I fantasize that a woman can go far from reality. It might look something like this: You think that your loved one will greet you with a huge bouquet of flowers after work today (there is some reason for this), but this did not happen. You sulk at him all evening, without telling him what’s going on, you want him to guess, but this, alas, does not happen, you swear and, as a result, the evening is ruined. Many women believe that, but it should... Remember, dear ladies, no one owes anyone anything!!!
Another rule Never talk to a man about serious things on an empty stomach. Feed him, give him something to drink, and only then start talking. Don't try to decide for your loved one what will be best for him. After all, he is already an adult and lived quite normally before you and made decisions. Let him decide for himself what, how with whom and where. By deciding for him, you deprive him of his arches, and men really don’t like this. When solving problems, decide whether it is within your competence.
Don't drive the horses! Many women so hurried that her problem needs to be solved right away, or it would have been better to do it yesterday. In your opinion, he should drop everything he’s doing and rush to solve your problems. At first, of course, he will do this, but everything comes to an end and once again it will all end in a scandal.
You need fix the faucet, hang a shelf, and he keeps pulling, and you saw him. Men, of course, are all different, some are waiting for a magic foam to do something. And many are waiting for the right moment, the mood. Don't waste your nerves and time. He will definitely do everything, and cutting every day is not an option. And if he has already decided to do something, then don’t bother with your advice, he started hammering a nail, don’t teach him how best to do it. If you are so knowledgeable and capable, then do it yourself. If he undertakes to wash the dishes, then let him wash them; if he does something wrong, you can do it again later. Otherwise, during your remark, he will also remember that washing in court is not a royal business.
At quarrels do not resort to insults, since after a quarrel you will definitely need to make peace. But the quarrel will still remain in the soul, and the more this “bad” accumulates, the more difficult it will be to reconcile.
Don't refuse to my husband in sex, you must always be ready for it. After all, he lives with you for the purpose that there will always be sex. If you do not want sex for health reasons, then discuss this issue with your loved ones and consult a doctor. If the problem is getting pleasure, then there is a large amount of literature on this issue, and if it doesn’t help, then it’s also worth seeing a doctor. Some women use sex as a way to influence their husband. This is not the best way to achieve your goal!!! Do not humiliate yourself and do not humiliate others with jealousy. There are many families that fall apart due to intense jealousy. Wives try to go through their karmas, look at personal messages, look through their phones, only to find some kind of incriminating evidence. Even if a woman doesn’t find anything, she is in doubt, maybe he very cleverly covered up all his tracks.
Remember that everything Problems(99%) can be resolved and can only be resolved through negotiations. There are, of course, two exceptions. The first case, if a solution cannot be found, then change your attitude towards the problem. Second option, if you cannot come to terms with the situation and change your attitude towards it, then do not be afraid of divorce. There is no need to force yourself to live with a person with whom you are not comfortable, especially if it is mutual. In any case, try to save the family; if this fails, then there is only one way out.
- Return to section table of contents " "